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Greetings from sunny San Diego! I'm here for Campus Crusade for Christ's San Diego Winter Conference 2007. The theme of this year's conference is "Chosen 4 More" and I'll be speaking on Sunday on being chosen to serve and then on being a biblical woman in a modern world. I'll resume blogging next week, Lord willing.
Happy new year!
I'm in Texas collecting hugs and kisses from my nieces. That's my main Christmas present! In the meantime, here are some of my favorite holiday memories so far...
Here is the pile of Christmas gifts that I wrapped for the foster care family I sponsored for Christmas. I was up really late doing it, but it was worth it to see the tears and smiles on the mother's face as I delivered the presents to her the week before Christmas.
This is the pretty setting for my niece Claire's birthday tea. We went to the Into My Garden tea room in Plano, Texas, which is in the back of a toy shop--smart marketing! They really cater to the Mommy-and-me tea crowd, offering tiaras and wands for the birthday girl, as well as a special setting. The food was outstanding and the service very personal. We were spoiled during our mother-aunt-young lady time together.
Need a good belly laugh? I highly recommend the hilarious fairy tale mash-up, Enchanted. It was supposed to be an outing for the girls, but I think we adults (including my brother-in-law) liked it far better than they did. We guffawed loudly in several scenes and repeated the smart one-liners to each other on the way home.
No snow? No problem. Just import the fake stuff and let the kids go tubing down a snow-covered hill on a 60 degree evening. All of the fun and none of cold, wet sloppiness of real snow. I took a turn, too, laughing all the way down the hill! How easy it is to forget the joy of sledding when snow means the adult duties of digging out your car and figuring out the risk of driving to work. This was one of the events at the Merry Main Street festival in Frisco, Texas.
Merry Christmas! May the Lord's peace be with you as you celebrate His incarnation. I'll be back online in a few days.
As a child, I was always vaguely uncomfortable whenever my aunt and uncle joined us for Christmas. They would sit on the sidelines, watching us open gift after gift, and never seemed to have many presents of their own to open. Christmas morning was a spectator sport for them, which should have elicited my sympathy. Instead, with the typical self-centeredness of childhood, I soon forgot about them as I looked for more presents with my name on them.
Years later, when my sisters and I were young adults, my newly widowed uncle joined us for an improvised Christmas celebration. My first niece was a year-old toddler and her new cousin, my second niece, came home from the hospital on Christmas afternoon. We carted our presents and Christmas meal to my sister's home, eager to see the new baby. As we cooed and fussed over the girls — oblivious to my uncle, the stoic World War II veteran — he suddenly burst into tears, a novel sight to us.
"It's my first Christmas without her," he said, referring to his wife. "I miss her so much."
I was dumbstruck. Why hadn't this occurred to me before? There we were, making such a fuss over the newest addition to our family, while my uncle grieved for one who had departed.
That was the first time I became aware of the deep river of loneliness that often courses through the Christmas season for many people. This year, two of my friends are grieving — one for the passing of her husband of five months and one for the passing of his fiancée five months before their wedding. A third friend still marks the December death of her first husband more than 10 years ago.
There are many reasons for grieving, not all of them related to physical death. Some grieve the death of hopes and plans, as the years of singleness, childlessness, or chronic illness accumulate. Others grieve the families they once had, now divided by divorce. Still others miss the ease of family celebrations before this new, blended family arrangement hit them.
Christmas often staggers under the weight of human emotion and expectation — just as it has from the very start.
From a human perspective, the first "Christmas," so to speak, was simultaneously crowded and lonely. Dispirited Jews shuffled around the region, required to be part of a new, universal Roman census for possibly the first time. (Previously Palestine had been excluded from the Roman census because Jews were exempt from serving in the Roman army.) Among those sojourners was a young couple with a whiff of scandal about them.
[The rest of my article this month is on the Boundless website. Plus there is a Christmas gift there for all curious readers who click over!]
I've always been told that I speak very fast, but radio host Janet Parshall puts me to shame.
