Radical Womanhood

Redeeming Church Conflicts

"Looking around at the modern church landscape, it can sometimes feel like bitter irony that the Bible says the manifold wisdom of God is to be shown through his church (Eph. 3:10)--so many conflicts, so many church splits, so many factions! and yet we serve a God who is rich in mercy and does not give up on us."

That is how I started my endorsement of a book that I think is timely and much needed for modern churches--Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care by Tara Klena Barthel and David V. Edling. I continued:

"If you find yourself find the midst of church conflict, this book will be a balm to your soul and revive your confidence in the work of the Holy Spirit among his people. Tara Barthel and David Edling have written a wise and tender reminder that our Lord's redemptive purposes extend even today to the most fractious church bodies. Whether you are an ordained leader or a new church member, Redeeming Church Conflicts is a must read. It will give you hope that whatever conflicts you are currently in, or will encounter in the future, can be resolved in a holy and purposeful manner to the praise of God's glory."

Unfortunately, church conflicts are nothing new. In fact, the first church conflict is recorded for us in Acts 15, where the apostle Paul has a sharp disagreement with Barnabas. By studying this account, Tara and David have developed a model for redeeming church conflicts, which is the structure for their book. They introduce and outline this model in this way:

Perspective: In a church conflict, we can know for certain we have lost perspective if we begin to take conflicts as personal offenses. Conversely, if we see so-called opponents with eyes of compassion, we know God is working in us to redeem the conflict for his glory and our growth.

Discernment: In a church conflict, we know we are on the path of healing discernment if we find ourselves spending more time listening than speaking. Further, as we carefully form and ask questions seeking group health rather than merely advancing a personally favored solution, evidence emerges that God's work of redemption is advancing not only his interests but also our holiness.

Leadership: In a church conflict, if we embrace our personal and individual responsibility for leadership within each of our own personal spheres of influence, we gradually become group problem solvers and increasingly turn away from narrow personal agendas. The more we see ourselves as shepherd-leaders serving others among God's flock, the greater the opportunity for creating an environment from which peace will flow.

Biblical reponse: In a church conflict, as we remember that Christ loves his church more than we ever will and that he has paid more than we ever will, our confidence in the Bible and our commitment to faithful pursuit of biblical responses to conflict will be clear and steadfast. One of the biggest mistakes people make in church conflict is failing to trust Scripture.

Using this structure, the authors build out their teaching through chapters such as "Eternity Makes a Difference;" "Actions, Desires, and Beliefs;" "Working with Church Groups;" "Owning My Contribution to Conflict;" "How Can I Glorify God in This Mess?""Speaking Truth in Love;" and "Forgive as Christ Forgives." 

As David says, one of the first victims of a church conflict is hope. I want to do my part for those of you today who are in the midst of conflict and are flagging in hope. I want to get this book into your hands, so Tara has graciously agreed to give away a free, signed book to the first five people who contact her at info@tarabarthel.com. But for all those who miss that opportunity, you can still find excerpts from the book on the authors' blog, as well as additional posts on topics such as abusive churches, church discipline, lawsuits and church conflict, confrontation and more. 

At Home: A Short History of Private Life

One of the most enjoyable mainstream books I've read in recent months is Bill Bryson's At Home: A Short History of Private Life. Determined to discover why we live as we do, Bryson ended up penning an amusing rabbit trail of large swaths of human history. An engaging writer, Bryson's dry wit manages to convey tremendous volumes of detail while keeping the reader thoroughly entertained. One of my favorite lines, written about a project engineer, showcases Bryson's flair: "He was indubitably a genius, but an unnerving one, as it nearly always took epic infusions of time and cash to find a point of intersection between his soaring visions and an achievable reality." Love that description!

The premise of At Home is summarized in the preface:

Houses are amazingly complex repositories. What I found, to my great surprise, is that whatever happens in the world--whatever is discovered or created or bitterly fought over--eventually ends up, in one way or another, in your house. Wars, famines, the Industrial Revolution, the Enlightenment--they are all there in your sofas and chests of drawers, tucked into the folds of your curtains, in the downy softness of your pillows, in the paint of your walls and the water of your pipes. So the history of household life isn't just a history of beds and sofas and kitchen stoves, as I had vaguely supposed it would be, but of scurvy and guano and the Eiffel Tower and bedbugs and body-snatching and just about everything else that has ever happened. Houses aren't refuges from history. They are where history ends up.

