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Evangelism

October 26, 2007

'Religion Is the Problem'

I've never wanted to turn into one of those Christians who can't access the shared vocabulary of mainstream culture, a believer whose conversations are laced with Christianese. But oh how hard it is to avoid being steeped in cliches! Last week, as I traveled to Maine and back, I had the immense privilege of explaining the gospel and presenting my conversion testimony numerous times. And each time, I struggled to find a shared reference point and to purge myself of church words.

It started with the airport driver. He was Tunisian and a lapsed Islamic/Christian practitioner. That sounds confusing, but he was raised in both faiths because his father was Muslim and his mother was Catholic. On our way to the airport, we discussed religion. He said that it doesn't matter what religion you are, because all religions lead to God. And religion is at the root of our problems, anyway. All the major wars were because of religion. So that's why he is not religious. I acknowledged his thinking but then was able to offer my viewpoint that all of our wars are because of our sin and that's why we all need a Savior who can rescue us from the penalty for and consequences of sin. We had a respectful exchange and I learned much about Tunisia, but that conversation set the tone for the week.

Over the next several days, I was able to talk about the gospel with a Dutch man, a French woman, and two Americans--all non-religious people. I was also able to talk a little bit about faith with a lapsed Hindu from India. Then at the airport on the way home, I was picked up by yet another Tunisian driver, an active Muslim, and we had the same conversation. What fascinated me was how nearly identical these conversations were. On one hand, I was grateful to meet these folks and learn from them. They were all uniformly gracious and even genuinely interested, to a point. On the other hand, I couldn't help but notice that they faithfully repeated similar ideas. It seems that the "prince of this age" has been spreading the same propaganda: all religions lead to God so it doesn't matter which one you choose; religion itself leads to war and is responsible for all wars; and you can be spiritual in your own way as you define it.

So it's interesting to be in a conversation where I and my beliefs are seen to be the reason for so much trouble in this world, whereas I see myself as an object of mercy before a holy and just God. Sometimes our perspectives never seemed to find common ground. A few people objected to Christians evangelizing others. Why couldn't religion just be a private matter? Well, some belief systems structurally can't adapt to that view. With one man, I tried to explain why Christians are commissioned to spread what we know to be the good news of mercy and salvation. It's intellectually dishonest to call oneself a Christian and not talk about it. Our very belief system is predicated upon making sure others know about Christ's gift of forgiveness and salvation. A second man challenged that benevolent description, saying that Christians always have an ulterior motive when talking to others, whether it's the overt, arm-twisting hard-core form of evangelism or the "deceptive" slow-boil of friendship evangelism (his descriptions).

This age is blind to the realities of sin and hell. If you don't acknowledge them, then a Savior doesn't seem to be a big deal. No wonder people yawn at the idea of salvation. If Christianity is marketed as a parody of current culture ("I heart Jesus" or "Got Jesus?"), then there's nothing unique about our claims. Christianity can be seen as a kind of annoying hobby, and always a late adopter at that. Or if Christianity is sold as a self-help system ("your best life ever"), then anyone who is content with their own life has no incentive to check out the Christianized version.

But in a post-modern age still in love with narrative, we have our conversion stories to tell. This was what people seemed willing to hear and consider on this trip. But if it's billed as a "look at all I have now" prosperity story, or a "woe was me with all my unfulfilled emotional needs" story, I would think we squander a precious opportunity to talk about sin and the unmerited and powerful grace of God. The point of our narrative should not be how much better our lives are with Christ (as true as that is!)--but rather how we became aware of our sinful state and our need to be rescued from it. Other people need to understand that sin is real, it's objective, and it's thoroughly corrupting. The good news of Christ's redemption won't make any sense if the problem of sin is not presented and examined.

I read an article today in Forbes that said GodTube is the single fastest-growing site on the Web. I applaud GodTube's goals to promote faith and to filter out profane or sexual references. Certainly I had no qualms about poking around on GodTube, unlike YouTube. But one quick glance at the current list of most-viewed videos on there reveals a mix of current culture parodies (Christian versions of the Mac vs. PC ad campaigns, for example), music videos, and comedy bits. Where is the power of video to talk about the Divine Rescue?

That's why I am grateful that my church posted the conversion story of Tom and Michelle Herbert. It's a simple video presentation--two people about to get baptized in an unglamorous baptismal font--but the narrative is powerful. For anyone who has given up hope that a loved one in the clutches of addiction can be set free, this testimony will revive your hope and faith. This is Christ's triumph over crack cocaine and homelessness. When the Herberts were baptized, the congregation rose for a thunderous standing ovation. We weren't applauding them, but the power of God to resurrect sinners to life everlasting!

May 24, 2006

Gospel Eyes

If the Lord is gracious and grants a long life, most women will have a season of bearing and rearing children followed by a season nearly as long investing in others in a more diffuse way. I understand that transition can be disorienting for some women. But being an empty-nester doesn't need to feel empty if you look at life with "gospel eyes." There are young women in the church who need encouragement and mentoring--and there are unbelievers everywhere else in life who need to hear the gospel. The Great Commission continues!