I had the privilege of meeting Janet and her husband, Craig, Tuesday night at a dinner with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. They told us the story of how they met in high school, how Craig became a believer in a dramatic conversion, and how their 36-year marriage has thrived as they have raised four children and ended up working together in the intersection of faith and politics. Though many people hear Janet on her daily radio show on the Salem network (Janet Parshall's America), not everyone knows that Craig is a lawyer with the National Religious Broadcasters Association. Janet says that Craig's hard work preserves her legal right to talk about Jesus on the radio, for which she is indebted.
On Wednesday, I was able to sit in as Nancy recorded an interview with Janet in preparation for next October's True Woman '08 conference, where Janet will be speaking. Then Janet interviewed Nancy during her live afternoon program. During these interviews and over dinner, Janet told us some of her history with Concerned Women for America and how she once was part of a debate with five leading feminists. As I'm busy researching this era for my book, I was fascinated to hear her first-hand account of meeting these women and what the issues of the day were. When she was home rearing her four young children in the 1970s, she said there were no women at home on her entire street in a small Midwestern town and even her friends questioned her choice to be at home and not work outside. But Janet said she and her husband carried a conviction from their study of Scripture that this was her primary role and task during this season. Now nothing gives her more pleasure than knowing her fou
r adult children all walk with the Lord.
It was a treat to hang out in the studio and be a fly on the wall during these shows!
(Top left: Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Janet and Craig Parshall. Middle: With Nancy and Janet. Bottom: Nancy, Janet, and the production team.)
I've been reading through another in the Reformed Expository Commentary series, this time Iain Duguid's magnificent twin commentary on Esther and Ruth. I think I've used up two highlighters on this book already. I highly recommend it, especially for those who are not used to supplementing their Bible reading with commentaries. I never thought I'd find something in Esther to prepare my heart for Christmas, but Iain Duguid has managed to supply it.
Commenting on the closing verses of Esther about the feast of Purim, Dr. Duguid writes:
The book of Esther calls us to analyze our fasting and our feasting to help us diagnose our hearts. What things cast us down to the depths of despair? What things lift us up to the heights of exultation? Even the way we celebrate the festivals of our religious calendar--such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter--can be a powerful diagnostic tool. What do we have to have to make these celebrations "right"? What things cause us anxiety and stress every year because we are nervous that they won't get done? Do we have to have a large pile of presents at Christmas? . . .
Why does the level of domestic stress rise dramatically over the holiday period? It is because the festival itself exposes our idolatries. I remember throwing a ridiculous tantrum one Christmas because I received a model ship kit from an aunt, while my sisters received adorable stuffed animals. There was nothing wrong with the gift. However, it wasn't what I wanted, and my self-idolatry became exposed for all to see! But it is not just children whose idolatries are on display year after year at Christmas. Adults, too, show their hearts by what thrills them and what disappoints them. We too are condemned by the tantrums we throw because people and presents haven't lived up to our expectations.
When I read the bit about the aunt's unpopular gift, my heart sank a bit. Tink, tink. One idol toppled! Of course, I want to give the gift that will forever endear me to one of my "niblings"! I would be dismayed if one of my gifts was the trigger for such a tantrum. As a kid, I never thought my reactions mattered to adults. It didn't occur to me that my cool reception or even obvious disappointment would be hurtful to an adult, but here I am hoping that I never see such a scene as the one described above. Fortunately, there is more to feasting before God than just side-stepping idols and tip-toeing through conflict. There is a proactive element, too, as Dr. Duguid notes:
There is nothing wrong with exchanging gifts and hanging seasonal decorations at Christmas, enjoying turkeys and pies along with an abundance of other good things at Thanksgiving, decorating eggs and eating lamb at Easter. We should celebrate God's goodness to us as God's people have always done, with good food and good fellowship. In the midst of that fellowship, though, don't just invite neighbors and friends to share the joy. Remember those who are poor, both those who are poor in things and those who are poor before God. Our times of feasting should be times for sharing with the less fortunate, for looking out for the lonely, for welcoming outcasts and strangers into our families. These are times of special opportunity for sharing the gospel good news with those who have never heard it, rich or poor, that they too may receive God's peace.
I've finished my Christmas shopping and Amazon has informed me that all my gifts have been delivered. Online shopping is truly a gift from God for the frazzled multitasker!
