Radical Womanhood

Sense and Sensibility

The Janeites gathered once again for tea last night, hoping that PBS would salvage the Jane Austen Masterpiece series with the latest adaptation of Sense and Sensibility.

The first thirty seconds rattled our tea cups as we frantically scrambled for the remote, our delicate sensibilities in utter shock. Whither our beloved Jane Austen?! Whither our smelling salts?! Such shocking conduct. Such complete impertinence. We simply must protest the gratuitous backstory!

Truly, it is deplorable, this modern age that treads so clumsily upon the delicate foreshadowings and unfurlings of Miss Austen's character development. We have been given so many heavy-handed hints about the nefarious Willoughby as to wonder how anyone at Barton Cottage could miss them as well. Whither the beauty and charm of the former Willoughby? However, we applaud the more forthright Edward Ferrars, who--unlike the toadying Hugh Grant version--is capable of looking women in the eye and forming complete sentences. Quite right, that one. The jury is still out on Col. Brandon, however. Perhaps he will be less sullen by the second half of this production.

This Janeite held her breath, ready for the debut of the character she is most likely to become--the charmingly nosy Mrs. Jennings, she who can "winkle out" any juice morsel of gossip. "I think I've unearthed a secret. I'll winkle it out of you! Winkle, winkle, winkle!" Alas, no winkling. For shame. While Mrs. Jennings is not nearly as charming, Mrs. Dashwood is a far more complex character in this version than the 1995 edition.

The Janeites will render their final judgment at the conclusion of next week's program. We sincerely hope that our tea cups will withstand the final installment.

(Photo: Marianne and Willoughby in the 2008 edition of Sense and Sensibility.)

Parasitic Pregnancy?

Sometimes the "thinking" in certain pockets of our culture leaves me speechless. Even though I'm researching this topic right now, I remain stunned about where the pro-abortion movement is heading. Here, from yesterday's Boundless article, is the latest jaw-dropper:

Flash back a decade or so, when a professor named Eileen McDonagh put out a book called Breaking the Abortion Deadlock.

McDonagh didn't bother to deny that a fetus is a person. Instead, she argued that a fetus is, in effect, a criminal — a "powerful intruder" guilty of "kidnapping" a woman and holding her hostage for nine months — and thus could be dispatched like any violent assailant. "The fetus is not innocent," she wrote, "but instead aggressively intrudes on a woman's body so massively that deadly force is justified to stop it."

Reaching for analogies, McDonagh compared an unborn child to a rapist. You can't expect a woman to endure a pregnancy to support her assailant, she said: "This type of reasoning is akin to saying that a woman being raped should wait till the rape is over rather than stopping the rapist." And you can't protest that the preborn child has no malicious intent: Neither would a mentally incompetent rapist, McDonagh argued, but you still have the right to shoot him.

Though some feminist groups (the National Organization for Women among them) leaders hailed the book, few others raced to embrace it. To all but the most radical feminists, talking as if the unborn child were The Enemy is, in a word, bizarre. No one seemed to talk about the book for long, and I, for one, figured not much would come of it.

Read what happened next in "Intruder Alert." Then please pray for those who advocate such a heinous idea.

Abortion Changes You

One of the most challenging--and gratifying--elements of working on my book is interviewing the women who have agreed to share their personal stories. I'm now in the process of working on the chapter about motherhood, which features numerous testimonies from women with a wide variety of parenting stories . . . including deeply painful admissions of abortion. This is a painful topic, even for women who know they have been forgiven because of the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ for their sins. I have sat and cried with women as they spoke of the challenges of adoption or infertility or caring for ill children. But I have seen profound remorse from women who aborted a child. The women I interviewed were not Christians at the time of their abortions and they have given birth to other children--two situations that create terrible clarity in hindsight. They have repented and know they have been forgiven of their sins because of the lavish mercy of the cross, but grief can still wash over them unexpectedly.