GracechurchsdThat's why I was particulary encouraged to read Rondi Lauterbach's musings on her husband's blog, Gospel Driven Life. Here's an excerpt:

What keeps me from seeking the lost? At least half the time the answer is that I don’t even see them. I often don’t see the person in front of me as lost. I barely even see him as a person. I may see him as an interruption or an obstacle or a means to my ends for the day. I may see him as a “sinner” and label the sin without a second thought. I may even see him as my evangelism project. But person?
“Gospel eyes” is the expression my husband has coined to encapsulate the way we need to see people for the sake of the gospel mission. I find that so helpful. As I read the gospels, I am amazed at how Jesus saw people who would have been invisible to me. The widow of Nain would have been lost to me in the crowd of noisy mourners. My eye probably would have been drawn to the corpse of her son or distracted by the wailing women. The hemorrhaging woman would have completely escaped my attention in the rush to help the synagogue official’s son. Even Pilate, during his interrogation at the trial, would have been invisible to me in my fear of what he was about to do. Jesus, perfectly in tune with the Father, saw each of these in their created dignity and tragic fallenness. Because he saw them, he didn’t miss the opportunity to seek them.

No matter what season of life you are in today, there are plenty of people standing near you who need to be seen through "gospel eyes"! I trust Rondi's perspective will be a blessing to you.

March 28, 2006

Odds Are We Are Unique

I'm going to make a radical departure from the prior discussions of cooking, cleaning, and home-ownership today. Instead, I'm going to recommend an article from the March 2006 Christianity Today magazine about astronomy and math.

Hey, don't click away just yet!

469691_green_blackboardI'm quite serious. And you need to know that this is the recommendation of a seriously math-impaired person. I do words. I do colors. I do perception and theory. I do not do math. And I am not impressive at science. But lately I've found myself reading books about the history of scientific development--Simon Winchester's fascinating Krakatoa and Dava Sobel's Longitude. These books put scientific exploration and development in the context of the political, cultural, and even religious history of the day and provide the perspective and continuity I need to enjoy and keep reading. Not to mention providing the education I didn't receive/retain as a child.

This is why I'm recommending this article. Even the math-impaired can benefit from the discussion of how theoretical mathematics points away from the popular assumption that there are plenty of habitable planets in this universe and toward the existence of God. As this article states:

Today, numbers from astronomy, biology, and theoretical mathematics point to a rational mind behind the universe. To be sure, they do not point to the personal God of the Bible as such. Yet they are not inimical to the biblical God, either. The apostle John prepared the way for this conclusion when he used the word for logic, reason, and rationality—logos—to describe Christ at the beginning of his Gospel: "In the beginning was the logos, and the logos was with God, and the logos was God." When we think logically, which is the goal of mathematics, we are led to think of God.

If you have non-Christian friends who are interested in science, this article could start an interesting conversation. But I think you will also find it bolsters your faith and expands your knowledge base. To read the rest, visit Christianity Today's website for "God by the Numbers."

November 02, 2005

Evangelism Encouragement

We can all have the attention spans of gnats at times, and unfortunately that's even true in the middle of a church service. There are numerous reasons for that (self-centered sins, worldly distractions, anxieties, etc.), but I'm immensely grateful for those moments when the Holy Spirit grabs me and says, "Pay attention! This is GREAT teaching." Such a moment happened for me this past weekend. My singles pastor, Eric Simmons, was giving the third and final message in a series titled "Invest and Invite." I was locked on throughout the entire sermon as he encouraged us to grow in our practice of evangelism. I also appreciated his own candid stories about battling selfishness or fear of man when evangelistic opportunities presented themselves.

During the sermon, Eric also recommended a book titled Questioning Evangelism by Randy Newman. I immediately trekked to our church bookstore to get it. I've added it to the list of recommended books on this blog, too.

To listen for yourself, visit Covenant Life's website and download the October 30th message. I guarantee it's worth your time!

October 26, 2005

A Cash-Register Witness

It seems God is calling me to be a cash-register witness.

Having said that, I have to admit that I prefer to shop online because the service is generally more knowledgeable and friendly than the majority of retail stores. The search engine can always find the item I'm looking for and it knows when something is on sale or not. The online shopping carts move along as fast as I can process their commands. So when I do venture into a brick-and-mortar store, I'm nearly always tested. Will I return kindness for surliness? Will I return patience for incompetence? Will I be gracious to a fellow human being who may not be a native speaker (in the D.C. area, at least), who probably didn't receive much training, and who has been the brunt of others' anger and impatience for the previous six hours? Over the last few years, I've felt the Holy Spirit's check when I've been tempted to be unkind to retail clerks. And though I've not always responded obediently, He has been faithful to remind me in each instance.

Earlier this year, as I was waiting on my purchase to be rung up, I felt the Lord was highlighting the clerk to me. I don't mean with a physical spotlight. I mean that sensation of being impressed to look and really notice another person. The thought came to mind that this woman had been wondering if God was real. I sensed the Holy Spirit wanted me to share this impression with her and give her a invitation to my church. As she slowly rang up the items, I felt a nervous adrenaline surge as I contemplated how silly I would look. But no one was waiting in line behind me and thus I had no excuse to dismiss this prompting. When she handed me my receipt, I smiled and told her I had the impression she had been wondering if God was real. I assured her He was and that He was mindful of her, and offered her an invitation to an outreach event at my church where she could learn more. She was hard to read. She didn't smile or frown. She mumbled thanks and turned away. I thought I detected a jolt of surprise in her eyes, but I didn't linger to ask further questions. Exhaling, I headed for the door.

As I loaded my packages in my car, I realized I'd left my sunglasses in the store. It was now after closing time, so I had to walk back to the store and bang on the door. Great. Crazy Church Lady, Part Two. She came to the door with a smile and handed me my glasses. I made a joke about it and left. It wasn't a gospel presentation at all, but I hoped I had planted a small seed and that the Lord would give the growth in the future.

Fast forward to this week and I'm in the same store again. Much to my dismay, that clerk is not there. And this time I'm returning clothes. It's a vexing process because the tags don't seem to be matching the receipt. Then the clerk announces that two pairs of pants aren't on the receipt. She insists that I must have purchased those items separately, but I knew I hadn't. Eventually it becomes clear to both of us that the previous clerk hadn't rung them up before putting them in the bag.

