Sometimes when I speak to women about the issues surrounding feminism and biblical femininity, I receive questions about who is teaching men their corresponding roles. Who is teaching men how to be servant-leaders? I am happy to point to the teaching of men like my own boss, C.J. Mahaney, my pastor, Josh Harris, or other leaders such as John Piper, Wayne Grudem, Dennis Rainey, Bob Lepine, Al Mohler and many more. But recently I read an example of how this masculine mentoring happens on a more personal level.
One of the bloggers I follow, Justin Buzzard, wrote about the advice he received from an older man in his congregation upon the birth of his second son, Hudson:
...I am adding a prayer for your marriage. Clearly more stress and pressure will be applied with two young 'uns and all the great stuff you are involved in.
We talk about being "intentional" all the time. Over the next year you are really going to have to be intentional in putting Taylor's needs ahead of your own. She will be 24/7 putting the needs of two boys ahead of her wants, desires and needs...that's the just the way it is in this stage with multiple kids....so she is going to desperately need someone to pamper her and put her first...prioritize her.
Guess what? That is YOU. :) I know this sounds kind of like a raw deal (I mean, who is going to be pampering Justin?). But this is the Biblical model. Christ laid down his life so that He could present the church (bride) blameless. I think as men we have that same challenge. We need to be building into our wives by serving them, meeting their needs, putting them first in all things...that's how we lead them to a deeper relationship with Jesus.
Fight the very human desire to want something for yourself. When those thoughts come, try and transfer it to, "How can I take something off of Taylor's plate today?"
I know this may sound a bit brutal in lieu of all you have going on....but God made you strong for a purpose. He gave you an abundance of gifts for a purpose. And He has provided many friends to pray for you all for a purpose...
We may not always hear this kind of counsel, but it is out there. I share this with you today to encourage you that as we focus on the contributions and roles God has called us to do, He is also doing the same for our brothers in Christ.