It is appropriate that I write this review from an historic mansion in Cape May, NJ. As the nation's first seaside resort, Cape May is a living tribute to the Victorian era. The elaborate furniture and traditions that we associate with the Victorians is contrasted in my mind with the developments of glass, sewer systems, and flush toilets that Bryson recounts in this book. Why did brass beds come into vogue? Bedbugs. Why did Chicago become a booming center of trade? Ice. What were among the most treasured commodities in the world? Spices. 

And did you know that Thomas Jefferson was not only the author of the Declaration of Independence, but also the father of the American french fry?

Bryson even detours into church life in the 19th century, giving modern church-goers another reason to be grateful for their modern facilities: 

Many churches made most of their money from burials, and were loath to give up such lucrative business. At the Enon Baptist Church on Clement's Lane in Holborn (now the site of the campus of the London School of Economics), the church authorities managed to cram a colossal twelve thousand bodies in the cellar in just nineteen years. Not surprisingly, such a volume of rotting flesh created odors that could not well be contained. It was a rare service in which several worshippers didn't faint. Eventually, most stopped coming altogether, but still the chapel kept accepting bodies for interment. The parson needed the income."

In fact, Bryson notes that the medical journal The Lancet ran "occasional reports of people overcome by bad air while visiting graveyards."

The chapter on human waste, urban sewage troubles, and the invention of the flush toilet leaves one practically without words. If you can think of no other reason to be grateful today, be grateful you live in the hygienic era of toilets and germ theory! And this is where we can circle back to Cape May. 

But where America was really ahead of the rest of the world was in the provision of private bathrooms. Here the main driver was not homeowners, but hotels. The very first hotel in the world to offer a bath for every bedroom was the Mount Vernon Hotel in the resort community of Cape May, New Jersey. This was in 1853 and was so far ahead of its time that over half a century passed before any other hotels offered such exravagance.

Finally, sprinkled throughout his prose are quick references to the history of a word or phrase. As Bryson writes, "Perhaps the most irrational fashion act of all was the male habit for 150 years of wearing wigs. ... Wigs were so valuable--a full one could cost £50--that they were left as bequests in wills. The more substantial the wig, the higher up the social echelon one stood--one became literally a bigwig."

If you want to know the history of nearly everything you use on a daily basis, this book will explain it all to you. And then some.

(Photo: The Southern Mansion in Cape May.)

A Praying Life

"Conversation is only the vehicle through which we experience one another," writes Paul Miller, author of A Praying Life. "Consequently, prayer is not the center of this book. Getting to know a person, God, is the center."

That quote sums up this refreshingly atypical book about prayer. Other books I've read often list formats, acronyms, and methodologies for improving your prayer life, which is sometimes necessary. But this book made me realize how imbalanced I was in trying to evaluate my prayer life through its "effectiveness," i.e. answered prayers. Though I knew that fact intellectually, it was still my default functional theology. I liked keeping prayer journals so I could track how many prayers were answered.  And that's not the point of prayer. Instead, the praying life reveals the heart, Miller writes.

The quest for a contemplative life can actually be self-absorbed, focused on my quiet and me. If we love people and have the power to help, then we are going to be busy. Learning to pray doesn't offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart. In the midst of outer busyness we can develop an inner quiet. Because we are less hectic on the inside, we have a greater capacity to love. ...

We don't learn to love someone without it changing us. That is just the nature of love that reflects the heart of God. Because God's love is unchanging, the second person of the Trinity, Jesus of Nazareth, now has a scarred body. The Trinity is different because of love.

A Praying Life is a book full of encouraging perspectives. Paul Miller invites us into his home and family life to encounter what he's learned about God, prayer, and himself. And he's not one to shy away from the conundrum of "unanswered prayer" that seems to be in contradiction to the promises Jesus made about asking God for what we need and desire. Instead, he unpacks these promises, challenges our faith, and reminds us the story is not over.