"Are you sure you just don't want to keep them?" she asked. "That's what most people would do."

"Well, no. I didn't pay for them. And even if I had, I still would want to return them," I replied.

"I can't believe it. There aren't many people who would be so honest. You're a good person," she stated.

"Well, thanks for your kind comments," I said, wincing as I felt the proverbial poke in the ribs from the Holy Spirit. I cleared my throat and started again. "But really it's what the Lord Jesus Christ would want me to do. I want to reflect well on Him because of His mercy to me."

"Yeah, well, like I said, most people would keep the free stuff," she reiterated as I dug around in my purse looking for a church invitation. Nothing. Rats. That's what I get for switching purses at the last minute.

"God is looking out for you; this is just a small expression of His care for you," I said with a smile as the next woman began loading her purchases on the counter in front of me--her cue that I needed to move on. In gratitude, the clerk gave me a special discount coupon for my next purchase.

Tonight, another test. I needed shoes for an event this weekend and didn't have much time to shop. I entered the store praying, asking the Lord to help me. I'm serious. Some shoe fashions just aren't compatible with women "of a certain age," as the French say--the medical bills for tortured feet and lower backs aren't worth it anymore. I'm not ready for orthopedic shoes, but I'm getting too old (too smart?) to think it doesn't matter what I'm doing to my body when I'm walking around cantilevered at odd angles on squished toes. And God was faithful to answer my prayer. I spotted the perfect boots within five minutes.

With my gift certificate in hand, I stood in line with my selection waiting for my turn. The clerk seemed distracted but I didn't think much of it until I checked my receipt on the way out the door. Even with the gift certificate, $12 seemed too low for a pair of boots and several pairs of cashmere socks. Sure enough, the boots weren't on the receipt. It's an epidemic! For a split second, I was tempted to walk on out that door. It wasn't my fault the boots were free. But the Hound of Heaven would have nothing of it. Back I went. There was a long line at the register. Of course.

"I'm sorry," I said to the clerk. "But it appears that you neglected to ring up my boots."

Everyone in line was staring at me. So was the clerk. She didn't react immediately. "Do you think you could fix that for me?" I asked.

"Honey, that is something else," said the customer at the head of the line. "You did good."

"Thank you, but it's what the Lord Jesus Christ would want me to do. I want to honor Him, especially because of all He has done for me, " I said, the words coming much easier with the increased practice of late . . .


October 17, 2005

'Beyond the Gates of Splendor'

A documentary that has been making the rounds in church circles is now available to consumers--Beyond the Gates of Splendor. It tells the famous story of the five missionaries who went to Ecuador in the '50s to evangelize the Auca/Waodani tribe and were murdered, a story made popular to many through Elisabeth Elliot's account in Through the Gates of Splendor. I bought the DVD and watched it last night. Since I have spent many years in video and film production, I know how difficult it is to make a creative documentary about a topic without a lot of archival footage. This production company did a good job with the production values.

When the documentary ended, however, I felt unsatisfied. The gospel had been gutted from the story. It wasn't even clear that the Waodani had become Christians or had established churches of their own. An airplane of their own, yes. But pastors or elders? Not so much. Puzzled, I got online and looked for reviews that would help me understand this editorial choice. Christianity Today ran a review earlier this month that only lightly touched on this concern. So I kept digging around. A CT April interview with producer Mart Green revealed this to be intentional:

Q: Beyond the Gates isn't real in your face with Jesus and the gospel. Was that intentional?

Green: Very intentional. The world doesn't want to hear that kind of stuff, but I think when you tell the story just as it happened, it works. We didn't tell the Waodoni not to say things. We didn't tell them what to say. We just said, "Tell the story."

I respectfully disagree with Mr. Green. I don't think it works. I think it is a puzzling account. You don't have to be coy to avoid being "in your face." There is a wide middle ground where the facts of the gospel's influence on this tribe could have been explained without being pompous or didactic. Green would like churches to show this documentary and then attend the theatrical release of the feature film, End of the Spear, as an outreach. But by avoiding the topic all together, it leaves nothing for the believer to talk about with the unbeliever. The Christian has to fill in all kinds of the back story for the non-Christian, who could simply respond, "Oh, yeah? The movie didn't make any mention of all that. Are you sure you've got that right?" The motivation for such a drastic change among this tribe is only implied, which is a weakness in any production. Motives are important for a compelling story, and as such this documentary falls flat.

I hope the feature film is more confident in God and doesn't shy away from the gospel, but as it comes from the same production group I'm not betting on it. For those who know the backstory from Elisabeth Elliot's perspective, this is an interesting documentary as it is told through another participant's perspective--Steve Saint, the son of Nate Saint who was one of the five murdered missionaries. For that reason, it is definitely worth watching. It is also obviously a labor of love and so I commend all those who financed and worked on it. They could have been doing many other things with their talents and treasure and this was a worthwhile investment. I can also recommend it to others because, as my pastors have taught me to evaluate my entertainment choices, I could thank God for this movie when it was over. But I'm able to do so because I know His part in this account. I'm not sure what or who unbelievers will want to credit when it's over, which is the only--and major--weak link in this production.

