Steve & Candice Watters: Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies
This is an engaging book written to help young adults take an intentional path toward starting a family. Citing Scripture, trends, and history, the Watters dig into some of our cultural assumptions to hold up a mirror to our behaviors and thought patterns in light of God's purposes for families.
Iain M. Duguid: Daniel (Reformed Expository Commentary)
Iain Duguid writes eminently readable commentaries that overflow with profound observations. This edition is no different. As an Old Testament scholar, Duguid presents the Scriptures in an authoritative, yet accessible style. Each chapter can be read alone in narrative style or as a Bible study aid.
Joshua Harris: Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World
Everyone struggles with sinful sexual temptation. Everyone. So what can you do about it? Josh Harris candidly explains how to untangle God's good gift of sex from the issues of lust and sexual sin. A great book for both men and women!
Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, Janelle Bradshaw: Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed
This is a short book with a lot of wisdom. At under 100 pages, it won't take a lot of time to read. But the eternal perspective on time management that it contains will be well worth the investment.
Dave Harvey: When Sinners Say "I Do": Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage
Dave brings a humorous and light touch to a heavy subject, creating a winsome and appealing approach to an important topic. Dave spends the first four chapters addressing the doctrine of sin and why we need to have a healthy suspicion of our own hearts and motives before seeking to address the hearts and motives of others. But some of the greatest "gold" is found in chapters five and six, when Dave addresses mercy and forgiveness. Recommended for everyone--you don't need to be married to learn from this book how to live redemptively in close relationships.
John Ensor: Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart
A basic, user-friendly guide on the weighty matters of romance and the roles of men and women. Highly readable, concise guidance on how men and women can find lasting romance and enduring friendships.
Timothy S. Lane and Paul D. Tripp: How People Change
This book helps Christians understand the roots of problems that are bearing bad fruit in their lives. Then it shows how the gospel can exchange bad roots for good roots--and good fruit. A gracious and encouraging book for anyone weary of trying to change through sheer willpower alone.
Tim Lane and Paul Tripp: Relationships: A Mess Worth Making
I love this title! The mess is because of our sin and self-centered drives. The worth comes from what God is doing among our relationships. There are so many excellent insights in this book--I recommend it for everyone. Though we tend to think romance when we hear the word "relationship," this book addresses a far broader scope with graciousness and biblical truth.
Gary & Betsy Ricucci: Love That Lasts: When Grace Meets Marriage
This is the second edition of a book I first read as a new believer. It was the first book I ever read on marriage and its gracious and encouraging approach made an indelible mark. This revised edition is even meatier and more winsome than the first. Highly recommended for singles and marrieds alike.
C. H. Spurgeon: The Triumph of Faith in a Believer's Life
This collection of Spurgeon's writings spans faith's sure foundations to what mature faith looks like. It is both inspiring and practical, and will revive the flickering embers of faith in any reader's soul.
Henry T. Blackaby, Richard Blackaby: Hearing God's Voice
This book expands on many of the principles found in Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby's highly successful book from the mid-'90s. It reminds us that we are here to serve God's purposes and not vice versa, so our prayers should be conformed the same way. The authors help us to discern the voice of God, to identify ways He speaks, and to respond to revelations of His will. An ideal book for those who are seeking God for direction and guidance.
C.J. Mahaney: Living the Cross-Centered Life
It seems that there are many ideas that compete for the attention of single adults. In the end, what we will be commended for has nothing to do with having a 'successful' dating life, a great career, the ability to travel widely, or to own a lot of expensive possessions. It has to do with hearing, 'Well done, good and faithful servant.' This little book keeps us all focused on the One who is our mediator. An outstanding resource for any Christian who feels caught in the "performance trap."
John Piper: God Is the Gospel: Meditations on God's Love As the Gift of Himself
This compact book argues eloquently that the good news of the Gospel is all the things we normally assume--salvation, justification, propitiation, new heavens and new earth, etc. But the heart of the Gospel is not found in the gifts of God but in God Himself. The good news of the gospel is the enjoyment of the glory of God in Christ. Recommended especially for long-time Christians who may need to be refreshed in the wonder of the Gospel.
