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July 28, 2009


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I LOVED this article. Insightful and so funny!! Especially humorous to me because I just returned from a weekend trip with the Young Adults group from my church. Somehow, one of the many conversations about relationships turned into a bet. Yes, a BET. The guys, including my brother (all seriously other Godly young women) decided to make it their mission to find me a husband. I'm certainly not arguing with that! ;) The humor continued and now the bet is as such, I must pay $50 to the person who introduces me to the man I marry!!... I figure, if it takes a lighthearted bet to remind people to make introductions among fellow believers (for the purpose of marriage!), I am cool with that!


Great post, Carolyn! My husband and I are having two single friends over in September to meet each other. We've tried before with this particular guy and another woman, but that didn't pan out. But we're definitely open to being available for this ministry whenever the Lord seems to open a door for it. My husband and I are still thankful for the mutual friend who helps us to get together near six years ago.


I love your idea!!! My husband and I were "set up" under similar circumstances by some seminary friends. We had been discussing the role of the Christian community in matchmaking and agreed that it just made better sense to introduce people we thought would be good matches than to leave it with a more "hands off" approach and end up counseling folks who were in bad relationships later. Admittedly, they were not the greatest of "crush catalysts", but my husband and I were married 2 yrs after they introduced us :)


I greatly enjoyed and appreciated your article on Boundless today. It's a great idea that I wish someone would try on me! :) But in all seriousness, I think it's a privilege to be able to, as a single woman, encourage and help move my friends and siblings along toward marriage, whether it is introducing them to other singles or supporting them in the relationships they are already in. Thanks for the good reminder.


Great post as always Caroline! I love reading about your way of approaching things - great food for thought and encouragement for all singles


Carolyn, thanks so much for this thoughtful and challenging article! Nothing is as serious as those things said in jest and you've nailed perfectly here by infusing humor into a serious call to action. I had a conversation with a married friend a week ago about the single men in my church and their general bent toward being passive. One single gentleman in particular came up in our conversation. He serves with my friend's husband and is one of the kindest souls you'll ever meet. He wants very much to be married but to my knowledge, hasn't dated anyone in the recent past. My friend and her husband were pulling into the parking lot at church one Sunday and observed this brother directing cars (he's a very faithful usher, serving wherever needed). Her husband asked, "Don't you know anyone you can introduce him to?" She snapped back, "Do I know anyone? He better get busy and start asking some of the ladies around here out on dates!" While I agreed with her that this sweet man needed to be a bit more "aggressive" in his pursuit, I couldn't resist gently asking her if perhaps she did know someone that might be nice for him to meet and if she did, why wouldn't she make an effort to help make an introduction or a match, much in the way you described. "What would be the harm?" I asked. She thoughtfully said, "Well, I guess I could..." The conversation revealed that for some marrieds (and many singles, I suspect), the idea of helping single people connect never occurs to them. I'm an older single so most of my friends are married. In the 12 years I've attended my church, no one has ever attempted to "match me up" -- kind of sad when I think about it. But, Carolyn, your article is a challenge to me because I don't know that I've ever made the effort on behalf of another. I have to admit, I admire you so much for serving singles like yourself in this way when I would guess it would be very nice for someone to serve you by being a "crush catlyst" on your behalf. I'm going to take a page from your book, set fear aside, and look/pray for an opportunity to support singles in this way. Thanks again for bringing this challenge!


I totally agree! If your church 'family' isn't going to help set you up, who will? I just went on a blind date and though nothing will come of it, I was glad that after 5 years of hearing about this fellow that we actually got to meet! There is nothing worse than hearing "Oh I know someone"... I always wonder what I'm supposed to do with that as I'm not going to take the first step in calling them. Or the other great one is when someone new (and apparently single) comes to church and EVERYONE comes to tell me that there is a single man there. What am I supposed to do? Through myself at his feet till he agrees to marry me? (I said this to someone once and she was taken aback... she was the 5th person that night to tell me that a stranger was single). I think it is great for pastors - who know more people - to get involved too. Who better to look after the important issues? Keep up the good work!


Thanks for the great article, Carolyn! True. I wish more married people would read this and put it into practice rather than always asking, "No boys chasing you yet?"

Jakeb Brasee

Whoa, I just stumbled across this blog today AFTER reading the article on Boundless...for a second I was thinking "Hey this blog is stealing things from Boundless!!! >_<"

and then I realized "oh wait..."



Is there ever a time when we should "give up hope" as singles and just relegate to the fact that God may have something different in store? I used to think that was at 25 (how young!), then 30, then 35, then 40....Now I'm not sure.


Loved this post... so funny and true.

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