August 13, 2005

Standing Up for the Persecuted: The Difference One Single Woman Makes

Friday morning I rushed into a staff meeting with a myriad mundane concerns occupying my thoughts, most of them centered on myself--what I needed to do, what meetings I had to attend, what deadlines I was facing. I left the same meeting 90 minutes later awestruck, tear-streaked and seriously adjusted in my perspective. For on that morning, our staff at Sovereign Grace Ministries heard from one of the groups we supported through our tsunami disaster relief fund. This group works in Indonesia and the man who leads this particular organization gave a compelling hour-long talk about the persecution Christians are experiencing in Islamic Indonesia--events that span the last seven years and in many ways were the warning signs of 9/11 and the London subway bombings. Though the situation is very grim, this man also gave a glorious testimony of how the Lord responds to the prayers of His people and how the church is not defeated in the face of such a determined enemy.

Sovereign Grace is a church-planting ministry with a growing international family of churches, but we don't yet have any churches in Indonesia. The reason we knew of this organization was because of a fruitful single woman who is a member of one of our churches. Ann Buwalda is the founder and director of Jubilee Campaign USA. As described on their website, this group promotes the human rights and religious liberty of ethnic and religious minorities in countries which imprison, terrorize, or otherwise oppress them. They advocate the release of prisoners of conscience and the change of laws as necessary to affect these purposes. Jubilee also advocates against the exploitation of children with particular attention to the sex industry in Asia.

Ann founded Jubilee Campaign USA more than ten years ago to lobby Congress on behalf of those suffering religious persecution and human rights violations. She actively travels overseas to promote religious tolerance, handles certain cases involving religious asylum seekers, and promotes and supports (financially) children's rights internationally.

I had heard her name for many years, but never had the pleasure of meeting her until Friday. I was able to grab about a half-hour with her after the meeting to ask further questions, offer a few meager ways to help, and encourage her. I was amazed by what the Lord has accomplished through Ann. We are almost the same age, but the way she has invested her life has literally touched thousands of others around the world. I'm sure if she read this, she would protest that evaluation and point to the team she works with as the ones who've made that possible. In one sense that no doubt is true--and it is all of grace either way. But in another, it's also the result of her faithful response to her Lord's claim on her life. She told us in this meeting that though she would like to be married, she is completely fulfilled in serving the Lord this way.

Since that meeting, I've been pondering a few things. One, how serious the opposition toward Christianity truly is, both in this nation where Christianity is being forced out of the mainstream culture and marginalized as politically incorrect, and in other nations where believers are facing imprisonment and death for their faith. I wonder if there is another tsunami headed from Indonesia toward our shores that is far more devastating than a wall of water. I wonder which events we will look back upon and belatedly comprehend their significance, just like those near the Indian Ocean did last December: "Wow, the ocean has receded...I wonder why?" Two, there are a lot of single Christians who want to know just what we are supposed to be doing with our lives. What if the Lord wants to make a similar claim on us? Would we see the Lord's redemptive purposes in our singleness and accept His call to advance the gospel in such a sacrificial way?

I am seriously provoked by these ideas. And I would be the first to confess that I simply want to get married, make a comfortable home for a wonderful man, and enjoy a peaceful life full of God's abundant blessings. But in light of the current circumstances, would I then be guilty of the charge found in Ezekiel 16:49? It reads, "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." Just to be clear, I'm not saying that getting married to a wonderful man and enjoying a peaceful life full of God's blessings is bad. But if that's all I think about or pray about, am I "arrogant, overfed and unconcerned"?

I would appeal to my fellow "singletons" to visit Jubilee's website and read over the items there, including the list of prisoners of conscience. Then pray for Ann, her Jubilee Campaign colleagues, and these brothers and sisters in prison. I mean, really pray. There are Christians alive today in Indonesia because when an urgent plea was emailed during a violent assault against their village, people around the globe interceded and our God, who is rich in mercy and abounding in steadfast love, stayed the hand of evil. We may never completely understand the complexities of prayer this side of heaven, but in some senses it is both the least and the most we can do. (In particular, please pray for three Christian women who are on trial in Indonesia for allegedly converting Muslim children to Christianity. As the Jubilee Campaign reports, a guilty verdict in this case could have serious ramifications in a country that has already seen a great deal of inter-religious violence in recent years. Over the past seven years, more than 10,000 people have died, 40,000 houses and 1000 churches have been destroyed and 700,000 people have been forced to flee their villages.)

And if the Lord leads us to do more, then hallelujah. Most certainly it is a far better investment of our time, thoughts, energy, and finances than the vast majority of our singles activities, if we are to be honest.

August 11, 2005

Evangelizing Women

I'm currently working on a new message topic--one that explores the impact of feminist thinking on women in the church. It's a weighty and sobering topic, especially for a former feminist like myself. While I've been doing this, I've been pondering why I have this impression that women are increasingly harder to reach with the gospel. A new book by Thom Rainer, The Unchurched Next Door, unfortunately confirms some of my thinking. Here's an excerpt from a review by Dr. Albert Mohler:

The Unchurched Next Door represents a massive research project based in a national survey. From the onset, Rainer was determined to force Christians to look at the unchurched all around them. "Most of the unchurched are your neighbors, your coworkers whom you know well, and even your family members," he explains. "That is why we call them 'the unchurched next door.' They have much in common with us. Many of them have your moral values. Most are not antichurch or antireligion. They are very much like you--except that they are lost without Christ."

After interviewing thousands of unchurched Americans, the Rainer research team looked for patterns in the profiles. Based on the results, Rainer suggested five different levels of responsiveness to the gospel. "U1" identifies unchurched Americans who are highly receptive to hearing and believing the good news. They know something about Christianity, and have a positive attitude toward the church. "U2" individuals are receptive to the gospel and willing to hear a message from the church. Those categorized as "U3" are identified as neutral, "with no clear signs of being interested, yet perhaps open to discussion." The "U4" group demonstrates resistance to the gospel but no antagonism. The most unresponsive group in the population is identified as "U5" The most secular Americans are "highly antagonistic and even hostile to the gospel."