In between ordering gifts, I've been coordinating the communication between my county's social workers and the members of my church who signed up to sponsor more than 200 foster children for Christmas gifts this year. In fact, Covenant Life's reputation spread to the neighboring county and they contacted the local office here asking if we could do the same for their children. So we are actually providing gifts for foster children in two counties and through our own prison ministry program. I am always amazed at the reliability of my church members--they sign up, they follow through, and they are faithful to provide Christmas cheer to needy children in a generous and timely way!
The family I am sponsoring is a single mother with two children of her own who recently took in her niece through the foster care system. At the same time, she went to work and found her company's door locked in a sudden bankruptcy. So she is really financially stretched this year and having a hard time finding a new job. All she wanted was something for her girls to open on Christmas morning, but I realized her need was greater than what I could supply alone. So I contacted some of my colleagues and my caregroup members and asked if they wanted to go in with me to provide financial help for this family. I have been overwhelmed by their generous response. I can't wait to bring the gifts next week and watch this woman's face as she sees the love of Christ demonstrated through His people!
If you are looking for a way to provide a Christmas blessing to a needy child, I'd like to recommend Covenant Mercies. Though it's unfortunate that many charitable organizations are in the news these days for their lavish spending and high administrative costs, Covenant Mercies maintains an impressively low 1.7% administrative overhead cost for their monthly orphan sponsorship program. Covenant Mercies began with an orphans program in Nagongera, Uganda, expanding last year into Ndola, Zambia, and is now preparing for new 2008 programs in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and Kiburara, Uganda. In the original program in Nagongera, executive director Doug Hayes writes about a new initiative, separate from the orphan sponsorship program, to build a new school in the community:
In the long run, perhaps the most important form of care we provide for our children is in the category of education. In all the countries where Covenant Mercies is working, the sad reality is that most orphaned children – without assistance from the outside – would likely drop out of school by the sixth grade due to their inability to pay school fees. Your sponsorship is critical not only as a provision of necessary funds for school tuition, educational supplies, etc., but even more significantly as a restoration of hope for a brighter future. Our children know that they were vulnerable to a life of merely scraping out a subsistence. Your generosity provides them with hope by keeping them in school.We have learned, however, that keeping our kids in school is not the equivalent of providing them with a quality education. Especially in the rural areas where many children live but few parents pay taxes, students are crowded into schools that are ill-equipped to provide the educational resources and staff needed for such numbers. In Nagongera, our primary area of operation in Uganda, it is not unusual for elementary school children to share a classroom with over 100 other students. This same classroom is typically led by a single teacher, and equipped with only a few desks and textbooks. Frequently, teachers take their students outside under a shade tree rather than attempting to squeeze them into a room that was made for far fewer. Hardly sufficient to facilitate learning on even the best of days, these outdoor classrooms are often dispersed by uncooperative weather. Simply put, our children are indeed staying in school, but their presence in the classroom amounts to an added weight on a system that is already overburdened and unable to deliver quality education.
For this and other compelling reasons, Covenant Mercies has decided to build a school for the children in our eastern Ugandan (Nagongera) program. On the 50+ acres where our orphans’ homes are located, we have set aside a piece of land for this project, with plans to break ground on construction in 2008. The school will be phased in over a four-year period, with space for 560 students anticipated by 2012. In close proximity to our water tower, the school will enjoy the benefits of sanitary cooking facilities and flushing toilets, yet will be set far enough away from our homes to provide appropriate privacy for the families living there. In total, we expect the school project to cost approximately $150,000, including a lab of low-energy computers powered by the same solar panels that run our water system.
You can read about the work with HIV/AIDs programs, Ethiopian slum children, Somalian refugees, and more on the Covenant Mercies website, where you can also make a donation online.
I need a good dose of Christmas TV specials. I haven't seen any holiday movies or TV shows this season and it's unlikely I'll be able to unplug from the laptop anytime soon to see one. But in the meantime, I have enjoyed driving around listening to the Nuclearity podcast show, "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!" from FamilyLife Ministries. It's been fascinating to hear how this classic Christmas special was created and how it has affected different people for more than 40 years.
