Growing Up Female

(Though this is a blog post about young girls, it is not appropriate for young eyes to see.)

Depending on where she grows up in the world today, a young girl will receive radically different viewpoints on her virtue and sexuality.

If she grows up in the U.S. or many Western cultures, she will be awash in sexualized messages, clothing, and even entertainment--PG-13 movie ratings certainly assume a jaded, well-informed audience of 13-year-olds. If she is reached by many of Planned Parenthood's advertising campaigns, she will be "educated" in the most shocking and vulgar manner about sexuality, courtesy of our tax dollars. (A site created by Planned Parenthood designed to reach teens has a warning posted prior to entering that says: "Your reproductive health is important to us, and we want it to be important to you. That said, some of the content on this site is intended for mature teens and adults only." Having been warned about that content, I didn't visit it and I don't link to it for that reason, too. Reading the second-hand accounts of this "sexual health" advertising campaign was sufficiently appalling.) Yet, even when research shows the obvious link between the consumption of overly-sexualized media and teen pregnancy, we don't step back and say, "Hey, is there another way to go about this?" Instead, we talk about the purported failures of abstinence programs and throw up our hands in resignation. Our public policy is to hand out detailed instructions about the mechanics of sex, without providing any help to navigate the emotional and spiritual implications of all this activity.

On the other hand, if a girl grows up in some Islamic cultures, she will receive the opposite message about her sexuality. As reported in a disturbing article today in the Washington Post about female circumcision among Kurds in Iraq, "Kurds who support circumcising girls say the practice has two goals: It controls a woman's sexual desires, and it makes her spiritually clean so that others can eat the meals she prepares." According to this article, health experts say the procedure can result in adverse medical consequences for women, including infections, chronic pain and increased risks during childbirth. But not everyone seems to understand why it is done. According to the mother of a girl who had her daughter circumcised in front of a reporter:

"This is the practice of the Kurdish people for as long as anyone can remember," said the mother, Aisha Hameed, 30, a housewife in this ethnically mixed town about 100 miles north of Baghdad. "We don't know why we do it, but we will never stop because Islam and our elders require it."

Fortunately, that is not entirely true. The Post reports that "one of the religious leaders who have been less vocal in demanding female circumcisions is Hama Ameen Abdul Kader Hussein, preacher at the Grand Mosque of Kalar and head of the clergymen's union in Germian. Previously, he preached that female circumcision was required. Now he says it is optional, which Hussein believes has caused the area's rate of female circumcision to drop from 100 percent to about 50 percent."

While we in the West read articles like these with revulsion and concern (and rightly so), many cultures in the East are equally revulsed by the flood of semi-pornographic images coming from our mainstream media (and they have a valid point). The divergence of opinion and perspective is wide, even in a world where travel and communication have bridged the gap between cultures.

 

But there is hope. Between license and legalism lies the gospel. We were given bodies by our Creator that are sexual. He created sex--God is not surprised by this; it was His idea. It is a powerful gift, one that draws two independent, self-centered beings toward each other. But like anything that is powerful, its misuse also breeds problems and misery. When our Savior walked the earth, He did not require mutilation to control women. In fact, He extended grace to a woman caught in the sin of adultery, forcing her accusers to recognize their own hypocrisy and sinfulness. Yet, He did not hand her a bunch of sex education materials and tell her to go enjoy herself without concern. No, He said, "Go, and from now on, sin no more." 

 

Titus 2 requires older women to instruct younger women in how to love their husbands--the full-orbed definition of love. Therefore, given our global culture, we need to make sure the younger women around us hear a gospel-centered message about their sexuality and what it means to love their husbands--before, during, and after marriage. We need to understand the cultural context of these young women's assumptions and we need to aim for the grace and truth modeled by our Lord in the face of sexual sin, theirs or what is imposed upon them. We cannot be squeamish about this topic in a world that desperately needs to hear the redemptive words of our Creator and Savior.

 

Photo from Andrea Bruce of the Washington Post: Kurdish girls wait for a promised party, one that materializes quite differently from their expectations.

 

Comments

[Emily (Unfurling Flower)]

Amen and amen! Thank you for writing this Carolyn, and thank you for being a voice to speak up for "this topic in a world that desperately needs to hear the redemptive words of our Creator and Savior."

[Christina]

It's disconcerting, all the chaos surrounding girls as they grow up and try to understand who they were meant to be... No matter where you go in the world, the world has found a way to abuse its women (any departure from God's plan for us is abuse!), but it is SUCH a relief to know there is an entire nation fighting for a womanhood that brings joy - the nation of God's people. I thank God He has shown me how much of my own culture is a lie already.

I was curious, what do you mean by loving their husbands "after" marriage?

[Carolyn]

Good question, Christina. When a woman is not married any longer (say, a widow), she is still biblically required to avoid sexual immorality. She may remarry, if it's the Lord's will, and if so, her faithfulness to God's command as a widow is part of loving her new husband--as well as loving Jesus!

[Kristin]

This was a great post! Thank you!

[Colleen]

Thanks for your post. I live with the Kurds in Northern Iraq. This kind of thing isn't much talked about and I've always wondered if it was as widespread there as it is in other Islamic areas. Please keep praying!

[Sarah]

I SO agree. I work with college students and have been stunned and heartbroken over the confusion they face in these issues.