Given the contours of post-Christian America, many believers would assume that the U5 category would include a large number of our fellow citizens. That assumption is not sustained by the facts. Rainer's research indicates that the U5 category fits only about five percent of the American population. Most unchurched Americans are grouped in the central three categories. Those already friendly to the church, the U1s, comprise eleven percent of the population, serving as something of a bookend to the U5s.

The majority of the unchurched fit the middle categories, with 27% listed as U2, 36% as U3, and 21% as U4. As Rainer summarizes, "Most of the unchurched are not antichurch or anti-Christian." By and large, they have had little contact with Christianity, and are not highly motivated when it comes to issues of faith and belief.

In reviewing the research, Rainer and his team came to some surprising conclusions. First of all, most Americans have never been invited to church--never. Yet, 82% indicated that they would be at least "somewhat likely" to attend church if invited. As Rainer comments, "Only twenty-one percent of active church goers invite anyone to church in the course of a year. But only two percent of church members invite an unchurched person to church." He concludes: "Perhaps the evangelistic apathy so evident in so many of our churches can be explained by a simple laziness on the part of church members in inviting others to church."

One of the most devastating insights drawn from the research is the fact that most unchurched Americans feel themselves safe from the evangelistic reach of believing Christians. They do not sense that Christians are seeking actively to share the gospel with them, and many nonbelievers are actually wondering what makes Christians so reticent to talk about their faith. Furthermore, most of the unchurched indicate that their Christian friends have little actual influence on their lives.

The withdrawal of men from participation in many churches has led a good many researchers to believe that men are most highly resistant to the gospel. This is also born out by a great deal of experience in local churches. Nevertheless, Rainer's research indicates that most men are grouped in the middle categories, and show relatively low levels of interest in the gospel--either positive or negative. Indeed, this research indicates that unchurched Americans classified in U5--the most antagonistic category--are more likely to be women. As a matter of fact, women tended to predominate in both U1 and U5, perhaps indicating that women are more likely to place a high value on the issue of faith, and thus tend to be more passionately Christian or secular.

Unsurprisingly, Rainer also discovered that the U5s tend to be more highly educated, more wealthy, and more condescending toward the Bible than other Americans. This group is marked by an anti-supernatural bias combined with a secular lifestyle. One woman interviewed for the project said simply, "I have no need for the Bible. The Bible was written for very simple people. It was written to give moral and ethical guidance to uneducated people".

While it's sobering to read that more women than men are antagonistic to the gospel, it's more sobering in my opinion to read that so many unbelievers, men and women, have never been invited to church. It makes me evaluate how faithful I've been.

You can read more on Al Mohler's commentary.

June 23, 2005

Cancer Is No Hindrance to Outreach

I went with my friend, Madonna (no, not that one), to the hospital today. What's amazing about this trip is that she is recovering from major cancer surgery. The procedure was Tuesday and she was released Wednesday. On Thursday--her first full day at home--Madonna wanted to go back to the hospital. Her reason? She wanted to reach out to the other woman who was her hospital roommate, a survivor of brain cancer. So we headed to the hospital with roses and church invitations. As we were getting ready to leave, we offered to pray for Madonna's new friend. The patient who replaced Madonna in the hospital bed heard this and eagerly invited herself for prayer, too. So there we stood, holding hands with two strangers, praying for God's mercy in a cramped hospital room. I am confident that the Holy Spirit was working in every one of us at that moment.

Madonna's selflessness is amazing. I've seen God's sanctifying work in her life through this trial of recurring cancer. But to look at her, you'd never know it's been a tough few years. Instead of turning inward and indulging self-pity, Madonna has learned to trust her Savior and continue to serve others. She's not perfect--and I'm not trying to write a gushing bio of a good friend. But she's commendable. And I want to emulate her in any future trials.

Books Worth Buying

  • Joshua Harris: Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World

    Joshua Harris: Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World
    Everyone struggles with sinful sexual temptation. Everyone. So what can you do about it? Josh Harris candidly explains how to untangle God's good gift of sex from the issues of lust and sexual sin. A great book for both men and women!

  • Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, Janelle Bradshaw: Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed

    Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, Janelle Bradshaw: Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed
    This is a short book with a lot of wisdom. At under 100 pages, it won't take a lot of time to read. But the eternal perspective on time management that it contains will be well worth the investment.

  • Dave Harvey: When Sinners Say "I Do": Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage

    Dave Harvey: When Sinners Say "I Do": Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage
    Dave brings a humorous and light touch to a heavy subject, creating a winsome and appealing approach to an important topic. Dave spends the first four chapters addressing the doctrine of sin and why we need to have a healthy suspicion of our own hearts and motives before seeking to address the hearts and motives of others. But some of the greatest "gold" is found in chapters five and six, when Dave addresses mercy and forgiveness. Recommended for everyone--you don't need to be married to learn from this book how to live redemptively in close relationships.

  • John Ensor: Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart

    John Ensor: Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart
    A basic, user-friendly guide on the weighty matters of romance and the roles of men and women. Highly readable, concise guidance on how men and women can find lasting romance and enduring friendships.

  • Timothy S. Lane and Paul D. Tripp: How People Change

    Timothy S. Lane and Paul D. Tripp: How People Change
    This book helps Christians understand the roots of problems that are bearing bad fruit in their lives. Then it shows how the gospel can exchange bad roots for good roots--and good fruit. A gracious and encouraging book for anyone weary of trying to change through sheer willpower alone.