When we don't receive what we pray for or desire, it doesn't mean that God isn't acting on our behalf. Rather, he's weaving his story. Paul tells us to "continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving" (Colossians 4:2). Thanksgiving helps us to be grace-centered, seeing all of life as a gift. It looks at how God's blessings impact our lives. Watchfulness alerts us to the unfolding drama in the present. It looks for God's present working as it unfolds into future grace. ...

When the story isn't going your way, ask yourself, What is God doing? Be on the lookout for strange gifts. God loves to surprise us with babies in swaddingly clothes lying in mangers. Sometimes when we say "God is silent," what's really going on is that he hasn't told us the story the way we wanted it told. ... Living in unfinished stories draw us into God's final act, the return of Jesus.

I read A Praying Life in small bites, savoring biblical truths that needed to soak deeply into my soul. Like every believer I know, I am always convicted of my prayerlessness when I read books like this one. Self-sufficiency is a huge temptation for American Christians, from my observation. Though this book convicted me again, it was not condemning to read. Instead, I was highly encouraged to think of my prayers as part of the grand narrative that God is creating. He is using my requests and my efforts in petitioning Him to conform me to the image of Christ. More importantly, He is teaching me how to love. As Miller writes, "How would you love someone without prayer? I mean, what would it look like if you loved someone but couldn't pray for that person? ... Love without being able to pray feels depressing and frustrating, like trying to tie a knot with gloves on. I would be powerless to do the other person any real good. People are far too complicated; the world is far too evil, and my own heart is too off center to be able to love adequately without praying."

I highlighed that passage for the obvious application: If I claim to love someone and I'm not praying for him or her, I'm not truly loving that individual. Love and prayer are bound together in the kingdom of God. A Praying Life is an outstanding resource to "spur one another on toward love and good deeds" (Hebrews 10:24). Highly recommended.

Bloodlines: Race, Cross, and the Christian

I'm wrapping up a week of filming with the Citygate Films team in Minneapolis, where we had the privilege of interviewing John and Noël Piper. While I was here, I had the opportunity to pick up John Piper's newest book, Bloodlines, and to watch the introductory documentary about it. As soon as I opened it, I was hooked. 

The book opens with an important prologue titled, "Martin Luther King, Jr.: What Was It Like For Those Who Weren't There?" Then it transitions to a more personal voice as Piper reflects on his personal history growing up in the segregated town of Greenville, SC, and now as a pastor of a multiethnic urban church. Those personal reflections then segue into an exploration of the power of the gospel and the roots of racial strife. After laying this foundation, Piper then moves into the heart of his argument: the creation of one new humanity by the blood of Christ and what this should look like in practical, daily application. He writes: "What I have tried to do in this book is show that the gospel of Jesus Christ--the death and the resurrection of the Son of God for sinners--is the only sufficient power for this effort, and the only power that in the end will bring the bloodlines of race into the single bloodline of the cross."

I highly recommend you invest 18 minutes to watch this well-produced short documentary that introduces the book and check out the introduction, which you can read online for free. Then get a copy of Bloodlines for yourself. I can guarantee it will incite you to think more deeply and more biblically on this topic.

UPDATE: I know of several churches, including my own, that are going through this book together to foster open, honest discussions about perspectives on race. I encourage you to consider using this fine resource at your own church, too. If you have any testimonies to offer about such a study, please post a comment below!

 

The Message of Ephesians

When I was a brand-new Christian, the first book of the Bible that I studied was Ephesians, because my church was teaching through it. I remember being struck by the vibrant church community that was described in this epistle. Paul almost seems giddy as he bounces back and forth between the soaring praise and prayers in this book to the instructions on how to love and bear with one another in the church. They way he described life together in the church and in the family was compelling.

I also encountered one of my "life verses" in Ephesians, a standard for godly speech that both rebuked and inspired me: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Eph. 4:29 NIV). When year later I started reading the ESV, I was reminded even more strongly of the impact of my words on others:  "... that it may give grace to those who hear." I had that verse taped on my mirror for years so that I would be reminded to curb my tongue.