So I can only imagine what it would be like without the knowledge of grace and forgiveness, and the support of a Bible-believing church. What do you do with all the hurt that our culture ignores? How do you process grief when abortion is viewed as a political platform? Where do you go if you are a man and your child was aborted without your consent? How do you handle your emotions when your grandchild, niece, or sibling is aborted?

These questions are some of what drive the non-political online outreach, Abortion Changes You. It's a tool to begin a conversation about post-abortive grief.  I say "begin" because this site does not overtly present the gospel. There are a variety of personal stories posted, some of which are theologically accurate and some not. But it is a start, a bridge to the millions who have discovered that abortion is not a "quick fix" for the pregnancy they terminated. I pray the Lord will use it not only to reach those with post-abortive grief, but also for those who are searching for information about abortion. May numerous women come across this site when searching for abortion referrals.

The Hope of Resurrection In the Midst of Persecution

Happy Easter to you all! I pray your celebration of our Lord's resurrection was blessed one.

This morning, we heard from C.J. Mahaney preaching on preparing for death based on the hope of resurrection. His sermon text was 1 Corinthians 15:17. Here it is in context:

Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. We are even found to be misrepresenting God, because we testified about God that he raised Christ, whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. (1 Cor. 15:12-19)

If Christ has not been raised, then indeed our faith is in vain. That can be a crushing thought to many believers, but I can imagine no group with more to lose if that be true (praise God it is not!) than those who are persecuted or imprisoned for their faith.

These brothers and sisters need our support. Did you know that you can minister to many who are imprisoned for their faith? Voice of the Martyrs (VOM) maintains a website with some details on these prisoners, and information about how to write to them and how to contact their governments to appeal for their release. By becoming an advocate for an imprisoned Christian, you may have a profound impact. And VOM makes it so easy to do, that it's almost scandalous not to invest 15 minutes or so to pray and write letters on a prisoner's behalf. Here's what VOM says about being an advocate:

By becoming an ‘advocate’ you are entering into the vital and important ministry of intercession and solidarity with those who suffer for their faith in Christ.  As an advocate for our brothers and sisters in chains you will be encouraging them when you write to them in prison and supporting them when you write to officials on their behalf.

Your involvement testifies of the love and unity found among followers of Jesus Christ throughout the world. It is a witness to both your imprisoned family and to the authorities you write to or who may censor letters intended for the prisoner.

Your involvement is evidence to our persecuted family that they are not forgotten.  Often the oppressors try to brainwash these Christians into believing that they are forgotten, that they are not loved and that no one knows about them. Through this isolation and loneliness the devil can prey upon their faith. When a prisoner learns others are protesting on their behalf or when they receive your letter, they know that someone cares.

You involvement can result in better treatment for a prisoner. The authorities in many nations are very sensitive about their image abroad. When they realize that outsiders are monitoring a prisoner’s situation, conditions may be improved.

For this we have a scriptural mandate. Read and pray through the following verses, which will help you understand the role you are undertaking. This is no doubt front line spiritual warfare and you will also need to pray through all your thinking and letter writing.

Hebrews 13:3, Matthew 25: 34-40, Matthew 5:10, 1 Peter 3: 13-17, 1 Peter 4:12-14.

Tonight, I wrote an email to the Chinese ambassador on behalf of a 42-year-old woman who has been under arrest since July, 2007. I also wrote a letter directly to her in Chinese. VOM has an innovative system in which you can pick out phrases in English that are already composed in Chinese. Then you compose your letter, print it out, and send it to her. VOM has also wisely provided a number of guidelines for these letters, which I would suggest that you read first--including what to write to government officials and how to write to prisoners.

Please ... take a moment to make an appeal on behalf of one of the 18 prisoners currently listed on VOM's site. Then remind these prisoners of the resurrection hope that we have and encourage them to run the race with perseverance for the sake of God's glory. Let them know they are not forgotten for their courage and conviction.