John MacArthur: NASB MacArthur Study Bible
This is the revised edition of Dr. MacArthur's study notes and commentary within the NASB translation. This Bible includes additional supplements on topics such as how we got the Bible, how to study the Bible, and the progress of revelation. An excellent personal study Bible!
Paul David Tripp: Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens
Do you think rebellion is automatic in the teen years? It shouldn't be. Paul Tripp's book challenges our assumptions and shows parents how to make the teen years a season of opportunity, instead.
Mark Dever: The Message of the New Testament: Promises Kept
What a priceless Bible study tool this is! Though Mark is a superb scholar, his evangelist's heart is clearly evident in his accessible writing style. This book is packed with outstanding teaching but it is written in a winsome manner that is free of dense theological terms. The goal of this book is to present an overview of each book of the New Testament so that we can understand how it fits in with the rest of the Bible.
John MacArthur: Twelve Extraordinary Women
The women MacArthur chose as subjects for this book are: Eve, Sarah, Rahab, Ruth, Hannah, Mary, Anna, The Samaritan Woman, Martha and Mary, Mary Magdalene and Lydia. Each chapter goes into the cultural and theological background of these women and then shows how God worked through ordinary women to make their faith and fruit extraordinary. Highly recommended!
Nancy Leigh DeMoss, editor: Biblical Womanhood in the Home (Foundations for the Family Series)
This book collects chapters from several leading women writers and teachers to address a wide array of topics concerning biblical womanhood. I'm partial to Carolyn Mahaney's two chapters on femininity and beauty, but I also highly recommend Nancy Leigh DeMoss's two chapters on the portraits of a wise and foolish woman.
Tedd Tripp: Shepherding A Child's Heart
Every adult should read this book, but it's a Must for parents. As you'll soon read in this valuable book, parenting is not about behavior modification--it's about reaching the heart of children so they understand their motives, their sinfulness, and ultimately their need for a Savior.
Sinclair Ferguson: Discovering God's Will
The counsel contained in this slim volume is timeless. Nine chapters comprise the book: God's Ultimate Purpose, Guidelines for Guidance, Guarding the Heart, A Christian Lifestyle, Principles of Conduct, Consider Your Calling, Marriage?, Wait for the Lord, and He Leads Me. The last four chapters are priceless, but they need to be read on the foundation of the teaching in the earlier chapters.
C.J. Mahaney: Humility: True Greatness
This small book packs a wallop. C.J. starts by showing us why God opposes the proud and is drawn to the humble. Then he illustrates how to cultivate humility in many practical ways. From chapters on The Promise of Humility and The Perils of Pride, to Identifying Evidences of Grace and Responding Humbly to Trials, this is a book of seasoned wisdom.
Randy Newman: Questioning Evangelism
This book helps us understand how to ask questions of unbelievers to expose their assumptions about God and get to the heart of their questions--rather than getting sidetracked in our conversations. I'm still reading this book, so I'll add more commentary when I'm finished. But the fact that my pastor recommended it was all I needed to buy it!
Randy Alcorn: Money, Possessions & Eternity
Here is a comprehensive study of what the Scriptures teach about earning, spending, saving, and investing money. Randy is a gracious writer with a personal testimony of living what he has written. It's a big book, but well worth the investment to purchase and read it.
Randy Alcorn: Safely Home
This is a fictional account of a Christian persecuted for his faith in China, but Randy Alcorn has done his homework. You'll learn a lot about the reality of Christianity in China through reading Safely Home. But you won't be able to read it flippantly. Well-crafted, well-developed, and moving--I highly recommend it.
Wayne Grudem: Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth
While Mary Kassian's book (below) is a great sociological examination of the impact of second-wave feminism on our culture, Wayne Grudem's book is a detailed look at the claims of evangelical feminists against the teaching of Scripture. An excellent theological resource, written in a thorough yet humble manner. This is a life's work from Dr. Grudem and well worth having in your own personal library.