Recently I've been immersed in Ephesians once again through the Bible study written by my friend, Wendy Alsup, called By His Wounds You Are Healed: How the Message of Ephesians Transforms a Woman's Identity. This 35-chapter study on Ephesians is designed to be marked up, reflected upon, and thoroughly digested. As Wendy writes at the beginning of the study:

Written from prison around A.D. 60, Ephesians is unique among Paul's letters because he is not addressing a specific doctrinal or sin issue in the church there. Unlike 1 Corinthians in which some guy is sleeping with his step-mother or Galatians in which Peter is tolerating a legalistic view of the gospel, Paul gets to talk to the church at Ephesus about the big picture of the benefits of Christ's sacrifice for us on the cross and the way that impacts our entire lives. The book reflects a very connected, coherent thought process from beginning to end. Each thought builds succinctly on the previous thought, and context means everything in Ephesians. Unlike Proverbs, where you can pull two or three verses out and prepare an accurate, concise lesson from them, no piece of Ephesians can be pulled out and accurately handled without clearly examining the whole book.

As expected, Wendy takes readers through an in-depth, passage-upon-passage examination of the beauty of Ephesians. I've underlined and starred many segments of the book, but one comment that hit me profoundly was something Wendy wrote about the maturity of the Body of Christ as described in Ephesians 4:13-16.

In dealing with our Christian community, it is essential we keep our eye on the prize--the end result of the Body of Christ growing together in unity and maturity in the true knowledge of God. As the daughter of a cotton farmer, I remember a farming illustration I heard growing up. If a farmer wanted to plow a straight line for a row of crops, he needed to keep his eye on a fixed point at the end of the row. If he looked down where he was, he would make a crooked line. But if he kept his eye on the spot that he wanted to reach at the end, he would maintain a straight line for his row of crops. This is a helpful illustration for us as we deal with issues and relationships within the Body of Christ, the Church. We have to keep our eye on the goal. What is the end result of all God is doing now? It is a church that is unified in the faith and the knowledge of God, measuring up to the stature of Christ. God is moving us toward the goal of Christian maturity in which we are no longer weak Christians easily deceived by every new doctrinal error. We will be a Body that works together in harmony and unity, each part doing its job. And what does fully realized Christian maturity look like? It looks like Christ (v. 13)!

As we discussed before, the Church is NOT there yet, but God calls us to choose the proper place to fix our focus. He calls us to focus squarely on the goal to which he is conforming his Body. We are not to focus on all the ways the Church fails him and us now. I am not suggesting we stick our head in the sand and ignore her failings. That is not Christian unity either. But I am saying that our perspective on the current failings of the Church must be informed by the end result that God promises he will accomplish--a beautiful, mature Body steadfast in correct doctrine where members work together and support each other. Knowing where we are going is a great help to making choices now on how to respond to current struggles.

Amen and amen. I know everyone who is currently part of a local church can nod in agreement. We can see the failings, sins, and weaknesses all around us because we're part of them. But if we keep our eyes on the author and perfecter of our faith, we will rejoice in what God will accomplish. Don't look down and create crooked lines. Look at the end goal with eyes of faith and pray we attain to the fullness of Christ.

Obviously I highly recommend this study. I also recommend that if you aren't already familiar with Wendy's writing, you check out her blog, Practical Theology for Women.

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption

In hindsight, it may not have been the best choice for a beach read. But during my recent vacation, I packed Unbroken (in real book form!) to read without interruption while listening to the waves roll in. The subtitle of this book is "A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption." While lounging at the pool cabana, I almost forgot my surroundings as I read a horrifying story of one man's experience as a Japanese prisoner-of-war. It was more gruesome than I anticipated, but also more edifying.

I also noticed I wasn't the only one reading it. I spotted it a few times on various beach chairs.

While two-thirds of the book is about survival of some of the most tragic circumstances, the redemption eventually does come along! I am writing about it here because I think younger generations need to understand the incredible scale of sacrifice that World War II demanded. It's also a hopeful read for any current veterans who are struggling with PTSD. (The first of many spoiler alerts: While the gospel is not clearly articulated, the broad concept is in the book and it could open the door for ministry.)