Host Hugh Duncan has created a well-produced podcast that is more reminiscent of radio theater than the typical podcast. When Hugh interviewed me, I spoke to him about how startled I was to watch the show as an adult and see the strong element of female mockery in it, a reaction I blogged about back in 2005. I didn't think that bit would make the program, but it did--and it's followed by an anecdote from a man who knew the Peanuts creator, Charles Schultz. He confirmed that Schultz was acutely sensitive to female mockery because of the way he was treated as a young boy. That fascinated me! You can hear this segment starting around 14:50 in this podcast.
If you are looking for something to listen to with the kids on your holiday errands or road trips, this podcast will probably entertain all but the littlest ones. Hugh interviewed a number of people for this show, including CeCe Winans, David Crowder, Phil Vischer, Dick Staub, and others and he has included clips from the show and selections from the music soundtrack, too.
My annual "nibling" tea party with my sister, Beth, and my niece, Natalie, grew to new proportions this year as we invited two guests to join us. Lisa Gallo and her daughter, Alyssa, came with us to celebrate Natalie's birthday at the Mayflower Hotel in downtown D.C. We enjoyed our tea and carbs as a harpist serenaded us. While I appreciate the ambiance of professionally decorated hotels, there's nothing quite as satisfying as the selection of tea and food served in smaller, dedicated tea houses. Nevertheless, we received great service at the Mayflower and enjoyed our girlie time together.
(The tea party: Lisa and Alyssa Gallo, Natalie and Beth Oman, me. Alyssa pours her loose leaf tea. The tree photos: The Gallos. The girls. The Omans.)
Personal typo torture: to lie beneath such a grievous punctuation error and be unable to reach out from the grave to edit it!
Earlier this week, a friend of mine sent a link to a blog about misused quotation marks. (The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks. Misinterpreting bad punctuation since 2005.) Reading the examples there, I laughed so hard I began wheezing. From that blog, I followed a link to another "snark" (as the blogroll was termed) to one about apostrophe abuse, which was even funnier! I've been on a personal crusade against the "satanic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes" across the landscape of America since at least 1995. I'm rapidly losing ground, as this photo from the apostrophe abuse blog illustrates.
Though apostrophe abuse is most heinous, my "inner stickler" is also quite particular about numerous other lapses in etiquette or common sense:
Rants
- People who flick lit cigarettes out of their cars. Pollute your own ashtray. A close second: Men who launch phlegm in public places, especially when accompanied by a loud auditory ramp-up.
- Maintenance staff and retail workers who wear walkie talkies and deafen themselves and everyone else within a two mile radius with the volume of the inane and inaudible chatter.
- Definately. It is definitely a spelling error reinforced by its own ubiquitousness.
- People who drive in the rain without turning on their headlights. A louder rant goes to dark automobiles driving like stealth vehicles.
- The way Facebook blatantly compromised its users' privacy and continues to track their off-site commercial activities without knowledge or consent.
To be fair, there are some things that also deserve major props:
Raves
- Airport chair massages to unkink your shoulders after six hours flying in a middle seat and losing the battle for armrests.
- Alarm clocks with iPod docks in hotel rooms so that you can listen to worship music (or anything else you want) while traveling.
- Internet recipe sites that allow you to search by the one ingredient and come up with a meal. A particular shout-out to allrecipes.com for the ability to scale down recipes for the single gourmet.
- Netflix! Best reason: No more dodging the inappropriate DVD covers lurking in the Blockbuster store. Second-best reason: Reviews from people "64% like you."
The fine print: I cannot vouch for the propriety of every example posted on these punctuation blogs. From what I saw of the most recent posts, they were fine. Please read with discernment.
Hat tip: Goes to Lynne Truss of Eats Shoots and Leaves for the quotes about redundant apostrophes and the inner stickler. A highly recommended book for the dwindling defenders of punctuation.
Humility disclaimer: Pride goeth before the grammatical fall. I expect to make many mistake's in the near future. :) <---- This is for all the emoticon ranters.
My home church, Covenant Life, maintains a blog called The Family Room. Yesterday, one of the pastors posted a tribute to a single man's creative marriage proposal. I thought that was a brilliant idea, until I realized that probably no single men read The Family Room blog. Shortly thereafter, a few of the single men in my office passed by and I asked: "Hey, do you read the Family Room?"