  • Tim Lane and Paul Tripp: Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

    Tim Lane and Paul Tripp: Relationships: A Mess Worth Making
    I love this title! The mess is because of our sin and self-centered drives. The worth comes from what God is doing among our relationships. There are so many excellent insights in this book--I recommend it for everyone. Though we tend to think romance when we hear the word "relationship," this book addresses a far broader scope with graciousness and biblical truth.

  • Gary & Betsy Ricucci: Love That Lasts: When Grace Meets Marriage

    Gary & Betsy Ricucci: Love That Lasts: When Grace Meets Marriage
    This is the second edition of a book I first read as a new believer. It was the first book I ever read on marriage and its gracious and encouraging approach made an indelible mark. This revised edition is even meatier and more winsome than the first. Highly recommended for singles and marrieds alike.

  • C. H. Spurgeon: The Triumph of Faith in a Believer's Life

    C. H. Spurgeon: The Triumph of Faith in a Believer's Life
    This collection of Spurgeon's writings spans faith's sure foundations to what mature faith looks like. It is both inspiring and practical, and will revive the flickering embers of faith in any reader's soul.

  • Henry T. Blackaby, Richard Blackaby: Hearing God's Voice

    Henry T. Blackaby, Richard Blackaby: Hearing God's Voice
    This book expands on many of the principles found in Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby's highly successful book from the mid-'90s. It reminds us that we are here to serve God's purposes and not vice versa, so our prayers should be conformed the same way. The authors help us to discern the voice of God, to identify ways He speaks, and to respond to revelations of His will. An ideal book for those who are seeking God for direction and guidance.

  • C.J. Mahaney: Living the Cross-Centered Life

    C.J. Mahaney: Living the Cross-Centered Life
    It seems that there are many ideas that compete for the attention of single adults. In the end, what we will be commended for has nothing to do with having a 'successful' dating life, a great career, the ability to travel widely, or to own a lot of expensive possessions. It has to do with hearing, 'Well done, good and faithful servant.' This little book keeps us all focused on the One who is our mediator. An outstanding resource for any Christian who feels caught in the "performance trap."

  • John Piper: God Is the Gospel: Meditations on God's Love As the Gift of Himself

    John Piper: God Is the Gospel: Meditations on God's Love As the Gift of Himself
    This compact book argues eloquently that the good news of the Gospel is all the things we normally assume--salvation, justification, propitiation, new heavens and new earth, etc. But the heart of the Gospel is not found in the gifts of God but in God Himself. The good news of the gospel is the enjoyment of the glory of God in Christ. Recommended especially for long-time Christians who may need to be refreshed in the wonder of the Gospel.

  • John MacArthur: NASB MacArthur Study Bible

    John MacArthur: NASB MacArthur Study Bible
    This is the revised edition of Dr. MacArthur's study notes and commentary within the NASB translation. This Bible includes additional supplements on topics such as how we got the Bible, how to study the Bible, and the progress of revelation. An excellent personal study Bible!

  • Paul David Tripp: Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens

    Paul David Tripp: Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens
    Do you think rebellion is automatic in the teen years? It shouldn't be. Paul Tripp's book challenges our assumptions and shows parents how to make the teen years a season of opportunity, instead.

  • Mark Dever: The Message of the New Testament: Promises Kept

    Mark Dever: The Message of the New Testament: Promises Kept
    What a priceless Bible study tool this is! Though Mark is a superb scholar, his evangelist's heart is clearly evident in his accessible writing style. This book is packed with outstanding teaching but it is written in a winsome manner that is free of dense theological terms. The goal of this book is to present an overview of each book of the New Testament so that we can understand how it fits in with the rest of the Bible.

  • John MacArthur: Twelve Extraordinary Women

    John MacArthur: Twelve Extraordinary Women
    The women MacArthur chose as subjects for this book are: Eve, Sarah, Rahab, Ruth, Hannah, Mary, Anna, The Samaritan Woman, Martha and Mary, Mary Magdalene and Lydia. Each chapter goes into the cultural and theological background of these women and then shows how God worked through ordinary women to make their faith and fruit extraordinary. Highly recommended!

  • Nancy Leigh DeMoss, editor: Biblical Womanhood in the Home (Foundations for the Family Series)

    Nancy Leigh DeMoss, editor: Biblical Womanhood in the Home (Foundations for the Family Series)
    This book collects chapters from several leading women writers and teachers to address a wide array of topics concerning biblical womanhood. I'm partial to Carolyn Mahaney's two chapters on femininity and beauty, but I also highly recommend Nancy Leigh DeMoss's two chapters on the portraits of a wise and foolish woman.

  • Tedd Tripp: Shepherding A Child's Heart

    Tedd Tripp: Shepherding A Child's Heart
    Every adult should read this book, but it's a Must for parents. As you'll soon read in this valuable book, parenting is not about behavior modification--it's about reaching the heart of children so they understand their motives, their sinfulness, and ultimately their need for a Savior.

  • Sinclair Ferguson: Discovering God's Will

    Sinclair Ferguson: Discovering God's Will
    The counsel contained in this slim volume is timeless. Nine chapters comprise the book: God's Ultimate Purpose, Guidelines for Guidance, Guarding the Heart, A Christian Lifestyle, Principles of Conduct, Consider Your Calling, Marriage?, Wait for the Lord, and He Leads Me. The last four chapters are priceless, but they need to be read on the foundation of the teaching in the earlier chapters.