Cherish Grace: An Easter Meditation

Here's an excerpt from my article this week on Boundless. It is my meditation on Easter, as seen through the eyes of a woman often overlooked in this account--Mary Magdalene. Happy Easter to you and your loved ones! Hallelujah! He is Risen!

Mary Magdalene had made it her life mission to minister to the needs of Jesus, but on that fateful day, she was absolutely helpless to do anything.

Crucifixion was the most shameful and painful form of execution known at that time. Stripped naked — especially shameful for Palestinian Jews — the condemned person hung in full sight of the passing crowds, unable to restrain the excretion of wastes in public and subjected to excruciating torture.¹

In shock, Mary Magdalene and the other women stood at a respectful distance, watching in horrified silence as Jesus writhed in humiliation and pain. Time slowed to an unbearable creep. It seemed entire lifetimes were conducted between His raspy, laborious breaths. The jeers and taunts of onlookers were muffled by her private grief.

"Save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross!"

How different were the days when she and a determined band of other women willingly followed Him through cities and villages as Jesus proclaimed the good news of the kingdom of God. Mary Magdalene was a living testament, a woman freed from the torment of seven demons. It didn't matter to her that there was a whiff of scandal about her inclusion. Jewish rabbis and Greek teachers never included women among their disciples.² But she, Joanna, Susanna, and many other women were not about to be shooed away if their Master welcomed them without question. To be able to provide for Jesus and His other disciples was her joy and privilege³. Besides, Mary of Magdala always carried a whiff of scandal. To be called by her wealthy but idolatrous hometown was a constant reminder of that from which she had been rescued.⁴

She had witnessed many incredible miracles by the word of Jesus. She had seen great crowds amass to see these miracles for themselves. She had heard His teaching and knew those words required a response, a life-altering transformation. She willingly gave it because she knew what it was like to be freed from the oppression of darkness and evil. The years of social isolation that must have accompanied such oppression were more than redeemed the day she stood near Him and heard Jesus say she was part of His family. "My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it," He said, gesturing at her and all the other disciples who stood near Him.⁵

If that offended Mary, Jesus' mother, it was not evident now as she stood nearby, silently weeping.

"He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him."

The jeers were merciless. Even one of the other condemned, crucified men joined in, spewing his taunts from a bloodied mouth and weakened lungs. Suddenly the noonday sun went dark and the voices were muted to a fearful silence. Jew or Gentile, everyone in the crowd considered this a bad omen.⁶ But Mary Magdalene stood still. She knew that darkness was one of the plagues in Egypt; even so, it was a tool of God's deliverance. She would wait. Jesus had told his disciples that something like this would happen: "[He] began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised."⁷ The thing was, nobody really understood what He was talking about then. Today, the suffering was highly evident to His disciples but fear clouded their thinking about the purpose.

Three hours of darkness. Three hours of watching life drain from the One she loved so much. Finally, just as the evening sacrifice was being prepared at the temple, Jesus cried out His last and gave up His life. Mary Magdalene would never forget His anguished cry: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"⁸ The earth shook violently when He died, knocking her off-balance. Only later did she find out that at the same time the temple curtain separating the Holy of Holies from the rest of the sanctuary was torn in two, exposing the secret place that only the high priest could enter once a year.

Mary Magdalene saw how the soldiers pierced Jesus' side to assure His death. She wondered if they would take His body and throw it in a common grave like every other crucifixion victim. The very idea of it overwhelmed her with grief. Public mourning was important for every dead person, but it was illegal for those who had been executed.⁹ Even that small act of devotion was prohibited by law.

[Mary Magdalene's account continues in "Cherish Grace."]

 

Open Nesters

When I was in Charlotte this past weekend, I learned a great phrase coined by my hostess, Jane Connolly. Instead of referring to women with grown children as "empty nesters," she speaks of such women as "open nesters." These women are in a season where they can now be open to new people to care for and new ways for God to use the experience and wisdom they have gleaned from rearing children of their own.

I love both the phrase and the idea! I love the God-centered optimism in that phrase. I love the hint of excitement about what could happen. And I love the flexibility and servant's heart represented in it.