Mary Kassian: The Feminist Mistake
This book is subtitled "The Radical Impact of Feminism on Church and Culture." It's an in-depth, academic overview of the impact of what's been called second-wave feminism, spanning 1960s to 1990 or so. As a former feminist, it was eye-opening to read an historical account about the era in which I grew up. Kassian is a thorough writer, and her writing and research underscores one essential point: When you start by disregarding one aspect of the Bible's teaching, it's a short ride down a slippery slope to discarding Christianity altogether. A sobering read.
Arthur Bennett, editor: The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions
I once read that the public prayers of Christians today are anemic and repetitive. That charge may be true. If so, this book could be a remedy. It is a collection of Puritan prayers and devotions, organized by theme. This is one of my favorite tools in my personal devotions. I enjoy reading these prayers aloud, for their vocabulary and grammar force me to slowly savor their meaning. I am not praying aloud these days with the Puritan "thee" and "thou," but I do remember their concepts and try to incorporate their ideas into my prayers. As one writer here stated, "We ask great things of a great God." That's as true today as it was 400 years ago.
John Piper: When I Don’t Desire God: How To Fight For Joy
Joy doesn't just happen. It's a fight for most Christians. And this book is an excellent guide for both why and how. An excellent resource for Christians who have grown weary and/or rusty in their personal devotions.
R. C. Sproul, editor: The Reformation Study Bible
This is the English Standard Version Bible with study notes from contributors such as Wayne Grudem, Sinclair Ferguson, Bruce Waltke, Graeme Goldsworthy, and James Boice. It's the version I currently use for personal study.
Jonathan Edwards: Charity and Its Fruits
Charity is the old-fashioned word for love. This book is a collection of sermons from Jonathan Edwards from the mid-1700s. It's not a fast read, but it's worth the work to plumb the concept of Christian love as understood in another era by a formidable theologian.
Gary Thomas: Sacred Marriage
Gary asks the book's central question in its subtitle: What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? In this book, Gary looks at marriage as a spiritual discipline, examining how marriage is one way God conforms us to the image of Christ. Many of my newly married friends have found this book to be quite helpful.
Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre: Girl Talk
This book, written by a mother-daughter duo, is for both mothers and daughters to go through together. It's subtitled "Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood." I've given many copies away to mothers. But I've also heard of single fathers going through the book with their daughters. No matter how it's done, the point of the book is to disciple pre-teen and teen girls about biblical womanhood. It's an outstanding and winsomely-written book.
Lies Women Believe: Nancy Leigh DeMoss
The subtitle is, "And the Truth that sets them free," which is really the focus of this succinct yet wide-ranging book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Tackling lies we can believe about God, ourselves, sin, priorities, marriage, children, emotions, and circumstances, there is plenty here to challenge our current thinking and replace it with truth from God's Word.
Noel Piper: Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God
This book profiles five women who lived courageous, fruitful lives from the 1700s on. Four of the five were single women, a fact that was not lost on me. A book that will provoke you to examine your own life. Highly recommended!
Elizabeth George: Loving God with All Your Mind
By going through Philippians 4:8, Elizabeth George teaches us how to think thoughts about God and others that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and excellent. An excellent book for women who wrestle with sinful judgments of others (suspicion, insecurity, and critical attitudes).
Edward T. Welch: Depression: A Stubborn Darkness
Everyone wrestles with depression at various times and in varying degrees, and this book is an outstanding resource for defeating it. Ed Welch writes with such compassion and clarity, yet with firm conviction in the sufficiency of God's Word. Each chapter tackles different manifestations of depression and assigns helpful "homework" assignments for overcoming depression. The book closes with advice to friends and family members of those who suffer from more severe depression.
John Piper: Don't Waste Your Life
It seems that John Piper writes books faster than I can read them. This is one of his more accessible books and it makes a strong argument for living wisely in light of eternity.
Joni Eareckson Tada, Steven Estes: When God Weeps
This powerful book explores the issue of suffering. Joni writes elegantly of her personal trials as a quadriplegic, and Steve Estes adds a pastoral voice and perspective about God's character. Includes one of the most powerful chapters about the crucifixion that I've ever read. It will take your breath away--if you can still read it through your tears.
Jerry Bridges: Trusting God
In the end, the Christian life boils down to one simple element: trusting God. In this classic book, Jerry Bridges writes clearly and pointedly about what we must do to grow in our relationship with God and to trust Him unreservedly.
