Radical Womanhood

Welcome to Radical Womanhood

It's a new year, so it's time for a new name and look for this blog. Introducing ... the Radical Womanhood blog. Because being a biblical woman in a modern world is a radical act.

Now I get to be just like one of my favorite bloggers, Justin Taylor, whose blog name is different from his blog URL. I'm not migrating my blog address right now, just changing the name from Solo Femininity to Radical Womanhood.

This new blog name also references the title for my forthcoming book--Radical Womanhood: Lures, Lies, and True Liberation, which will (Lord willing!) be released by Moody Publishers this coming October. I'm in the homestretch of writing, so if you think to pray for me and this project, I would GREATLY appreciate it. Not that I have ever run a marathon or have any intentions of doing so, but to me this feels like the last leg in a marathon.

I also have the pleasure of announcing that Jane Connolly of Charlotte, NC, won the title contest. The team at Moody blended one of their suggested titles with hers to come up with the final title. Thanks to all who submitted title ideas! I much appreciated your ideas and support. And Jane, a little thank you will be headed your way shortly.

Pink or Blue?

I'm on a writing deadline, so I don't have time to write a new entry for our current series. However, in my research for this article, I came across an interesting point about color and gender in an article published last month in the New York Times magazine:

Girls’ obsession with that color [pink] may seem like something they’re born with, like the ability to breathe or talk on the phone for hours on end. But according to Jo Paoletti, an associate professor of American studies at the University of Maryland, it ain’t so. When colors were first introduced to the nursery in the early part of the 20th century, pink was considered the more masculine hue, a pastel version of red. Blue, with its intimations of the Virgin Mary, constancy and faithfulness, was thought to be dainty. Why or when that switched is not clear, but as late as the 1930s a significant percentage of adults in one national survey held to that split. Perhaps that’s why so many early Disney heroines — Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Wendy, Alice-in-Wonderland — are swathed in varying shades of azure. (Purple, incidentally, may be the next color to swap teams: once the realm of kings and N.F.L. players, it is fast becoming the bolder girl’s version of pink.)

So it seems my new blog color is historically feminine after all. Rock on.

New Look! Same Great Content!

Now it's my turn to trot out those tired marketing clichés: "New Look! Same Great Content! Perfect for the Whole Family! Try All Three Great Flavors!"

This blog was screaming for a makeover. Hope you enjoy it. It's still a template, so you're not getting anything original. But at least there are a few new photos and a different color scheme.

It's too early for spring cleaning, but I'm on a roll. Next up: the closet. Or maybe my purse...

New Purse, New Policy

A few months ago, I purchased a new purse. I should have been duly warned because this one came with its own light. Take it from me, if your purse is cavernous enough to require a light to find what's residing on the bottom, it is just too big! Another indicator that a purse is outsized: your mobile phone always goes to voicemail before you can get your hands on it to answer. But the real litmus test is "the big dig." If you have to disgorge the contents of your purse on your lap, the restaurant table, or the adjoining car seat just to find a pack of gum, you need a better system.

I am waiting for purse manufacturers to recognize that we need a feminine toolbox, not a soft-sided pouch. We need compartments with strong dividers to organize keys, multiple lipsticks, mobile phone, PDA, iPod, digital camera, sunglasses, wallet, pain reliever, mints/gum, tissues, feminine products, and other necessities (such as Shout-Wipes for the spill-prone). That's just the stuff a single woman hauls around. When you get married, you need compartments for the "hey, honey, can you put this in your purse for me" items. Then when you have kids, you have to add a plastic-lined, hazardous waste compartment for all the soiled and half-used items your children hand you--"here, Mommy."

But, alas, I have yet to find such a stylish and useful item. So today I capitulated and purchased another purse that at least allows me to see the contents without a miner's helmet.

My purse overhaul is symbolic of a larger life issue. Like my purse, my life is full of good intentions, randomly packed. Lots of wonderful and necessary things are found in there, but it's too crowded. It's time to pare down.

In recent months, I've been seeking the advice of many people close to me (mentors, pastors, accountability partners, and family) about my schedule and priorities. As the old saying goes, the enemy of the best is the good. Which means you can be ineffective while doing lots of good things. This blog is a good thing. But it takes a lot of time, some of which may be better invested in the people God has already put in my life. A few months ago, I announced I was cutting down my blog entries to two to three entries a week, on average.

Now I must eliminate moderating comments.