So, to those of you who are open-nesters, how have you used this time? What has God done with your time, wisdom, and availability? The comments function is open for this post--please let us hear from you on this topic in Practical Issues for Godly Women.

To Be At Home

In response to my last post, "The Economic Base of the Family," Janelle Hardy sent me the following joke:

The industrial revolution came and took the men from the home. Compulsory schooling came and took the children from the home. Feminism came and took the women from the home. And now...they are all out working to pay the mortgage so the dog can stay at home by himself.

Bah-dah-boom, bah-dah-bing.

But it's a good transition to our next post in the Practical Issues for Godly Women series. Last week, Boundless published an article from Heather Koerner about how she evaluated the decision to be a stay-at-home mother. What fascinated me about the piece is that she could speak both as a new mother and as a child who was often in daycare herself. As what's been called the "latch-key generation" becomes parents themselves, I think the "mommy wars" conversation is going to take on some interesting nuances. Here's an excerpt from her thoughtful article:

I can't tell you the exact moment I made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom.

I can remember a few of the moments that I acted on it — like when my husband and I started sacrificing for the "baby fund" or the day I handed in my resignation and said good-bye to almost 40 percent of our family income. But those were the action points, not the decision point.

I think that at different times in my life, I just started to know.

I'm sure it started in my own day care experience. After attending a group day care for much of my childhood, I took different jobs during my college breaks as a child care worker and nanny. Though most of my co-workers were nice, sweet ladies who tried to make the day pleasant for kids, I still began to see that there was something unique and special about a parent's love that a child care worker could never duplicate. Even with my one-on-one time as a nanny, I saw that, as much as I cared about my job, it was still that — a job.

But what about me, I would wonder. I'm a well-adjusted, productive member of society and I came through day care just fine. What's the problem?

I thought about that — hard. Then the answer came to me in three little words: in spite of. Day care had not made my childhood happy. My childhood was happy in spite of my time in day care. It was my parents' individual attention each night and on weekends that helped me to thrive. It wasn't that the days were always bad, but that my parents' love was always best.

I started to ask myself the hard questions: Who is going to raise my child someday? Will the nights and weekends be enough?

At times like that, I sometimes just longed for explicit biblical instruction. You know, some verse that would just settle the whole debate: "Thou shalt be a stay-at-home mom" or something like that.

Read the rest of "Why I'm at Home" on Boundless.org.

UPDATE: I have opened the comments function on this post.

The Economic Base of the Family

I'm headed to Charlotte, NC, today to speak at a women's conference at CrossWay Community Church. One of my topics will be about the history of domesticity and why there is tension in our culture today about the value of the home. I mentioned in a prior blog post that I was working on a chapter about this topic and an alert reader, Linda Bronkar, sent me this 1999 article by Nancy Pearcey titled, "Is Love Enough? Recreating the Economic Base of the Family."

If you recall, the Practical Issues for Godly Women series began with a question. Rebecca asked: "I understand homemaking is to be a priority for women, but is homemaking to be the only priority/purpose/what-have-you for a woman?" It's been a long, windy, and somewhat distracted road to get back to this particular question, but I wanted to explore some other "nooks and crannies" of biblical femininity before we circled back again to this topic.

So now that we are here, I want to link to this article because it does a stellar job of encapsulating all the research I've come across on the history of the home. (Wish I had found it first--it would have saved me a lot of time!) Here are two excerpts. The first addresses the family prior to the Industrial Revolution:

Colonial families lived much the way families have always lived in traditional societies. Prior to the 19th century, the vast majority of people in the world lived on farms or in peasant villages. Productive work was done in the home or its outbuildings, whether for subsistence or for sale. Work was done not by individuals, but by families. Stores, offices, and workshops were located in a front room, with living quarters either upstairs or in the rear. The boundaries of the home were fluid and permeable; the "world" entered continually in the form of clients, business colleagues, customers, and apprentices.