"The what?"
Yeah, my point exactly. So for the single men who are lurking on this blog, here's what one of my friends did to make his engagement memorable: Michael and Aida's special evening.
And here is the happy couple (on the left in black) celebrating the groom's recent birthday. They are some crazy kids. Not only are they planning a February wedding, the month prior they are also going on the Uganda mission trip I mentioned yesterday.
Speaking of single men in my office, we had our staff Christmas party yesterday. That is always the occasion for the annual portrait of our eligible bachelors. Well, here they are.
Then someone herded all the single women together for a similar picture. Of course there were more of us. Some things don't change!
Michael's birthday photo (bottom row from left): Michael, Aida, Tyler, Matt, Brittany, Daniel, Ben. (Top row from left): Margaret, Ian, Angelita, Jane, me. (Shout-out to Tyler!)
Single men photos (from left): Steve Gill, Matt Wahl, Kyle Martineau, Drew Garfield, Jeff Martin, Scott Schefferstein.
Single women photo (from left): Bethany Gill, Sarah Medler, Rhoda Dixon, Rachael Puckett, Sarah Lewis, Rocio Borda, Chelsea Kauflin, Mindy Hooper, me, Cathy Charnley, and Trish Barnett.
Joshua Harris: Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World
Everyone struggles with sinful sexual temptation. Everyone. So what can you do about it? Josh Harris candidly explains how to untangle God's good gift of sex from the issues of lust and sexual sin. A great book for both men and women!
Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, Janelle Bradshaw: Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed
This is a short book with a lot of wisdom. At under 100 pages, it won't take a lot of time to read. But the eternal perspective on time management that it contains will be well worth the investment.
Dave Harvey: When Sinners Say "I Do": Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage
Dave brings a humorous and light touch to a heavy subject, creating a winsome and appealing approach to an important topic. Dave spends the first four chapters addressing the doctrine of sin and why we need to have a healthy suspicion of our own hearts and motives before seeking to address the hearts and motives of others. But some of the greatest "gold" is found in chapters five and six, when Dave addresses mercy and forgiveness. Recommended for everyone--you don't need to be married to learn from this book how to live redemptively in close relationships.
John Ensor: Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart
A basic, user-friendly guide on the weighty matters of romance and the roles of men and women. Highly readable, concise guidance on how men and women can find lasting romance and enduring friendships.
Timothy S. Lane and Paul D. Tripp: How People Change
This book helps Christians understand the roots of problems that are bearing bad fruit in their lives. Then it shows how the gospel can exchange bad roots for good roots--and good fruit. A gracious and encouraging book for anyone weary of trying to change through sheer willpower alone.
Tim Lane and Paul Tripp: Relationships: A Mess Worth Making
I love this title! The mess is because of our sin and self-centered drives. The worth comes from what God is doing among our relationships. There are so many excellent insights in this book--I recommend it for everyone. Though we tend to think romance when we hear the word "relationship," this book addresses a far broader scope with graciousness and biblical truth.
Gary & Betsy Ricucci: Love That Lasts: When Grace Meets Marriage
This is the second edition of a book I first read as a new believer. It was the first book I ever read on marriage and its gracious and encouraging approach made an indelible mark. This revised edition is even meatier and more winsome than the first. Highly recommended for singles and marrieds alike.
C. H. Spurgeon: The Triumph of Faith in a Believer's Life
This collection of Spurgeon's writings spans faith's sure foundations to what mature faith looks like. It is both inspiring and practical, and will revive the flickering embers of faith in any reader's soul.
Henry T. Blackaby, Richard Blackaby: Hearing God's Voice
This book expands on many of the principles found in Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby's highly successful book from the mid-'90s. It reminds us that we are here to serve God's purposes and not vice versa, so our prayers should be conformed the same way. The authors help us to discern the voice of God, to identify ways He speaks, and to respond to revelations of His will. An ideal book for those who are seeking God for direction and guidance.
C.J. Mahaney: Living the Cross-Centered Life
It seems that there are many ideas that compete for the attention of single adults. In the end, what we will be commended for has nothing to do with having a 'successful' dating life, a great career, the ability to travel widely, or to own a lot of expensive possessions. It has to do with hearing, 'Well done, good and faithful servant.' This little book keeps us all focused on the One who is our mediator. An outstanding resource for any Christian who feels caught in the "performance trap."