Unbroken is the story of Louis Zamperini, an Olympic athlete whose athletic fame actually made it far worse for him as a POW. It is also the story of the quiet providence of God, working all circumstances together for the good of those who will eventually bow their knees before the Almighty. As resilient as God made Louis Zamperini to be (he is still alive at this writing), He also graced author Laura Hillenbrand with the taut prose of high adventure. Her persistent research rewards the reader with myriad visual details and concurrent references to other historical events that place Zamperini's personal experience in the turbulent context of the 20th century. 

Though it's not necessary to know anything about the author, before I read Unbroken I had read several other press accounts about Hillenbrand's own resilience in her struggle with chronic fatigue. No doubt this helped shape the tone and perspective of this incredible narrative, imbuing it with a vivid, indelible empathy that keeps the reader in suspense even if the end of the story is already familiar.

I recommend Unbroken without hesitation, but especially for those who think they are close to breaking with their own life circumstances. It can be hard to believe God is in the deepest, darkest moments of one's life until you see the traces of providence in the suffering of another. We owe much to those who fought against two aggressors with world-dominating plans in World War II; this book highlights how greatly we are indebted for our freedoms today.

 

Uncompromising

It's fitting that Brett Harris wrote the foreword for Hannah Farver's new book, Uncompromising: A Heart Claimed by a Radical Love. Not only is the co-founder of the movement calling young adults to "do hard things" a friend of Hannah's, he is also a co-laborer with her in the rallying cry to make your life count for something substantial. And from my perspective, it's incredibly encouraging to read the wisdom and grace that these young authors have in their books.

I've gotten to know Hannah a bit from the conference and blog circuit over the past few years and when she asked me to write an endorsement for her book, I was glad to consider it. But after I read the manuscript, I couldn't wait for the book to come out. There were a number of young women I wanted to read it, so I was eager to endorse it:

I've read plenty of outstanding books on the subject of bold, faithful femininity--but all were geared toward adult women. With Uncompromising, Hannah Farver supplies a well-written, engaging book that is a hearty embrace of all God intends for female Christ-followers who are entering their adult years. But unlike many other materials for young adults, this book is not patronizing or shallow. Rather, it sets a high bar for the passions and hopes that young women have--and points readers to the Cause that is worth it all.

Hannah has an endearing writing style that is at once personal and meaty. A chapter titled, "Please Drill This Into My Head," addresses the various forms of legalism that can entrap each of us. This is followed by a chapter titled "The Beauty Cause," which reminds girls that a perennial self-focus can distract you from the vastly more important issue of worship. In a chapter titled, "'Cause You Need More Than a Guy," Hannah gets right to the point on the first page: "We can start thinking that life is all about finding the 'one,' rather than loving the One who gave us the ability to love in the first place."

These are just a few of the nuggets here for teen girls and young women. Definitely worth your time to check it out!

Feminine Threads: Women in the Tapestry of Christian History

As I wrote for an endorsement of Diana Severance's new book, Feminine Threads: Women in the Tapestry of Christian History, this book "is a must-read for men and women alike, but especially so for young women who need to have a clear view of the contributions that women before them have made to the Christian faith." 

As an historian, Dr. Severance says it better herself in the preface: 

Christian women were integral to the life of the Church wherever Christianity spread, but what we know of their stories is limited by the sources that have survived. There is often more we would like to know about Christian women in various geographical places and times in history. Always there are the numerous ‘common’ people in the lower and middle classes whose stories frequently are unwritten and remain unknown. Yet, the history of women in Christian history does not need a revisionist makeover. We do not need to recreate an imagined narrative out of speculative evidence. Nor do we write histories – of commoners or of so-called elite – based on what we would have liked for them to have been. Neither do we seek to superimpose contemporary thought patterns and standards on earlier societies. Though at times the evidence might raise unanswered questions, or we might wish the facts to be different, the truth of the story of women in Christian history inspires, challenges and, above all, demonstrates the grace of God producing much fruit through Christian women throughout two millennia of the Church.

