Hope in Bittersweet Holidays

Today is the death anniversary of a friend I never met. I've only been able to know him through his widow, a woman who became a friend of mine ten years ago. Through her, I've come to understand the importance of death anniversaries and what a brief note marking the day means to those who grieve less with each passing year. His death anniversary always casts a melancholy shadow on the holiday for her--just as it does for the legions of people who have bittersweet memories around the holidays. How hollow the Santa-driven commercialism of Christmas must strike those who grieve without any gospel hope. However, for those who understand that Christmas is about the incarnation of hope, grief is replaced with faith.

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, emphasis mine)

Christmas is ultimately about the One who was born into our world to become the suffering servant who would pay for the sins of those He came to save. Jesus' entire life was bittersweet, in some ways. But for the joy set before Him, He was willing to endure the cross and its suffering and shame. What makes absolutely no sense to us prior to conversion is the very emblem of hope in our trials great and small. But we must ground ourselves in that truth or our circumstances will threaten to overwhelm that hope. Here is how one father anchored himself to divine love. It is from Henry Blackaby 's book, Experiencing God:

When one of my children could not get his own way, he used to say, "You don't love me." Was that true? No, my love had not changed. At that moment, however, my love was expressing itself differently than he wanted it to.

When our only daughter, Carrie, was 16, the doctors told us she had an advanced case of cancer. We had to take her through chemotherapy and radiation. We suffered along with Carrie as we watched her experience the severe sickness that accompanies the treatments. Some people face such an experience by blaming God and questioning why He doesn't love them anymore. Carrie's cancer treatments could have been a devastating experience for us. Did God still love us? Yes. Had His love changed? No, He still cared for us with an infinite love.

When you face circumstances like this, you can ask God to explain what is happening. We did that. We asked Him what we should do. I raised all of those questions, but I never said, "Lord, I guess You don't love me."

Long before this experience with Carrie, I had made a determination: no matter what my circumstances, I would never look at my situation except against the backdrop of the cross. In the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God forever convinced me that He loved me. For this reason during Carrie's illness I could go before the Heavenly Father and see behind my daughter the cross of Jesus Christ. I said, "Father, don't ever let me look at my life and question Your love for me. Your love for me was settled on the cross. That has never changed and will never change." Our love relationship with the Heavenly Father sustained us through an extremely difficult time.

No matter what your circumstances are, God's love never changes. The cross, the death of Jesus Christ, and His resurrection are God's final, total, and complete expression that He loves you. Never allow your heart to question God's love. Settle it on the front end of your desire to know Him and experience Him. He loves you. He created you for a love relationship. He has been pursuing you in that love relationship. Every encounter He has with you is an expression of His love for you. God would cease to be God if He expressed Himself in any way other than perfect love!

Our sinful nature led to the Fall and the trials of living in a corrupted world. But one day two thousand years ago, the promise of a Savior was fulfilled as a tiny baby boy burst into our world. We have a Savior who knows what it is like to walk in our shoes ... and then triumph over death, the penalty for our sins. His triumph does not mean our trials are over in this life, but they are most certainly driving to a glorious conclusion. Let us fix our eyes on that certainty, instead of the momentary tribulations of this brief life.