Desire and Idolatry

It's been great to hear from so many of you after posting my last entry on praying for a husband. I always appreciate the feedback, even if it takes me a bit to read and clear the comments. That's just a limitation resulting from my schedule and busy work deadlines.

Given some of the questions, I just want to address one additional thought from that post -- the tension between idolatry and desire. Here it is in a nutshell: It's not wrong to want a good thing, especially a good thing that God created and instituted from the beginning of creation! So desiring marriage is fine. It's the strength of that desire that we have to monitor. When that desire becomes so dominating that our worship of God is dented or diminished, we know right away that we have crossed the line into idolatry. We can't be satisfied with all of our other blessings, because we run everything through the growing demand for a husband. 

Here are some warning signs to consider. This is by no means exhaustive, but it could be helpful:

• You find it hard to pray because you think God doesn't want to bless you.
• You aren't thankful for all the other answered prayers and blessings in your life.
• You withdraw from others who are getting married or in relationships. (I do understand how hard it can be when someone else enters a relationship, especially with a man you are interested in. Being knocked off-balance by disappointment is common and it takes time to grieve lost hopes. But it should be temporary. If it becomes a permanent way of relating to others, then you've entered the place of bitterness and idolatry.)
• You go to church more aware of the human relationships around you (ones you envy, ones you want) than your relationship with God. 
• You think you have no purpose in the Kingdom because you are single, so therefore you don't serve others in the church or outside of it. You've begun to believe the Enemy's lie that nothing good can come out of this season of your life. 
• Any discussion of marriage or singleness is a sore spot for you, one that keeps bringing you back to the idea that God is withholding something good from you.

Like I said, this is not an exhaustive list, just something to consider. My main reason for posting this today is to encourage you not to lose the joy of your salvation as you wait on God. He may or may not answer your prayers the way you want, but you can be sure there is a wonderful purpose behind His plans for you. 

In the meantime, I'd also like to recommend another resource to encourage you. Some of my friends have created a blog called "fast.pray" about this very topic of praying for marriage. I think you will find it to be a helpful, honest, and hopeful place to visit. 

Comments

[Rebecca]

Thank you for writing this post. I wrote in my personal blog just yesterday about this very issue I'm facing and I'm so glad God answered my question through your post. I find myself distancing from God because of the prayers over many years for a husband went unanswered while many Christian friends around me are blessed with marriage. I find excuses to not go to friends gatherings if they are composed of mostly couples. I feel out of space in many social situations because of my status.

Your post serves as a great reminder that I should not be treating this issue like an idol. It shouldn't dominate my life and I should be aware of God's blessings in other aspects of my life.

Thanks.

[Daniela]

Amen Sister! Indeed, we should never allow our desire for a companion consume our life. We are not defined by our marital status after all! I can also recommend this link: http://rubiviews.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/surviving-singleness-why-opposites-attract-ii-9-7-11/

[john bautista]

Yea i agree with the above statements. i definitely don't think that we should be consumed. in fact, the idea of living this life just wishing and hoping for a spouse is not the point of life and can become idolatry.
what do you think about this article??

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