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September 07, 2011



So encouraging and refreshing, Carolyn! I immediately passed it on to four friends. I'm saying a big AMEN to your prayers!


Good words of encouragement for all of us, single or married. We all find ourselves in difficult circumstances at one time or another, and yet He is good. He is faithful. Thanks for writing this, Carolyn.


I love your second point... The other points are true...we should pray without ceasing. We should rejoice and anticipate His answers, even if they are not what we would like.

But, I think we focus on trusting God in bad circumstances (at least I do) that I forget that my story is still being written. I assume He hasn't answered my prayers for a spouse and choose to say "Help me trust you without this answer" -- but I forget that He could still be answering.

It is almost harder to trust God in the waiting. If my answer was No, I would hate that, then accept it, then ask the Lord for His help in learning to trust and rejoice, and learn to quit hoping for a spouse and trusting God to sustain me, even in the "no" answer...but not knowing the answer is harder - because its a mix of trusting and hoping... which sometimes to me seems opposites...

So, I love your point that our stories are still being written. I trust God in my singleness now, and I may have to trust Him in my singleness forever, but I do not yet know that. Why quit petitioning? As you said, the answer is not my responsibility or control, but the petitioning is.


Carolyn - years ago you led a few of us in praying and fasting for husbands on a regular basis. Even though God brought my husband many years later, it was still very fruitful and I think God used it to help my heart wait for God to move.


Carolyn, you are a beautiful woman. I know that God has used you much in this life and I wished that your blog was around when I was single because it would have helped me much; so many single women need wisdom from others. As a married woman now, I realized the importance of being totally in love with my God, putting Him first in my life. God wants our total devotion to him and when he feels we will not play the harlot by putting a husband and others before him, then he give us what we need, not what we think we should have in a mate. God does knows what is best! Being single is a time to rejoice.


This article was great, especially helping us readers, whatever things we're wresting with, to relieve the pressure or anxiety in ourselves, and helping people to look up. One thing that I wish you had mentioned, though, is that while people are unmarried they have a unique opportunity and freedom to grow as an individual, and be happy alone. Also there is the assurance that not all women or men are meant to be married, and that in that they are not/need not feel less complete or fulfilled because they never have a spouse. Some very winning people for God have been unmarried men and women. The apostle Shaul (Paul) was a well-documented example. I think as women especially learn contentment with being unmarried, while they have the desire to be married, they will learn that having a husband (and maybe) children is not an end-all of feminine existence. It is merely something God chooses for some. There is some beautiful grace in that, and freedom.


This post makes so, SO much sense. I have often wondered whether I should pray for a husband, but your words helped me see that not talking to God about it is actually a faithless attitude.
I love the reminder that our stories aren't finished yet, and also that the best thing that could happened HAS happened!
Thanks very much for this practical, inspiring post.


I was thinking about this topic the other day, and the following thoughts/questions caused me some distress!

As a single woman, I read (and wish to heed) plenty of warnings not to idolize marriage. Idolatry - putting anything before the One True God - is not limited to carved images. My question is, if I continue to petition God for a husband out of a desire to be married, isn't my inability to set aside that desire be indicative of idolatry in my heart? Can I justify asking God specifically for a husband without implying He is not enough for me, in essence asking for the very object my idolatrous heart seeks?

I believe that this question subtly addresses an attitude, and as such I do not intend to condemn petitioning God. God welcomes, hears, and answers our prayers. At times while waiting, though, I grow frustrated by my inability to be content. Isn't that what the struggle of the wait comes down to? It's not that I don't know to trust God, it's that my heart (i.e. emotional response) and head (i.e. rationale) just don't quite agree on the how (at this moment). Thus, my question. Do I make sure not to petition God for a husband when I've hit such an emotional place? How does this line up with how God cares for all of me - including my emotional self?

Trinka Jeffery

I've come to the opposite conclusion on this one. (and for myself only ... not applying it to others!)

When I prayed for marriage, I found that it kept me from living fully in the here-and-now. Since we're told that God gives singleness for the purpose of whole-hearted ministry, it seemed as if praying for marriage was thwarting God's purpose that I was SURE of.

I finally had to just leave it with him, and move on, trusting that if He wanted me to be married, He'd bring it to pass without my focusing on it. :)



Thank you so much for this post! As a recent college grad, I've seen a lot of my friends wrestle with entering the "real world" without a significant other. It's refreshing to hear some applicable, godly advice on the subject. Thank you!


The bible says that ''He that finds a wife finds a good thing'',We should pray for husbands because we need the help of God in locating the missing link-husbands.

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