Edward T. Welch: When People Are Big and God Is Small
There's a lot of talk these days about peer pressure and co-dependency. The Bible calls it "fear of man," which includes both being afraid of people and craving their approval. EVERYONE is affected by this sin tendency, and in this book Ed Welch wipes aside the murk and provides a shining view of God's grace. One of the most significant books in my life. A Must Read for singles!
Ken Sande: The Peacemaker
When conflict arises in your life, do you ever see it as an opportunity to glorify God? You will after you read this book. Ken Sande provides clear, biblically-based thinking on conflict resolution.
Charles Spurgeon, Roy H. Clarke: Beside Still Waters
This daily devotional features a collection of C.H. Spurgeon's writings on suffering, faith, and perseverance in trials. My copy is exceedingly highlighted. Recommended for every Christian, but especially for those whose faith is flagging due to trials or disappointments.
Joshua Harris: Boy Meets Girl
This is my favorite Josh Harris book. I highly recommend chapter ten, "When Your Past Comes Knocking," for those wrestling with past sexual sin. Josh candidly explores how to experience God's forgiveness, both to receive yourself and to extend to others.
Matthew Henry: The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit (Puritan Writings)
It's good to read authors from different centuries, just to shake out the 21st-century ideas and tap into some timeless wisdom. Though this book requires some concentration to read, there is nothing else like it for learning to subdue your passions and cultivate contentment.
Paul Tripp: War of Words
You know the old saying--women use WAY more words in any given day than men do. That's why this is a Must Read for every woman. The subtitle says it all: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles.
Paul Tripp: Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands
Have you ever found yourself at a loss to try to help or counsel someone else? Have you been too critical? Too impatient? Too disinterested? This book shows people in need of change how to help people who need change. It's a roadmap for grace when sinners counsel other sinners.
Paul Tripp: Lost in the Middle
The subtitle is "Midlife and the Grace of God." An outstanding book! Don't let the "midlife" label turn you away. It will give you a Godward perspective whether you are tempted by a "quarter-life" crisis, "thirtysomething" crisis, or a full-blown "buy the Corvette and get a face lift" midlife crisis. A "crisis" is really just God showing us we've been putting our hopes into something other than Him. Paul Tripp challenges us to examine the harvest from our lives and not give up hope for planting a newer, more fruitful one in the future.
Joshua Harris: Stop Dating the Church
You may be experiencing a "lack of commitment" in many areas of your life, but there's one area for Christians that shouldn't be affected: commitment to the church. Not convinced? Read this book.
John Piper, Justin Taylor: Sex and the Supremacy of Christ
This book is a compilation of messages given at the 2005 Desiring God National Conference. In our sex-saturated society, this book is important for singles to read--not only because there are specific chapters included for single men and women--but because throughout the book God's glory is promoted and His original purpose for sex is celebrated without shame.
C.J. Mahaney: Sex, Romance and the Glory of God
This is a Must Read for married men and those about to get married. I would even recommend it for single men who have converted as adults and who need to find a biblically-oriented guide to what God really intended in the gift of sex.
Carolyn Mahaney: Feminine Appeal
Many single women have asked me what books they should be reading in order to prepare for marriage--or even to better understand marriage in order to relate to their married friends. This is one of the Must Reads. Based on the principles found in Titus 2, Carolyn Mahaney addresses the virtues that all godly women (married and single) should emulate.
Carolyn McCulley: Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?
Of course I have to plug my own book. But remember, the title is a question, not a statement! The subtitle is the heart of the book: Trusting God with a Hope Deferred. A book for single women of all ages who want to understand what biblical femininity looks like for an umarried woman.
So true. At first, my husband age (he's younger) made me doubt that he could possibility. Good thing God changed my mind! We've now been married five wonderful years.
Posted by: Danielle | June 19, 2009 at 07:26 AM
Totally "got" the bit where they talked about single women in their 30's considering relationships with younger guys because the ones our own age tend to have a lot of issues and baggage that they're still sorting through.
Loved it when Lisa said that she and her other single girlfriends keep reminding each other not to be "those" bitter single women! I need that reminder every day.