Please understand I still want to hear from you because your feedback is valuable--it may initiate a clarification or be the genesis of a future blog post. Though I do read every email and every comment that is submitted, I simply don't have the time to respond to most emails or to moderate the comments in a timely way. So please use the comment function to reply (that way I know which topic you are referring to), but note that comments will no longer be published.

When I first began this blog, I had the idealistic notion it would save time. I would often receive variations of the same question, so I thought if I answered it publicly on a blog, it would be the most efficient method for everyone. That, however, led to more email and more questions. I'm honored to be asked to advise other women, but most of the time I'm not the best person to help because I'm too removed. The best counsel comes from those who can observe your life (pastors, parents, mentors, and close friends), people who can understand more fully the context of a situation. So though I have to institute these changes, I still hope this corner of cyberspace will continue to be a place of Godward encouragement.

Thanks for reading!

A Warnie Award!

I recently discovered that I am a recipient of one of the international Warnie Awards for blogging. Adrian Warnock has assigned a "clutch of awards" to several bloggers and I am more than delighted to be among them.

I had my accceptance speech all ready to go ("I'd like to to thank the Warnie Academy, my parents, all 3800 members of my church, and every person in the world with access to the Internet...), but then I was contacted by the Warnie audit team, who suspected the awards had been influenced by vote buying. To wit, one recent dinner in Gaithersburg. The photographic evidence has now been recovered.

The audit team has ruled that I may keep the award, but I have to stand mutely in the back of the group as we all receive our awards. No speech for me. But that doesn't prevent me from wildly gesturing and pointing out some of my favorite posts on the other Warnie Award winners:

- "When Lancelot Comes Riding, Part 2" on the Rebelution--or how to be gracious when men act like gentlemen.

- "Why Have You Chosen this Lot for Me?" from the Finding God in My Difficult Marriage series on the Married Life Blog.

- "What Do We Wear to Worship God?" from Worship Matters. Though addressed to the musicians and vocalists, this is an insightful post for everyone in church.

- "Retreat Meditation" from the five15 blog, an exceedingly useful outline of how to meditate on Scripture.

- "Modesty on Your Wedding Day" from Josh Harris' blog--I especially appreciated his gracious closing comments about avoiding self-righteousness on this topic.

- "More on the Oppression of Women" from the Jollyblogger, who wisely points to our innate sinfulness, rather than any social structure, as the reason for any real oppression women experience.

Congratulations to all the winners! And thank you, Adrian.

Thank You!

What a wonderful surprise to discover that someone had nominated this blog for the Blogs of Beauty award--and that it had been named a finalist in the "Best Encourager for Singles" category. This award program honors the women who "bring the beauty of the Lord Jesus to the blogosphere." It is a commendable effort and I'm deeply grateful to be included among the 590 nominations this year. I tip my hat to founder Sallie Borrink, who not only put a lot of work into this contest, she did it while pregnant. That's commitment!

So to all who are visiting from her site, A Gracious Home, welcome! I hope you all will find much encouragement here in the diverse topics that make their way to Solo Femininity. Make sure to also check out my fellow bloggers at Girl Talk, who were nominated for best group blog!

Blogging and Community

Here are three friends who periodically comment on this blog--Philippa, Mindy, and Madonna (left to right)--sitting in Holy Trinity Brompton Church in London. When I found out that Mindy and Madonna were planning a trip to London for New Year's Eve, I told Philippa I was shipping some friends her way. Though I've never met Philippa, either, I thought it would be fun to connect my carbon-based friends with a cyberspace friend. They all reported enjoying the fellowship and laughter together. And I'm very glad I got to introduce them!

This is a fantastic opportunity for me to thank each of you, too. Of the millions of places you can visit online, I'n glad you've stopped here. I enjoy reading the comments and emails I receive. This blog community is a bit like dessert--it doesn't replace the meat of the local church, but it's nice to have a treat every now and then. I delight to see how the Lord is working through so many channels in our lives, including this one. So here's my blessing to each of you today: "May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you" (Jude 1:2).

Blogging and Community

I'm heading home from California today, after enjoying a wonderful weekend in Pasadena for Grace Community Church's Resolved conference for singles. I can't wait for the audio messages to be uploaded because I was often in and out of the sessions due to my responsibilities there. But what I heard was rich and I can't wait to listen again to the teaching from John MacArthur, Rick Holland, Steve Lawson, and C.J. and Carolyn Mahaney. (The messages from last year's Resolved conference are currently available until then!)

