Q&A on Focus on the Family

One of the benefits to recording a program so far in advance is that you can completely forget what you said. That was the case this morning as I listened to the final installment in the three-part series about singleness on Focus on the Family. This program was the Q&A portion of the interview, where both Dr. Dobson and the audience asked some direct and sometimes poignant questions of Candice Watters and me. 

My favorite moment was when Dr. Dobson asked me how I handle going out in public without a date. I had totally forgotten he asked me this when we recorded these programs last April. So as I stood in the kitchen listening to this show, I found myself pausing with my coffee spoon in mid-air, wondering what I said in response. Wow. What an awkward moment. But I'm glad he asked it! Because I know this is an important question and one we all struggle with to some degree, because it's all about wondering what others are thinking of you. This isn't an issue just confined to singleness. Fear of man (the biblical term, not the single woman's term!) is a common temptation.

If you want to know what I said in response, you can listen to the program online. We also took questions from a handful of people in the audience, both men and women, and looked at the issues of singleness, "matchmaking," mentoring, "baggage," and more. (I used the quotation marks on purpose--you'll have to listen to find out why.) It was an incredible privilege to be on the show.

Comments

[Tim]

Carolyn, This 3 part broadcast has been a real blessing to me. After hearing the first part on the radio I had to listen to it again online. I found myself getting eagerly excited for parts 2,3. Both you and Candice have a wonderful gift from God.
As a man of 40, I find myself in the same path as you, serving God by waiting and living in His awesome grace.
There was so much in what you ladies had to say, 3 parts just wasn't enough. I could hear the voice of Jesus in your love and empathy, you really lifted my spirit.
On a side note, you jokingly said, "Send me your names and addresses." Well.. You Got Mail! :)
Our God is so Awesome!

[Tanya]

THANK YOU!!!! I cannot express what a beautiful gift this has been just to read your summaries. I look forward to actually listening to the recordings later as this week is busy, but I highly anticipate the messages.

And I'm thankful to hear of men listening as well!

:) Tanya

[Laura]

I was able to listen to all three of the broadcasts and it has generated some questions for me. I am in my late 20's and have been married five years and I am wondering what my role is as a sister in Christ to encourage the single men and women I know to marry.

Most of my single friends want to be married, but either they are not actively pursuing it, or there are areas of spiritual growth that I believe need to occur before they would be ready for a serious relationship or pursued by a godly man.

I feel like I have no place to discuss these issues with them, as I don't understand the place they are in. Please advise me in these areas.

[Kelly]

I was so encouraged by the broadcasts on Focus on the Family. It was good to be reminded that we are not in this alone, that others understand these struggles. And not only that it was a good reminder to me to press on, single or not, pursuing those things which please and honor the Lord...and to be very purposeful about not allowing any sort of discouragement to render me useless for His work during the waiting because our God is indeed sovereign and good and I want to be found to be His good and faithful servant!

[Moses]

Dear Carolyn,

Thank you for your passion, love, and devotion for the LORD. These were all clearly evident as I listened to you on Focus on the Family. I was truly blessed and encouraged.

As you said,"Singleness is not about you. Your life is to stand up for the glory of Christ and you are called to invest in His bride - the church..."

I pray the LORD continues to richly bless you.

=o)

Blessings,

~Moses

[Hallee]

I really have enjoyed listening to it! You are able to communicate speaking as well as you communicate in writing - something not every writer can claim. Thank you for your ministry.

Hallee

[Fritz]

Carolyn,

I heard all three broadcasts. As another single man who frequents your blog, I would like to say, "Well done." ;) :)

I know you have touched on some of these things before here, and it might be worth repeating in the future, so, we should all think about what we would be willing to sacrifice for our future spouse. How far & how much can we see ourselves moving away from our comfort zone of what & where we call home?

What we would be willing to "put up with" as well. Are the things you do just some quirks, or are they deeper than that?

Every person has some kind of "baggae". It's unreasonable to hold that against them. We either need to accept it or move on. Hopefully we (in the family of Christ) can help each other deal with it. Not necessarily in the sense of counseling/therapy. That's something different.

As for "fear of man"; we have all been hurt at one time or another, and usually more than once. I don't know many people that like to be involved with victims/drama queens/martyrs for long term relationships. It's very stressing. So, yes you were right. Success is not the problem. It's the overbearing, cold woman most men don't find to be attractive.

In relationships, we need to give ourselves completely to them (Biblically speaking of course). Secrecy builds suspicion, suspicion builds resentment, and resentment will eventually kill any relationship. Openness won't guarentee a succesful relationship, but secrecy can almost assure its demise.

Ok, so what format would you like those single men's resumes in? LOL pdf, word, or perhaps mwav?

[Meredith]

I was so blessed and encouraged as I listened to all three of these messages. Thank you for sharing.

[Stephanie A.]

These broadcasts have been so helpful and encouraging to me, Carolyn.

I'm a 25 year old single and although I hope for marriage, I also hope that my single years (however long) will be marked with the kind of faithfulness and love for the Lord that you so beautifully exemplify.

[twitter.com/KJGracie]

Fear of man doesn't magically get better if you are not single. I have been married nearly 4 years and I still turn down invitations when my husband can't make it. I just hate walking into a room on my own, even if I know half the people there.
Pathetic isn't it?

[Terry]

I did not hear the first 2 programs, but I was able to catch your Q&A session. I appreciated how you responded graciously to the question about your church.