  • C.J. Mahaney: Humility: True Greatness

    C.J. Mahaney: Humility: True Greatness
    This small book packs a wallop. C.J. starts by showing us why God opposes the proud and is drawn to the humble. Then he illustrates how to cultivate humility in many practical ways. From chapters on The Promise of Humility and The Perils of Pride, to Identifying Evidences of Grace and Responding Humbly to Trials, this is a book of seasoned wisdom.

  • Randy Newman: Questioning Evangelism

    Randy Newman: Questioning Evangelism
    This book helps us understand how to ask questions of unbelievers to expose their assumptions about God and get to the heart of their questions--rather than getting sidetracked in our conversations. I'm still reading this book, so I'll add more commentary when I'm finished. But the fact that my pastor recommended it was all I needed to buy it!

  • Randy Alcorn: Money, Possessions & Eternity

    Randy Alcorn: Money, Possessions & Eternity
    Here is a comprehensive study of what the Scriptures teach about earning, spending, saving, and investing money. Randy is a gracious writer with a personal testimony of living what he has written. It's a big book, but well worth the investment to purchase and read it.

  • Randy Alcorn: Safely Home

    Randy Alcorn: Safely Home
    This is a fictional account of a Christian persecuted for his faith in China, but Randy Alcorn has done his homework. You'll learn a lot about the reality of Christianity in China through reading Safely Home. But you won't be able to read it flippantly. Well-crafted, well-developed, and moving--I highly recommend it.

  • Wayne Grudem: Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth

    Wayne Grudem: Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth
    While Mary Kassian's book (below) is a great sociological examination of the impact of second-wave feminism on our culture, Wayne Grudem's book is a detailed look at the claims of evangelical feminists against the teaching of Scripture. An excellent theological resource, written in a thorough yet humble manner. This is a life's work from Dr. Grudem and well worth having in your own personal library.

  • Mary Kassian: The Feminist Mistake

    Mary Kassian: The Feminist Mistake
    This book is subtitled "The Radical Impact of Feminism on Church and Culture." It's an in-depth, academic overview of the impact of what's been called second-wave feminism, spanning 1960s to 1990 or so. As a former feminist, it was eye-opening to read an historical account about the era in which I grew up. Kassian is a thorough writer, and her writing and research underscores one essential point: When you start by disregarding one aspect of the Bible's teaching, it's a short ride down a slippery slope to discarding Christianity altogether. A sobering read.

  • Arthur Bennett, editor: The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

    Arthur Bennett, editor: The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions
    I once read that the public prayers of Christians today are anemic and repetitive. That charge may be true. If so, this book could be a remedy. It is a collection of Puritan prayers and devotions, organized by theme. This is one of my favorite tools in my personal devotions. I enjoy reading these prayers aloud, for their vocabulary and grammar force me to slowly savor their meaning. I am not praying aloud these days with the Puritan "thee" and "thou," but I do remember their concepts and try to incorporate their ideas into my prayers. As one writer here stated, "We ask great things of a great God." That's as true today as it was 400 years ago.

  • John Piper: When I Don’t Desire God: How To Fight For Joy

    John Piper: When I Don’t Desire God: How To Fight For Joy
    Joy doesn't just happen. It's a fight for most Christians. And this book is an excellent guide for both why and how. An excellent resource for Christians who have grown weary and/or rusty in their personal devotions.

  • R. C. Sproul, editor: The Reformation Study Bible

    R. C. Sproul, editor: The Reformation Study Bible
    This is the English Standard Version Bible with study notes from contributors such as Wayne Grudem, Sinclair Ferguson, Bruce Waltke, Graeme Goldsworthy, and James Boice. It's the version I currently use for personal study.

  • Jonathan Edwards: Charity and Its Fruits

    Jonathan Edwards: Charity and Its Fruits
    Charity is the old-fashioned word for love. This book is a collection of sermons from Jonathan Edwards from the mid-1700s. It's not a fast read, but it's worth the work to plumb the concept of Christian love as understood in another era by a formidable theologian.

  • Gary Thomas: Sacred Marriage

    Gary Thomas: Sacred Marriage
    Gary asks the book's central question in its subtitle: What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? In this book, Gary looks at marriage as a spiritual discipline, examining how marriage is one way God conforms us to the image of Christ. Many of my newly married friends have found this book to be quite helpful.

  • Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre: Girl Talk

    Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre: Girl Talk
    This book, written by a mother-daughter duo, is for both mothers and daughters to go through together. It's subtitled "Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood." I've given many copies away to mothers. But I've also heard of single fathers going through the book with their daughters. No matter how it's done, the point of the book is to disciple pre-teen and teen girls about biblical womanhood. It's an outstanding and winsomely-written book.

  • Lies Women Believe: Nancy Leigh DeMoss

    Lies Women Believe: Nancy Leigh DeMoss
    The subtitle is, "And the Truth that sets them free," which is really the focus of this succinct yet wide-ranging book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Tackling lies we can believe about God, ourselves, sin, priorities, marriage, children, emotions, and circumstances, there is plenty here to challenge our current thinking and replace it with truth from God's Word.

  • Noel Piper: Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God

    Noel Piper: Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God
    This book profiles five women who lived courageous, fruitful lives from the 1700s on. Four of the five were single women, a fact that was not lost on me. A book that will provoke you to examine your own life. Highly recommended!

  • Elizabeth George: Loving God with All Your Mind

    Elizabeth George: Loving God with All Your Mind
    By going through Philippians 4:8, Elizabeth George teaches us how to think thoughts about God and others that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and excellent. An excellent book for women who wrestle with sinful judgments of others (suspicion, insecurity, and critical attitudes).

