Ministry to Caregivers

Whenever I talk about the importance of the private sphere--the intangible web of relationships and influence that finds its heart in the home--I often mention that with the growing number of seniors in our world, we in the church need to start planning for this looming ministry need. And it's not just ministry to seniors themselves. It's also ministry to their caregivers. 

As the Washington Post reported yesterday, "Assistance for frail elders comes, the majority of the time, from a single individual. More specifically, from a woman: Seven of every 10 adult children who help frail parents are daughters."

It seems to me that relieving caregivers could be a significant aspect of any church's women's ministry. If women live longer than men and if women do most of the caregiving for the elderly, then it's a women's ministry issue from both sides of the issue. 

In an essay titled "Their Parents' Keepers," Paula Span wrote that women caregivers are still shouldering the burden, even though many are now employed:

We step up though most of us have jobs. For years, economists warned that women entering the work force would become unavailable as unpaid caregivers for the elderly. Plausible -- but untrue. Family caregiving continues at high levels, though more than half of adult children who help elderly parents also work full time, and 10 percent part time.

That can exact a steep toll. Most caregivers with jobs report sometimes having to arrive late or leave early; smaller proportions take leaves, cut back to part-time schedules or turn down promotions. A few even give up their jobs.

Nevertheless, "work doesn't seem to reduce caregiving much," Urban Institute researcher Richard Johnson says. Relatives "just do it. They suck it up. They make the sacrifices."

We step up despite the expense. The out-of-pocket costs of caring for older adults average more than $5,500 a year, a recent national survey found, causing about a third of caregivers to dip into their savings, cut back on home maintenance, or reduce saving for their own futures.

We step up even if we have children at home. Boomers deferred childbearing, so they can have dependents at both ends of the age spectrum -- the sandwich generation.

We step up even if we're elderly ourselves. Most adult children caring for parents are in their 40s and 50s. But seniors' lengthening life spans and declining disability rates mean that by the time they need our help, we may be close to or in retirement.

It's a good thing we do step up. Attempting to pay for the hours that families voluntarily devote to caregiving, which AARP valued at $350 billion in 2006, would break the national treasury. "Family caregiving is essential," Feinberg says. "And under-recognized."

Two heroines in the sandwich generation are my sisters. They have each added caring for their mothers-in-law to their own active family's needs. I marvel at them, having some idea of the personal costs involved. Maybe it's listening to them and other friends who are in the same caregiving season that has made me think about this issue. But I'd be curious to know what your churches are doing. Do you have a caregivers' ministry in place? If so, what does it look like and how does it function? What about a seniors ministry?  And if you're a caregiver, what kind of ministry would be most helpful to you?

Leave a comment and let's see what we can learn from each other.

Comments

[Susan Neely]

Thank you for bringing this subject to the front as a responsibility of the church body.
I cared for my Mom at my own home for 4 years including the last very difficult year that I assumed would only be a couple of months when the sojourn started. I had to quit work and got only negative support from my family and church. Only a few friends stood by when I needed prayer.
Although my financial needs were not small, it was interesting that it was the Chinese spiritual children from Hong Kong who were almost the only ones to help me. She had been a missionary,there.
I lost my home and would be homeless,now, were it not for a sister in Christ who is closer than my own sister.
I have been a widow for 30 years and now feel called to the mission of the city of Philadelphia. It is a mission field to the world within a few square miles. My profession is gone, my stuff is gone BUT my hope in the Lord is more viable than ever.
I am thankful for the time I was fortunate to spend with my MOM and look forward to seeing her again in the presence of the Lord!

[Kathleen]

Thank you for this article! I am looking forward to reading the comments and getting more information from a biblical perspective.

We just built an addition onto our house for my mother-in-law, and we feel very overwhelmed by this responsibility sometimes. My husband and I are in our early thirties, and we have four very young children. He's the youngest child, so his mother is much older than mine. All this to say, there is not much out there on caring for parents and small children (or any children!) at the same time. Most of our friends have no idea what it was like to lose a parent, much less take on the care of an aging one. So this post touches my heart.

I really enjoy reading your blog. Thank you for the encouragement that it always brings.
Kathleen

[Bethanne]

Thanks so much for this article. Just a week ago we buried my grandma who had lived with us for nearly 4 years. These past 9 months required 24/7 care. My mom was the chief care giver to her mother in law while also caring for her mom who lives in a nursing home. She also mothered me her only child at of her 6. And made time for her 17 grand children and many other things.

I'm not sure if it is common but I would love to see more articles and advice out there for teens who's parents are caring for their grandparents. I had just graduated from high school when grandma's care became full time because of a fall.

I would not trade this experience for anything but there were some difficult times. Some day I hope others can learn from my story

I don't know what could have helped. I think it would have been more encouraging if my grandma would have received more visitors. As it was her pastor didn't even make it once a month. There were times when a meal would have been much appreciated. It's hard to say for every situation is different. I was able to take care of the house and cooking for my mom but others might not have that help and might appreciate some help.

I rejoice today that after 96 years of life my grandma is in the Lord's presence. I feel selfish for wanting her here when never before has she been so happy.

Thanks again for the article. Often a caregiver can feel forgotten in the midst of other things in life.

[J.R. Miller]

Good post. I have some dear friends who are caregivers to several handicapped children. Mnistering to these wonderful people is a blessing.

My name is Joe. This is my first visit here and I came to your website through CBMW blog. I will bookmakr and read along. Please feel free to visit sometime at my blog as well, "More Than Cake"

www.MoreThanCake.org