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October 27, 2009

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Cyndi

This doesn't surprise me at all. I am old enough to remember the housewife era. When I was a child, a working mother was looked at as being odd and irresponsible and was generally ostracized from the "mom click". Moms met during the day for coffee and dessert, or to process produce, or to shop together. Evenings were given fully to marriage and family. There was a support network within each neighborhood so if there was a death or illness, the neighbors filled in the gaps. Our Sunday afternoons were spent playing softball against other neighborhoods in friendly fun. Neighbors were a second set of eyes for the safety of the kids because everyone knew everyone else and children felt safe, yet knew they couldn't get away with mischief.

Then as a young mother, I was forced to work, and I saw women in the work place trying to replace what my mother had with the neighbor women with relationships within the workforce. This doesn't work because when things go wrong at work, that means they go wrong in your emotional support system as well, which pretty much means all aspects of your life are upset.

Then I worked in campus ministry on a large university campus in the early 90's and the next generation of women's rights advocates were the meanest, most unhappy, most bitter people I had ever met! It made me think of what the Bible says happens when people are "unrestrained!" I decided that there was anything "feminine" about this movement anymore. They just plain out wanted to be men!

Thank God, Christian women know that the "restraints" of God's Word and calling are placed there out of perfect love so that we can have perfect happiness in what He created us to do, for everything that He created both in us and for us is perfection as well and is what brings us true happiness! I've learned that if God designed it to work a certain way, it won't work any other way. Bucking His design is like trying to bake cookies on a typewriter. You won't end up with cookies and you'll ruin your typewriter in the process. But baking cookies the right way is delicious and pleasureable, especially the result--as long as you don't eat too many :-), and typing within the typwriter designed will produce desired results!

I do see, among younger women today on the college campus, an interest and a desire to "recapture" being "feminine". They see enough to realize that things are not right. May God help us to minister to this generation and bring "revival" of all that is good about being a woman!

Julia

Sadly, I sensed the findings before I read them. I've always wondered about the appeal of "having it all." Our society has changed so much that the idea of being "trapped" at home has become almost incomprehensible. We (women) are free to choose and, if family and home is our priority, then why aren't we choosing it? Myself included. My husband and I have been trying to figure out a way to live on one income (his). But we continue to hesitate because even though we both agree that we want one of us caring for home full-time, to give up a good job seems...irresponsible.

Please pardon the rambling; I've been struggling with this issue for a long time.

Homemaker, MD

Hmmm...seems like the Time didn't notice their own answer to their own question:

"Among the most confounding changes of all is the evidence, tracked by numerous surveys, that as women have gained more freedom, more education and more economic power, they have become less happy." and then noting what women wanted for their own daughters: a happy marriage and children--both of which have nothing to do with the pursuit of freedom, education, and economic power.

Seems like the pursuit of one has lead to the detriment of the other. Interesting given the new trend of more professional women "opting out" for the Mommy Track.

I agree, we need to be more intention in helping women in our culture reach these goals of strong families, and this can best be done by viewing our identies as women in light of Scripture.

Mom of 2, NM

My husband and I made the decision before our first son was born that I would stay home with our children (actually, we discussed this on our 2nd date). Our desire was that we would put God first and raise our children to love God and our family. Our family is a huge priority for us and one that is not worth sacrificing. We all make choices everyday and we must live with those choices whether they are what clothes to wear or what we are going to eat or do we give up the extra income to nurture our children and make an investment in our society later. My husband teaches at a public high school in the Southwest (so you can imagine that we aren't rolling in the dough) and we are doing just fine on one income. Actually, we have done better than most in light of the current economic downturn because we were already accustomed to living far below what others do. There are times when I wish I had a big house like some of our friends, or to be able to go on a vacation, but the reality is I get to enjoy everyday with my boys. I do not regret our choice for me to be at home. We as parents only get one chance to raise our sons or daughters and that time goes by so quickly. Is it really worth giving that time up just for a paycheck? For me, it isn't.

I would encourage others to really decide what is important. There are many things that we as Americans think we "must" have or couldn't live without. If staying at home with your children is most important to you, you can make it happen. I know, because I am living it.

lori flores

so sad for the kids involved.

Warren Farrell

Nice i got good information

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