  • Edward T. Welch: Depression: A Stubborn Darkness

    Edward T. Welch: Depression: A Stubborn Darkness
    Everyone wrestles with depression at various times and in varying degrees, and this book is an outstanding resource for defeating it. Ed Welch writes with such compassion and clarity, yet with firm conviction in the sufficiency of God's Word. Each chapter tackles different manifestations of depression and assigns helpful "homework" assignments for overcoming depression. The book closes with advice to friends and family members of those who suffer from more severe depression.

  • John Piper: Don't Waste Your Life

    John Piper: Don't Waste Your Life
    It seems that John Piper writes books faster than I can read them. This is one of his more accessible books and it makes a strong argument for living wisely in light of eternity.

  • Joni Eareckson Tada, Steven Estes: When God Weeps

    Joni Eareckson Tada, Steven Estes: When God Weeps
    This powerful book explores the issue of suffering. Joni writes elegantly of her personal trials as a quadriplegic, and Steve Estes adds a pastoral voice and perspective about God's character. Includes one of the most powerful chapters about the crucifixion that I've ever read. It will take your breath away--if you can still read it through your tears.

  • Jerry Bridges: Trusting God

    Jerry Bridges: Trusting God
    In the end, the Christian life boils down to one simple element: trusting God. In this classic book, Jerry Bridges writes clearly and pointedly about what we must do to grow in our relationship with God and to trust Him unreservedly.

  • Edward T. Welch: When People Are Big and God Is Small

    Edward T. Welch: When People Are Big and God Is Small
    There's a lot of talk these days about peer pressure and co-dependency. The Bible calls it "fear of man," which includes both being afraid of people and craving their approval. EVERYONE is affected by this sin tendency, and in this book Ed Welch wipes aside the murk and provides a shining view of God's grace. One of the most significant books in my life. A Must Read for singles!

  • Ken Sande: The Peacemaker

    Ken Sande: The Peacemaker
    When conflict arises in your life, do you ever see it as an opportunity to glorify God? You will after you read this book. Ken Sande provides clear, biblically-based thinking on conflict resolution.

  • Charles Spurgeon, Roy H. Clarke: Beside Still Waters

    Charles Spurgeon, Roy H. Clarke: Beside Still Waters
    This daily devotional features a collection of C.H. Spurgeon's writings on suffering, faith, and perseverance in trials. My copy is exceedingly highlighted. Recommended for every Christian, but especially for those whose faith is flagging due to trials or disappointments.

  • Joshua Harris: Boy Meets Girl

    Joshua Harris: Boy Meets Girl
    This is my favorite Josh Harris book. I highly recommend chapter ten, "When Your Past Comes Knocking," for those wrestling with past sexual sin. Josh candidly explores how to experience God's forgiveness, both to receive yourself and to extend to others.

  • Matthew Henry: The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit (Puritan Writings)

    Matthew Henry: The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit (Puritan Writings)
    It's good to read authors from different centuries, just to shake out the 21st-century ideas and tap into some timeless wisdom. Though this book requires some concentration to read, there is nothing else like it for learning to subdue your passions and cultivate contentment.

  • Paul Tripp: War of Words

    Paul Tripp: War of Words
    You know the old saying--women use WAY more words in any given day than men do. That's why this is a Must Read for every woman. The subtitle says it all: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles.

  • Paul Tripp: Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands

    Paul Tripp: Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands
    Have you ever found yourself at a loss to try to help or counsel someone else? Have you been too critical? Too impatient? Too disinterested? This book shows people in need of change how to help people who need change. It's a roadmap for grace when sinners counsel other sinners.

  • Paul Tripp: Lost in the Middle

    Paul Tripp: Lost in the Middle
    The subtitle is "Midlife and the Grace of God." An outstanding book! Don't let the "midlife" label turn you away. It will give you a Godward perspective whether you are tempted by a "quarter-life" crisis, "thirtysomething" crisis, or a full-blown "buy the Corvette and get a face lift" midlife crisis. A "crisis" is really just God showing us we've been putting our hopes into something other than Him. Paul Tripp challenges us to examine the harvest from our lives and not give up hope for planting a newer, more fruitful one in the future.

  • Joshua Harris: Stop Dating the Church

    Joshua Harris: Stop Dating the Church
    You may be experiencing a "lack of commitment" in many areas of your life, but there's one area for Christians that shouldn't be affected: commitment to the church. Not convinced? Read this book.

  • John Piper, Justin Taylor: Sex and the Supremacy of Christ

    John Piper, Justin Taylor: Sex and the Supremacy of Christ
    This book is a compilation of messages given at the 2005 Desiring God National Conference. In our sex-saturated society, this book is important for singles to read--not only because there are specific chapters included for single men and women--but because throughout the book God's glory is promoted and His original purpose for sex is celebrated without shame.

  • C.J. Mahaney: Sex, Romance and the Glory of God

    C.J. Mahaney: Sex, Romance and the Glory of God
    This is a Must Read for married men and those about to get married. I would even recommend it for single men who have converted as adults and who need to find a biblically-oriented guide to what God really intended in the gift of sex.

  • Carolyn Mahaney: Feminine Appeal

    Carolyn Mahaney: Feminine Appeal
    Many single women have asked me what books they should be reading in order to prepare for marriage--or even to better understand marriage in order to relate to their married friends. This is one of the Must Reads. Based on the principles found in Titus 2, Carolyn Mahaney addresses the virtues that all godly women (married and single) should emulate.

  • Carolyn McCulley: Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?

    Carolyn McCulley: Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?
    Of course I have to plug my own book. But remember, the title is a question, not a statement! The subtitle is the heart of the book: Trusting God with a Hope Deferred. A book for single women of all ages who want to understand what biblical femininity looks like for an umarried woman.