What did this integration of work and life mean for family relationships? For husband and wife, it meant they inhabited the same universe, working side by side in a common enterprise (though not necessarily in identical tasks). For the mother, the location of work within the home meant she was able to raise children while still participating in the family sustenance. Marriage in colonial times "meant to become a co-worker beside a husband, if necessary learning new skills in butchering, silversmith work, printing, or upholstering--whatever special skills the husband’s work required." Of course, women were also responsible for household tasks which required a wide range of skills: spinning wool and cotton; weaving it into cloth; sewing the family’s clothes; gardening and preserving   food; preparing meals without pre-processed ingredients; making soap, buttons, candles, medicines. Colonial mothers did not need to start a feminist movement to demand a role in economically productive work. Many of the goods used in colonial society were manufactured by women, doing the brainwork (planning and managing) as well as the handwork.

Fathers enjoyed the same integration of work and child rearing responsibilities.  Parenting was not, as today, almost exclusively the mother’s domain. Sermons, child-rearing manuals, and other prescriptive literature of the day addressed both parents, admonishing them to "raise up" their children together. When manuals did address one parent, it was usually the father, who was thought to be particularly important in religious and intellectual training. With productive endeavor centered on the family hearth, fathers were "a visible presence, year after year, day after day." They trained their children to work alongside them. "Fatherhood was thus an extension, if not an integral part, of much routine activity."

It took only 50 years to radically transform both our economy and our family life. The startling pace of the Industrial Revolution introduced breathtaking change from 1780 to 1830. In reaction to the harsh reality of the industrialized workforce, the home took on a special status as a "haven" in the early to mid-19th century--a period that created "the cult of domesticity." But, as Nancy Pearcey points out, it didn't last very long:

For all the glorification of the home during the height of the Cult of Domesticity, the stubborn fact remained that many important functions once performed in the home were now performed by other institutions. The family’s sustenance came from without; a husband’s wages, status, and professional friendships were all based on associations outside the home. For all the transcendent values associated with it, the home was becoming an adjunct to the "real" world outside.

Fewer people seemed to reverence those transcendent values anyway. After the   publication of Charles Darwin’s Origin of Species in 1859, evolutionism took over biology and the social sciences. With its implacable materialism, Darwinism undermined confidence in any transcendent truths. If home stood for the outmoded values of piety and religion, then the home itself was an outmoded institution.

Moreover, Social Darwinism took direct aim on the home by exalting the public sphere as the seat of evolutionary progress. Beginning with the assumption that men are superior to women, Social Darwinists like Herbert Spencer sought to explain why men had evolved faster. They proposed that, from their brute beginnings, males fought for survival out in the world and were thus subject to natural selection, a process that weeds out the weak and inferior. Women, at home nurturing the young, were out of reach of natural selection and hence evolved more slowly. What is significant is the contempt Social Darwinists expressed for both women’s  character and women’s environment (i.e., the home). Homelife was denounced as  a drag on evolutionary development.

As you would expect from her writing, Nancy Pearcey's article is dense with information and insights. I highly recommend that you continue reading "Is Love Enough? Recreating the Economic Base of the Family."

Consuming Media Wisely

This is a shout-out to my parents today. It's one of the "rise up and call them blessed" moments.

What I want to commend my parents for is the way they helped my sisters and me to wisely consume media. When we were younger we were only allowed one hour of television. Per week. I hate to highlight the trivia I wasted my hour on, but I certainly can't say my childhood was dinged because I couldn't see every cartoon or sitcom. When we did watch TV together, my father would often talk to us during the commercials about what we were watching, challenging the worldview of the programs or even sloppy continuity where the hero would take off in a small Cessna plane and land in a huge bomber--or some other ridiculous production error.

The rule would be relaxed if we were sick, which always makes me associate I Love Lucy with the stomach flu. In the days before three billion cable channels, you could always find endless daytime repeats of I Love Lucy.