John Piper: God Is the Gospel: Meditations on God's Love As the Gift of Himself
This compact book argues eloquently that the good news of the Gospel is all the things we normally assume--salvation, justification, propitiation, new heavens and new earth, etc. But the heart of the Gospel is not found in the gifts of God but in God Himself. The good news of the gospel is the enjoyment of the glory of God in Christ. Recommended especially for long-time Christians who may need to be refreshed in the wonder of the Gospel.
John MacArthur: NASB MacArthur Study Bible
This is the revised edition of Dr. MacArthur's study notes and commentary within the NASB translation. This Bible includes additional supplements on topics such as how we got the Bible, how to study the Bible, and the progress of revelation. An excellent personal study Bible!
Paul David Tripp: Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens
Do you think rebellion is automatic in the teen years? It shouldn't be. Paul Tripp's book challenges our assumptions and shows parents how to make the teen years a season of opportunity, instead.
Mark Dever: The Message of the New Testament: Promises Kept
What a priceless Bible study tool this is! Though Mark is a superb scholar, his evangelist's heart is clearly evident in his accessible writing style. This book is packed with outstanding teaching but it is written in a winsome manner that is free of dense theological terms. The goal of this book is to present an overview of each book of the New Testament so that we can understand how it fits in with the rest of the Bible.
John MacArthur: Twelve Extraordinary Women
The women MacArthur chose as subjects for this book are: Eve, Sarah, Rahab, Ruth, Hannah, Mary, Anna, The Samaritan Woman, Martha and Mary, Mary Magdalene and Lydia. Each chapter goes into the cultural and theological background of these women and then shows how God worked through ordinary women to make their faith and fruit extraordinary. Highly recommended!
Nancy Leigh DeMoss, editor: Biblical Womanhood in the Home (Foundations for the Family Series)
This book collects chapters from several leading women writers and teachers to address a wide array of topics concerning biblical womanhood. I'm partial to Carolyn Mahaney's two chapters on femininity and beauty, but I also highly recommend Nancy Leigh DeMoss's two chapters on the portraits of a wise and foolish woman.
Tedd Tripp: Shepherding A Child's Heart
Every adult should read this book, but it's a Must for parents. As you'll soon read in this valuable book, parenting is not about behavior modification--it's about reaching the heart of children so they understand their motives, their sinfulness, and ultimately their need for a Savior.
Sinclair Ferguson: Discovering God's Will
The counsel contained in this slim volume is timeless. Nine chapters comprise the book: God's Ultimate Purpose, Guidelines for Guidance, Guarding the Heart, A Christian Lifestyle, Principles of Conduct, Consider Your Calling, Marriage?, Wait for the Lord, and He Leads Me. The last four chapters are priceless, but they need to be read on the foundation of the teaching in the earlier chapters.
C.J. Mahaney: Humility: True Greatness
This small book packs a wallop. C.J. starts by showing us why God opposes the proud and is drawn to the humble. Then he illustrates how to cultivate humility in many practical ways. From chapters on The Promise of Humility and The Perils of Pride, to Identifying Evidences of Grace and Responding Humbly to Trials, this is a book of seasoned wisdom.
Randy Newman: Questioning Evangelism
This book helps us understand how to ask questions of unbelievers to expose their assumptions about God and get to the heart of their questions--rather than getting sidetracked in our conversations. I'm still reading this book, so I'll add more commentary when I'm finished. But the fact that my pastor recommended it was all I needed to buy it!
Randy Alcorn: Money, Possessions & Eternity
Here is a comprehensive study of what the Scriptures teach about earning, spending, saving, and investing money. Randy is a gracious writer with a personal testimony of living what he has written. It's a big book, but well worth the investment to purchase and read it.
Randy Alcorn: Safely Home
This is a fictional account of a Christian persecuted for his faith in China, but Randy Alcorn has done his homework. You'll learn a lot about the reality of Christianity in China through reading Safely Home. But you won't be able to read it flippantly. Well-crafted, well-developed, and moving--I highly recommend it.