I also had a chance to meet several people I only "knew" in the blogosphere--both fellow bloggers and those who read and comment here. That was a gift from God in many ways. The encouragement I received was meaningful. Blogs have a way of really taking over one's life! I can't imagine doing this without a ministry purpose because few people are making a living at blogging. But if my musings help my sisters (and sometimes brothers) in Christ, then it's worth all the time to do it. Meeting some of the faces behind the blogs or screen names was a joy! A blog can never replace the fellowship found in the local church, but it is certainly sweet to meet others in cyberspace who are also fellow Pilgrims on the road home! God has been gracious to provide this technology to us for it indeed makes the world a smaller place.

(Pictured above: With Jan from The View from Her, after our dinner meeting where we discussed working for the church, blogging, and how God is meeting us in our singleness.)

Time Warp!

How often have I moaned about not having enough time, wishing I go back in time and catch up? Well, thanks to my blog hosting service, I was able to go back a week--and in the midst of this busy holiday season. What a bonus! For any of you who visited my blog yesterday, you were probably thinking it was December 16. Silly goose. Typepad universally declared it to be December 9 and all their bloggers got a trip back in time. I have to tell you it was wonderful. I feel totally caught up now.

Thanks for the extra week, Typepad!

(P.S. Typepad will be restoring photos over the weekend.)

An Example Worth Emulating (By Royal Decree)

My friends often call me (in a loving way, of course) The Princess. I wholeheartedly agree with them. In fact, I've declared myself Empress of Montgomery County. But until this week, that was merely my own delusion of grandeur. Now I've got proof. Though it's not gender-correct, Tim Challies made me King for a Week.  And with my newly bestowed title, I will issue my first Royal Decree. It is thusly: We do hereby declare the following to be an Example Worth Emulating and urge the citizenry of this lovely nation to take heed for how to apply it in their own churches. Here, here!

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A pastor's wife in New Jersey, Kim, recently sent me the following letter about how she invested in the single women of her church through a book study combined with personal gifts and specific events. Though she is referring to my book, this can be easily applied to any book. I liked Kim's creativity and how intentional she was for each meeting. I also appreciated how honest she was in telling me that some of the single women originally balked at going through a book with the ominous title of Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? I laughed when she told me, but I have to admit that if I were younger and unfamiliar with the book, I, too, would probably balk! I've edited her letter slightly for the purposes of this blog, but here is the gist of what she wrote:

"Well, we just finished up your book last night. God certainly used it in our church.  My goal was just to get them reading your book and have a special surprise at each monthly meeting--but God added so much more!  For the November meeting, I felt the Lord give me the idea to surprise the ladies by having three other women come out [to pray for them]. That night I gave out my gifts of the framed Scriptures, which totally melted their hearts, and then we split into our two groups.  We took each lady one by one and spent a good 15-20 minutes praying over her particular requests.  What was especially wonderful was that the other women in these groups prayed, as well. I think the ladies went away really refreshed and encouraged.   

"Each month I had a special surprise:

• September - A CD of Mark Dever's message on Ruth (per your suggestion in the book)
• October - An encouragement note from their caregroup leader (or someone their caregroup leader asked )and an invitation out for tea/lunch/dinner.
• November - A framed Scripture. (I had asked them to give me their favorite Bible verse in our October meeting. Then I typed these verses up in a fancy font and put them in beautiful frames.  They really loved that. I have to say that was my favorite surprise too.)
• December - A set of coasters and some homemade pumpkin bread of mine.  I chose coasters because I wanted to give something practical as well as something would remind them of our special time each time they used it.

"At the last meeting, I read aloud your section about a personal retreat and gave out Carolyn Mahaney's personal retreat guide.  I strongly encouraged them to try and find some time to do a retreat.  Then we split into our two groups and discussed their homework assignment: Come prepared to share which chapter you felt especially convicted about. Where would God want you to read, re-read, apply and ask for accountability in the next year?  That was a good discussion and God certainly focused one or two areas for each woman."

I am grateful that Kim set aside this season to specifically invest in and encourage the single women in her church. If any of them ever wondered if they were valued by the leaders or other members, I trust Kim's efforts dispelled that notion. I liked her mix of gifts, too. Not only did she give out instructional items such as a teaching CD or personal retreat guide, she also gave homemade gifts of pumpkin bread and framed Scripture verses. Then she mixed in encouragement notes, some quality time with another woman and an invitation out, as well as personal prayer. No matter your "love language," Kim had covered all the bases!

This is a wonderful example of how older women can fulfill the Titus 2 mandate to "teach what is good" to younger women. I applaud her efforts and pray that it bears good fruit in the months and years to come.