What did we do, instead? We read. We built imaginary forts. We played outside. We made up games (as the oldest, I always won, of course). We mowed lawns to earn money for model horses. We babysat. We did gymnastics. We played in the band. We sketched out floor plans for dream houses. We pet-sat and played in the creek. We splashed in the pool until we were more wrinkled than raisins. (Hey! Don't act like I can't hear you whispering 'nerd"!)

Of course the irony is that my parents paid for my college degree in broadcast journalism and that I've spent all my adult life working in some form of media.

These days, when we all spend many more hours in front of a screen, I would argue we have a far greater need for discernment in our media habits. So when I came across this interview with Winston Smith, a faculty member of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF), I knew I want to share it with you, too. "Media on the Home Front" offers some practical ways that parents can equip their family to think accurately in response to media's powerful messages. Here's an excerpt:

Michele: How do I help my kids understand that what they see in the media-whether on TV, radio, movies, or magazines-often fails to reflect the negative consequences that result from our culture's version of success and happiness?

Winston: One of the things I ask my kids to notice is that all media is created by people who want to communicate what they think about life. Advertisers and marketers are all trying to convince you of something. I tell my kids that just because it's written down doesn't mean it's correct. There is wisdom in having a healthy skepticism. The value of this mental alertness is especially obvious in the case of television commercials, because advertisers simply want your money. The foundation for helping our youngsters develop their media antenna is to hone their understanding of the human heart. The Bible says we're all self-deceived. As people live out their belief systems in front of others, our kids need to understand that they're being exposed to someone's worldview, which is frequently inaccurate or skewed when lined up against the Bible.  Parents should try not to be reactionary. Rather, they should seek to gently challenge their kids to see what God's Word has to say about such messages. Society will tell us that the way to think more highly of yourself is to trust your heart. The Bible (in Proverbs 3:5) says the solution is to trust in the Lord. Parents will see the same media images and messages as their kids do and have impromptu conversations about these things along the way.

HT: Andy Farmer, The Family Life Blog

Tuesday Trivia

People have been sending me interesting tidbits--including links to new blogs--so today seemed like a good time to coin "Tuesday Trivia" and share the wealth. (Not that these items are trivial, of course...)

• I just found out that my first book, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred is about to be published in Russian. My publisher, Crossway, has also negotiated agreements to publish in Czech, Korean, and Portuguese--as well as English in the Philippines. Here's to hoping my American girly humor translates well!

• Last summer, I had the pleasure of meeting Erin Davis, the author of the blog for the new Lies Young Women Believe book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh. She's a brand-new mother and in a recent blog post, she wrote about the reactions to motherhood she has encountered among young women: "As I traveled the country to do research for 'Lies Young Women Believe,' I found countless young women who admitted that they didn’t feel free to pursue becoming wives and mothers as their primary purpose. The said things like, 'For me the whole family idea is kind of overrated,' and 'It is not about families and having kids anymore. Women are expected to have careers, too.' One young lady spelled it out in black and white. 'It has become uncool to want a husband and a family,' she announced." Obviously, Erin has a different view! Check it out...

• Peacemaker Ministries now has a new blog called Route 5:9. I was especially taken with a blog post about the Myth of Chronic Uniqueness and what that has to do with kindness. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." Read more on Route 5:9.

• I'm one of those sports-ignorant people who always opts out of the office pool for March Madness. But if you are into tracking brackets and prognosticating winners, check out Jesse Phillips' idea for Together 4 the Madness.

• In early January, I blogged about Modern Parables' Cinematic Theology. This week, Bill Seaver sent me the following update: "Modern Parables now has a digital download store where all of the Modern Parables lessons can be purchased individually either in DVD or HD quality. Each download includes the film, application video, director's commentary, and a combination of the student book and teacher's guide for those sessions as a PDF. As a way to let people see all the films for free we have versions available for iPods or to watch in iTunes. All the downloads are available at https://modernparable.com/digitals."

Enjoy your Tuesday! I'll be resuming the Practical Issues for Godly Women series in a day or two.