Wayne Grudem: Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth
While Mary Kassian's book (below) is a great sociological examination of the impact of second-wave feminism on our culture, Wayne Grudem's book is a detailed look at the claims of evangelical feminists against the teaching of Scripture. An excellent theological resource, written in a thorough yet humble manner. This is a life's work from Dr. Grudem and well worth having in your own personal library.
Mary Kassian: The Feminist Mistake
This book is subtitled "The Radical Impact of Feminism on Church and Culture." It's an in-depth, academic overview of the impact of what's been called second-wave feminism, spanning 1960s to 1990 or so. As a former feminist, it was eye-opening to read an historical account about the era in which I grew up. Kassian is a thorough writer, and her writing and research underscores one essential point: When you start by disregarding one aspect of the Bible's teaching, it's a short ride down a slippery slope to discarding Christianity altogether. A sobering read.
Arthur Bennett, editor: The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions
I once read that the public prayers of Christians today are anemic and repetitive. That charge may be true. If so, this book could be a remedy. It is a collection of Puritan prayers and devotions, organized by theme. This is one of my favorite tools in my personal devotions. I enjoy reading these prayers aloud, for their vocabulary and grammar force me to slowly savor their meaning. I am not praying aloud these days with the Puritan "thee" and "thou," but I do remember their concepts and try to incorporate their ideas into my prayers. As one writer here stated, "We ask great things of a great God." That's as true today as it was 400 years ago.
John Piper: When I Don’t Desire God: How To Fight For Joy
Joy doesn't just happen. It's a fight for most Christians. And this book is an excellent guide for both why and how. An excellent resource for Christians who have grown weary and/or rusty in their personal devotions.
R. C. Sproul, editor: The Reformation Study Bible
This is the English Standard Version Bible with study notes from contributors such as Wayne Grudem, Sinclair Ferguson, Bruce Waltke, Graeme Goldsworthy, and James Boice. It's the version I currently use for personal study.
Jonathan Edwards: Charity and Its Fruits
Charity is the old-fashioned word for love. This book is a collection of sermons from Jonathan Edwards from the mid-1700s. It's not a fast read, but it's worth the work to plumb the concept of Christian love as understood in another era by a formidable theologian.
Gary Thomas: Sacred Marriage
Gary asks the book's central question in its subtitle: What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? In this book, Gary looks at marriage as a spiritual discipline, examining how marriage is one way God conforms us to the image of Christ. Many of my newly married friends have found this book to be quite helpful.
Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre: Girl Talk
This book, written by a mother-daughter duo, is for both mothers and daughters to go through together. It's subtitled "Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood." I've given many copies away to mothers. But I've also heard of single fathers going through the book with their daughters. No matter how it's done, the point of the book is to disciple pre-teen and teen girls about biblical womanhood. It's an outstanding and winsomely-written book.
Lies Women Believe: Nancy Leigh DeMoss
The subtitle is, "And the Truth that sets them free," which is really the focus of this succinct yet wide-ranging book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Tackling lies we can believe about God, ourselves, sin, priorities, marriage, children, emotions, and circumstances, there is plenty here to challenge our current thinking and replace it with truth from God's Word.
Noel Piper: Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God
This book profiles five women who lived courageous, fruitful lives from the 1700s on. Four of the five were single women, a fact that was not lost on me. A book that will provoke you to examine your own life. Highly recommended!
Elizabeth George: Loving God with All Your Mind
By going through Philippians 4:8, Elizabeth George teaches us how to think thoughts about God and others that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and excellent. An excellent book for women who wrestle with sinful judgments of others (suspicion, insecurity, and critical attitudes).
Edward T. Welch: Depression: A Stubborn Darkness
Everyone wrestles with depression at various times and in varying degrees, and this book is an outstanding resource for defeating it. Ed Welch writes with such compassion and clarity, yet with firm conviction in the sufficiency of God's Word. Each chapter tackles different manifestations of depression and assigns helpful "homework" assignments for overcoming depression. The book closes with advice to friends and family members of those who suffer from more severe depression.
John Piper: Don't Waste Your Life
It seems that John Piper writes books faster than I can read them. This is one of his more accessible books and it makes a strong argument for living wisely in light of eternity.
