Mean Girls, Mild Girls

For a long time, I've wanted to write about the impact of feminism's third wave and the resulting "raunch culture" that has developed among women because of it. The unfortunate aspect is that making your point about how bad things have become means you have to mention material that is not helpful for anyone to consider. However, I have been encouraged by the overview articles I've been reading about Wendy Shalit's new book, Girls Gone Mild,* which is a pun on the awful TV show titled "Girls Gone Wild." This is not an endorsement of her book, simply because I've not yet read it, but I thought Tim Challies presented a thoughtful post about it last week, one that went on to explore the larger themes of humiliation as entertainment:

Over the past few days I've been reading Girls Gone Mild, the new book by Wendy Shalit. Shalit's first book, A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue was published seven years ago and caused quite a stir. Shalit, an orthodox Jew, made the audacious claim that the sexual revolution may not have been entirely beneficial for women. She decried the lack of modesty this revolution has brought about and, according to TIME defended "compellingly, shame, privacy, gallantry, and sexual reticence." Of course many people, and feminists in particular, were disgusted with the book and ruthlessly mocked her. Her second effort, Girls Gone Mild Shalit investigates a new movement that seems to be growing in strength and is being led by young people. It is a movement back to modesty and back to an understanding of womanhood that is somehow feminine.

It is not just Christians who are aghast at our culture's view of womanhood. The sexual revolution has produced a generation of girls who are brazen in their sexuality. We've come to a time when girls are offered the choice between being brave and sexual or timid and modest. Culture teaches that it is acceptable to wait to engage in sexual practices as long as you feel you are unprepared. It is those who are comfortable with their bodies who flaunt their nakedness while those who hide their bodies are ashamed. Hence it is the weak who wait and the strong who engage. And countless numbers of girls are engaged, even from a young age.

But that is not all. As girls become increasingly sexual at an increasingly young age, they also become aggressive. Girls have long been taught that traditionally feminine qualities such as niceness and gentleness are a sign of weakness. Girls are encouraged to be tough, to stand for their perceived rights. And girls do this. Bullying among girls has become commonplace in schools. The term "bullycide" has been coined to describe people, and often girls, who are driven to suicide by bullying.

Girls are being mean because their parents and teachers are teaching them to be mean. Adults are telling the children that it is the aggressive who will inherit the earth. The girls who are nice will be trampled on and will be left behind.

This is just one of the myriad reasons more mature women in our churches need to be fulfilling the Titus 2 call to disciple younger women. These girls are living in a culture that promotes exactly the opposite of our what our Lord taught: "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."--Matthew 5:5. And it is to their detriment.

UPDATES: Tim Challies just posted a full review of Girls Gone Mild. And if the case for mean girls hasn't been made sufficiently, check out this disturbing story from Lydia Brownback about two teen girls torching a kitten.

* My apologies to Ms. Shalit and my thanks to all those who caught the earlier typo in the title of her book. I would have corrected it much sooner, but with most unfortunate timing, my blog hosting system went down this afternoon.

(photo courtesy of Ignacio Leonardi)

Comments

[Jason Park]

Hi,

My wife and I enjoy your blog and found the post on orphans and adoption especially enlightening. Thanks.

Regarding the state of femininity in America, it's so ironic that w/ this new emphasis on women being "liberated" from the more or less traditional mold, they are becoming more and more objectified. The more today's girls go against the grain of what used to be normative for women the more they find themselves enslaved to men's approval of them. What a shame.

Thanks for the post.

[susan Neely]

In keeping with your article on the demise of good conduct,I would like to propose that we make a steadfast effort to pray for some of the "bad" girls in the headlines.

Paris, Lindsey and Britney are constantly in the news which is really a sad commentary BUT they are all people in need of a Saviour.
Of course, each one of them represents thousands of others. Jesus died for them, too.

Thanks

[Christa Taylor]

I have recently finished reading Girls Gone Mild, and while I would send a warning to more conservative readers, I found her observations very enlightening.

Windy Shalit and I have emailed off and on, finding ways we can collaborate together to further this "modesty movement" as much as we can.

[Mellissa Hastings]

The "return to modesty" movement, whatever people want to call it, is always going to be a hot topic. Why? It is something that sparks a lot of respect secretly in the hearts of a lot of men everywhere, regardless of belief systems they may have. The news media will find this a subject of quaint fascination for years to come. The same reason Larry King enjoys asking MacArthur to come on his show all the time...RATINGS. High ratings.

I got flack for a long time for dressing as modest as possible. And now some of those same people who gave me flack are dressing more modestly themselves. Why? Getting treated like a lady is far more empowering than seeing any sexual teasing. Sorry to be graphic, but yeah, we women can be tempted to make men stumble to see our own fleshly power. Sad such is the human depravity. Praise the LORD the release from this bondage thinking we have in Jesus!

And yeah, we need to pray for our mean girls in the spotlight. That for the grace of God could be many of us...at that age, with that amount money fame...etc. AMEN +

[jennifer]

What stinks for me is that in my profession, aggressiveness is valued and sought after. Being a "meek" or even laid-back, friendly person is looked down on and CRITICIZED. I have been told by my boss to be more aggressive, and I am no wilting flower.

I really want to get a new job. I don't like being this way. It's turning me into a terrible person, I fear.

OK, I'll just say it, I'm a reporter. :)