The book is structured in chronological order, starting with the women of the New Testament era, progressing through the early church and late antiquity, the early and late Middle Ages, the Reformation, and on through to the 20th century. It ties women to the historical and theological movements of their day, putting them in the context of their eras. Dr. Severance quotes these women in their own words from their correspondence, diaries, and various publications. The net effect is to learn about the bold influence many women had in the cause of Christ. Or to learn that things we see as benign today were more controversial at their inception, such as Sunday schools:

In 1804, a group of women from various denominations formed a society for the education of poor girls in Philadelphia. When they applied to the state for incorporation in 1808, the Superior Court had to decide whether or not women could make such an application. After due deliberation, the Court decreed that women were ‘citizens of the commonwealth’ and entitled to file such a request! The curriculum for the poor girls included reading, writing, sewing, Scripture memorization, hymns, and the catechism.

The clergy were at first opposed to Sabbath schools for numerous reasons. Many were appalled at the idea of lay people, especially women, teaching the Bible. Some ministers feared the Sunday Schools would undermine their own teaching ministry. Some thought it was breaking the Sabbath to study or teach on Sunday. Others thought Sabbath schools usurped the rights of parents and local churches. Sabbath schools were not a part of the local church and often involved women of various denominations working together. Some held such interdenominational cooperation was dangerous or that church buildings should not be used for the general education of non-members. The very fact that the initiative was undertaken by women caused alarm in some quarters. 

Diana Severance has made a serious contribution to our understanding of women in history, much less Christian history. I highly recommend it.

The Heavens Proclaim His Praise

My friend, Kevin Hartnett, is the author of a new book releasing next week that would make a fabulous Father's Day gift for any man who loves stargazing. The Heavens: Intimate Moments with Your Majestic God is an unusual devotional because it combines photographs of the universe with reflections and poetry written by a man who is NASA's Deputy Science Operations Manager for the Hubble Space Telescope.

The devotionals address topics such as beauty, sovereignty, solitude, justice, love, pride, self-sufficiency and anger. But they also address more complex ideas such as "Glimpsing God in the Andromeda Galaxy" and "Phosphors in the Cosmos." One of my favorite devotions is a poem Kevin wrote, influenced by Spurgeon, called "So I Will Praise Him in the Night." Here is an excerpt:

Shall we then seek that He explain
The circle of His blessing?
Our daily rhythms here maintain
Great patterns there expressing.
For sorrows come until the Day
When Night itself will vanish.
Till Wisdom has its perfect way,
And Light will Darkness banish.

The happy soul is then content
To know that He is faithful,
And through each difficult event
Remembers to be grateful.
For God commands each circumstance
To serve those of His calling.
His care enjoins the nightingale
To sing when dusk is falling.

So I will praise Him in the night,
This globe of sorrows surely turns.
See there His stars of promise bright:
Behold, the light of dawn returns.

 You can pre-order the book at Amazon.

The Organized Heart

I've got another book to recommend to you! It's not only one I read and enjoyed, it's one I endorsed. Here's what I wrote about the latest book from Cruciform Press, a book titled The Organized Heart, by Staci Eastin. 

“Staci Eastin packs a punch with this short book. But it’s a gracious punch, full of insights about our disorganized hearts and lives, which is immediately followed by the balm of gospel-shaped hopes. It is ideally crafted for use with accountability partners and small groups. In fact, because of our common tendencies to either dismiss the obvious or obsess over failure, I’d definitely recommend reading it in tandem with a faithful friend. Because of the Holy Spirit’s active presence, there is always hope for change. Open this book with that great truth in mind and you’ll find much to ponder!”-- Carolyn McCulley, fellow procrastinator and author of Radical Womanhood and Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?

I really mean that: I think this is a great resource for accountability partners and small groups. It's an easy read in the sense that it can be completed in an evening. But there's much to ponder in it, so it's not easily dismissed. Cruciform Press described it this way: 

Most books on organization just add more rules to your life, whether it be another plan, another calendar, or another method. This book will show you a different, better way that is grounded in the grace of God.

Jesus taught that true change doesn’t come by the addition of more rules, but from the inside out, with a change of the heart that only the gospel can bring. When you identify the heart problems behind the chaos in your life, lasting change can happen. This will not only reduce the stress in your life, but help you be more effective in your service to God.

Cruciform makes it easy to obtain their outstanding materials: they are a digital publisher producing resources that are available in print, e-book, or sometimes even audio formats. Definitely worth a visit to see what they've been doing.