Joni Eareckson Tada, Steven Estes: When God Weeps
This powerful book explores the issue of suffering. Joni writes elegantly of her personal trials as a quadriplegic, and Steve Estes adds a pastoral voice and perspective about God's character. Includes one of the most powerful chapters about the crucifixion that I've ever read. It will take your breath away--if you can still read it through your tears.
Jerry Bridges: Trusting God
In the end, the Christian life boils down to one simple element: trusting God. In this classic book, Jerry Bridges writes clearly and pointedly about what we must do to grow in our relationship with God and to trust Him unreservedly.
Edward T. Welch: When People Are Big and God Is Small
There's a lot of talk these days about peer pressure and co-dependency. The Bible calls it "fear of man," which includes both being afraid of people and craving their approval. EVERYONE is affected by this sin tendency, and in this book Ed Welch wipes aside the murk and provides a shining view of God's grace. One of the most significant books in my life. A Must Read for singles!
Ken Sande: The Peacemaker
When conflict arises in your life, do you ever see it as an opportunity to glorify God? You will after you read this book. Ken Sande provides clear, biblically-based thinking on conflict resolution.
Charles Spurgeon, Roy H. Clarke: Beside Still Waters
This daily devotional features a collection of C.H. Spurgeon's writings on suffering, faith, and perseverance in trials. My copy is exceedingly highlighted. Recommended for every Christian, but especially for those whose faith is flagging due to trials or disappointments.
Joshua Harris: Boy Meets Girl
This is my favorite Josh Harris book. I highly recommend chapter ten, "When Your Past Comes Knocking," for those wrestling with past sexual sin. Josh candidly explores how to experience God's forgiveness, both to receive yourself and to extend to others.
Matthew Henry: The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit (Puritan Writings)
It's good to read authors from different centuries, just to shake out the 21st-century ideas and tap into some timeless wisdom. Though this book requires some concentration to read, there is nothing else like it for learning to subdue your passions and cultivate contentment.
Paul Tripp: War of Words
You know the old saying--women use WAY more words in any given day than men do. That's why this is a Must Read for every woman. The subtitle says it all: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles.
Paul Tripp: Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands
Have you ever found yourself at a loss to try to help or counsel someone else? Have you been too critical? Too impatient? Too disinterested? This book shows people in need of change how to help people who need change. It's a roadmap for grace when sinners counsel other sinners.
Paul Tripp: Lost in the Middle
The subtitle is "Midlife and the Grace of God." An outstanding book! Don't let the "midlife" label turn you away. It will give you a Godward perspective whether you are tempted by a "quarter-life" crisis, "thirtysomething" crisis, or a full-blown "buy the Corvette and get a face lift" midlife crisis. A "crisis" is really just God showing us we've been putting our hopes into something other than Him. Paul Tripp challenges us to examine the harvest from our lives and not give up hope for planting a newer, more fruitful one in the future.
Joshua Harris: Stop Dating the Church
You may be experiencing a "lack of commitment" in many areas of your life, but there's one area for Christians that shouldn't be affected: commitment to the church. Not convinced? Read this book.
John Piper, Justin Taylor: Sex and the Supremacy of Christ
This book is a compilation of messages given at the 2005 Desiring God National Conference. In our sex-saturated society, this book is important for singles to read--not only because there are specific chapters included for single men and women--but because throughout the book God's glory is promoted and His original purpose for sex is celebrated without shame.
C.J. Mahaney: Sex, Romance and the Glory of God
This is a Must Read for married men and those about to get married. I would even recommend it for single men who have converted as adults and who need to find a biblically-oriented guide to what God really intended in the gift of sex.
Carolyn Mahaney: Feminine Appeal
Many single women have asked me what books they should be reading in order to prepare for marriage--or even to better understand marriage in order to relate to their married friends. This is one of the Must Reads. Based on the principles found in Titus 2, Carolyn Mahaney addresses the virtues that all godly women (married and single) should emulate.
Carolyn McCulley: Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?
Of course I have to plug my own book. But remember, the title is a question, not a statement! The subtitle is the heart of the book: Trusting God with a Hope Deferred. A book for single women of all ages who want to understand what biblical femininity looks like for an umarried woman.