Posted by: Carrie | June 19, 2009 at 08:57 AM
My husband is just over a decade my senior ... but other than joking around it rarely makes a difference. If anything, I think it makes our relationship better, as he has a bit more wisdom and experience ... all the better to lead a rather spunky wife.
Posted by: Karen | June 19, 2009 at 10:50 AM
Particularly liked the reminder about not focusing on earning. Women complain so much about the focus on our looks, but I sometimes think men must feel like walking wallets.
Posted by: Sally | June 19, 2009 at 04:11 PM
My soon-to-be husband is several years younger than me, and he's more mature than a lot of guys I know in their 30's. Younger guys can surprise you for sure!
Posted by: Sharon Hodde | June 19, 2009 at 11:40 PM
It's so true. :) What's more important is the person.
Posted by: Sarah A | June 20, 2009 at 05:15 AM
My wife is 2 years older than I am. Of course, that is not much of an age difference. We are approaching our 16th anniversary in September; and I agree with those who advise singles to look for someone of character and faith when looking for a spouse. It makes all the difference.
Posted by: Terry | June 20, 2009 at 03:21 PM
I always thought I would end up with someone older than me. It always seemed more romantic to me somehow to end up with a wiser, older man. Then my now-husband caught my eye. At the time, he was interning at our church, and there was a bulletin board with the guys' profiles on it (including their ages). When we started talking more and more, and a relationship began to form, I remembered the bulletin board, and hoped that I had read his age wrong! :-)
When we were married, I was 27 (one month away from 28), and he was 23. (I'm now 30, and he's about to turn 26 in a week.) We're four and a half years apart, but age has never really been an issue. He's mature, and we're a great fit in so many ways. I never really struggled with his age when we were dating since he defied my expectations of younger guys.
The only area in which I've felt it since our marriage is that my biological clock ticks more loudly in my ears than in his! :-) I absolutely love having time in our marriage with just him and me and I don't want to rush it, but I think I do feel the tension of when to have kids more than he does. If I was his same age, I wonder if I would feel the same tension. But I do remind myself often that the Lord knew I would be older than my husband and that I would marry relatively later, so I do trust in his plan for our family.
Posted by: Andrea C. | June 23, 2009 at 11:09 AM
Hey Carolyn!
My fianceé (the wedding is July 11th....yes, 16 days from now) is six years older than me. The pastor who did my premarital counseling - his wife is five years older than him. One of my good friends is 17 years the senior of his wife. God takes His time in crafting the right people for the right people....and it almost NEVER looks like what you WANT, but it's always exactly what you NEED.
Posted by: BlackCalvinist | June 25, 2009 at 09:57 AM
My husband is ten years older than me. Some people *gasped* when they heard we were getting married, but we were 100% sure that it was God's will for us. His hand had orchestrated the entire relationship from the beginning. We fell in love with each other's hearts, and that is where it all started. We are each other's best friend, and we never even think about the age difference. We love each other fully & completely; age is just a detail.
Posted by: Anne | June 25, 2009 at 04:36 PM
I am a whopping 6 months older than my husband, but he was light years ahead of me maturity wise. I am so thankful the Lord brought him into my life and grew me up in the process.
~Amy
Posted by: Amy | June 27, 2009 at 11:15 PM
Hallelujah! Recently God has been challenging my thinking about dating younger guys through several different means. Your blog is yet another example of why women (i.e. ME) need to be more open toward the circumstances and relationships the Lord may bring into our lives.
My younger sister by 6 years better watch out...
Your friend Michelle Renee in Minneapolis ;)
Posted by: Michelle Renee Lamont | July 01, 2009 at 06:14 PM
'I walked away from our discussion with this: In the search for a godly mate, keep an open mind. Don't focus on incidentals, such as age, social status or career success. Instead, concentrate on the person. Is he or she godly? Are the two of you compatible? Do you see evidence that God is confirming the relationship?'
Wise words. I have found that in the evangelical church some (not all) are far too focused on age and social status issues.
Posted by: russ (thekingpin68/satire and theology blogs) | July 14, 2009 at 03:37 AM