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November 01, 2011


Brenda @Triple Braided

Carolyn, this is an excellent article with so much truth and really eye-opening information. I just finished a series on my blog where I talked a lot about single women needing mentors in the church to come alongside them. I think that we as the Church (and as bloggers) are doing a great job discipling and mentoring married people, people with children,and homeschool families, but we still do not emphasize the importance of befriending single women. This was one of my biggest struggles and frustrations when I was single. I just didn't "fit-in" anywhere.

Thank you for your words today!


Thank you for this thought provoking article! I have been challenged again by your writing. I've recently 'nominated' you for a blog award. If you want to check it out head to http://www.hayesfamily.co.za/blog/?p=11275 - please don't feel any obligation to pass it on, however. :)




Thank you for this article! Many of my girlfriends are still single, and a lot of the time I'm lost as to how to encourage them in their singleness. Marriage is such a beautiful picture of God's covenant, and I love to promote it. However, I am also afraid to provoke envy. Thank you for sharing your insight so I can have a biblical approach to relating with my single friends.

Bethany Grover

Excellent article, Carolyn! Thanks so much for sharing it here. You are an example to me of speaking the truth clearly yet graciously.

Lore Ferguson

One of the best things on singleness I've read in a LONG time. Thanks for this paragraph in particular: "It means dating is no longer a zero sum game that results in a littered landscape of broken relationships and cut-off communication. It’s not whether boy gets girl. It’s whether we can look Jesus in the eye and say, “Thank you for the time you gave me with this person. I did my best to encourage and pray for this individual while I knew him/her. I loved without fear of loss because I wanted to be like you. So by your grace, I did my very best to build up this man/woman and return him/her to you with thanks for the gift of this relationship.” Because even if we get married, that’s also what we have to do for our spouses. "

Amy J.

Thank you for your ministry and heart! You have been a blessing to my faith and understanding of God's love for me.


Thank you for this great article. It has been a blessing today because I have been struggling with bitterness and anger over my singleness. I need to be continually reminded that marriage is not the ultimate prize and that God is not withholding the very best from me simply because I am unmarried. The Bible says that we will not be married, nor given in marriage in eternity, so really I'm just getting a head start.
Four years ago I dated a man very briefly that I really thought could lead to something permanent but it did not. I have grown very angry and bitter at God over that relationship. Why did He allow that relationship to grow from a friendship only to be disappointed when it was didn't work out? I don't have an answer and I may never know on this side of eternity but articles like this help me to keep on keeping on.

Dan Doriani

Carolyn - thanks for a great piece, especially the points about suffering and "not a zero-sum game." Thank you - I'll especially share the last with others. Dan Doriani


Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! This is such an encouraging article to me and to the entire Body of Christ.


I really appreciate the way you wrote this article.

You gave very specific ways the church can guide single adults; especially the one about the calendar and our time. Sometimes we are viewed as having nothing to do because we are single. I have actually been told your single you have time that I don’t have.

When the reality is, my schedule is most likely just as full as the married women, only I have different tasks. A reminder along these lines also, is as a single person we are the only bread winner so a lot of our time is required in our business or work.

Thank you for writing this and giving your insight.

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