Radical Womanhood

Losses at Christmas

A few weeks ago, I stood before friends and family members and gave my mother's eulogy. She had succumbed to injuries sustained in a car accident over Thanksgiving weekend. Just days before her accident, the Lord had given me Hebrews 12:28 to meditate upon as I made a list of things for which I was thankful. At the top of that list was the fact my parents were still alive and in relatively good health. 

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe (Hebrews 12:28 ).

Throughout her time in the hospital and after her passing, I had many occasions to meditate upon the faithfulness of the Lord. My mother's death rocked my world, but God and His kingdom were unshakeable. Whenever someone would muse aloud about why God allowed this to happen, I would acknowledge our mutual grief, but then I would try to gently turn the topic to the greater hope we have in Jesus. Even though we daily receive new mercies from Him, Jesus is not going to patch up this broken world. He is going to give us something much better: a new heavens and a new earth where there are no more tears and no more death. Until then, grief and loss are part of the human experience. These thoughts were what shaped my closing remarks in her eulogy:

When Mom passed away, we knew she wanted to have a funeral shortly thereafter. At first it seemed sad to interrupt the holiday season of feasting and celebrating with a funeral. But during her last days, I realized that a funeral during Advent is actually entirely appropriate. For without the wonderful truth that the Word became flesh and lived among us in the midst of our fallen world with all of its decay, destruction and death—we truly would grieve without hope. Instead, we could commend Mom in her final moments to the loving hands of Her Savior, for He surely knew what it meant to live and suffer in this body of frail flesh.

As the angel said in the gospel of Luke, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” Those words proclaimed the good news of God’s divine rescue—a mission to send His only begotten Son into the world to live the perfect life we cannot, to pay the just penalty for our sins, and in turn give us His perfect righteousness. In this incredible exchange of grace, Jesus overcame the curse of sin and its penalty of death.

This is our true reason for celebrating Christmas. And this the true reason all those who put their hope in Jesus have for worshiping Him … even when we must say goodbye in this life to someone we love.  Our hope is not that God will spare us hardship in this fallen world, but that in His overflowing mercy we will one day receive a new heavens and a new earth – free from sin, free from death, free from tears – and be reunited with our all those we have loved once before.

And then we will fall on our faces to worship Him who made it all possible.

Last year, I wrote about my memories of my Aunt Kathleen and Uncle Kevin, and how they taught me to be more sensitive about grief during the holidays. My mother was so proud of this blog post that she requested I print it out and send it to various family members who aren't online. Little did I know then that I would write a similar tribute to her this year. 

I am not the only one grieving this year. My cousins are also grieving the loss of their father, my mother's brother. Numerous friends are also grieving their family members. And our nation is collectively mourning with the families of Newtown, CT. In fact, grief and loss are entwined in the story of our Savior's birth (Matthew 2:16). 

So for all of us who are mourning this holiday, here is a short film my company produced for John Piper only weeks before my mother's passing. I had no idea then that I, too, would need a film titled "Hope for the Hurting This Christmas." But now that I look back over the last two months, I see the kindness of God in preparing my heart in many ways.

Tomorrow I will gather with my family and we will grieve Mom's absence in many ways. But in our mourning, we will be able to cling to the hope that the pierces the darkness of loss: For unto us, a Child is born. And for that reason, I can confidently wish us all a merry Christmas.

 

(Photo: Beth Altrogge Murphy took this portrait of my mother, Rosalind, during her 80th birthday party two years ago.)

Leap Year and the Gift of Time

Whenever leap year pops up, I feel like I'm cheating, like I've gotten an extra day to tackle all those undone things. But it's just an illusion. Today is a day like any other--a gift from God for which I will have to give an account.

I've been thinking a lot about time lately. Days seem to fly by faster than when I was a child. I once read that if your day flies by, that means you are absorbed in what you are doing and you are happy. So I guess that's a good thing. But as I've studied this topic from an eternal perspective, here's a short list of some of the things I've been mulling over as I ponder "time management" as a Christian:

• There's only one person who will ever complete His "To Do" list and He already did it: "When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, 'It is finished,' and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." (John 19:30).
• Therefore, my ambitions about productivity have to be reshaped by the idea that I'm simply a steward. I am responsible for investing and multiplying what I receive from the Lord because I will give an account to Him one day for my activities. What isn't from Him is a waste of time. 
• Discerning the difference betweening stewarding what God has put on my To Do list and what I put on there for other reasons is very hard. I have to recalibrate on a regular basis by praying over my priorities and activities. 
• As someone who is chronically on deadline, I still must find a way to live with margin in my life. By this, I mean the flexibility in my schedule for God to interrupt me with His ministry needs. Those things usually arrive in the form of someone needing my help or attention. If close friends and family don't think they have access to me or can interrupt me, then I know I have things on my To Do list that shouldn't be there. Jesus had a very important schedule, but He was available to minister others as He saw His Father at work.
• Productivity is not the same as fruitfulness. Fruitfulness is the eternal measurement--the multiplication of the work the Holy Spirit is doing in and through us. Productivity is task-oriented but those tasks aren't necessarily fruitful when measured through eternal impact. I find I can get a lot done, but nothing that will be meaningful even next year much less in light of eternity. We will always have tasks like these to do, but are they crowding out what's important?
• The tyranny of the urgent is even more of a harsh taskmaster in a constantly wired world. I first read Charles Hummel's booklet called The Tyranny of the Urgent as the Internet was poised to take off. Now I can appreciate even more why it is critical to schedule the important priorities before responding to the crush of urgencies and social media connections.

I hope these brief thoughts serve you today, as well. Happy February 29th!

 

An Imperishable Inheritance

Happy new year!

This is the time of year when I take a day to reflect on the preceding year, reviewing my prayer requests and giving thanks to God for how He answered and provided for myself, family and friends. But before 2012 rolled in, I already knew what my new year's study theme would be. It came a few weeks earlier, when I found myself thinking that certain blessings had passed me by and I was wondering how that came to be. I truly don't lack much of anything, but it's tempting at times to consider the bigger, better, shinier objects that other people have and wonder if that will ever come my way. As such a fleeting thought crossed my mind, I immediately felt the loving correction of the Holy Spirit: "Your inheritance is not here. It is in Christ." Thus I knew that the theme of inheritance would be my study topic over my new year's retreat.

Today, as I reviewed the Bible for this theme, I was especially encouraged by the ideas found in Ephesians 1, the listing of the spiritual blessings we have in Christ:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight, making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory. (Ephesians 1:3-14, emphasis mine)

Adoption, redemption, forgiveness, inheritance ... these are rich promises. 1 Peter 1:4 elaborates further, calling this inheritance "imperishable, undefiled, and unfading." And Colossians 1:12-13 says the Father has qualified us "to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son."

That phrase, the "inheritance of the saints in light," reminded me of a testimony I'd heard many years ago when I was a new believer. It was given by an Australian man who had a near-death conversion experience after being stung by the venomous box jellyfish. Ian McCormack's testimony was incredibly vivid (I still recall all the details more than a decade later), but it was his description of encountering the love of the Lord as a wave of light that was most compelling to me. After he gave this testimony, someone asked him how he was changed by this experience (apart from his death-bed conversion). He said that since he now knows whose he is and where he is going, he is able to live this life free from concern. I recall hearing that and wanting to have that same assurance ... but I do have it. It is all in the Scriptures. 

That said, sometimes it is helpful to consider the same concept from a different perspective. So for that reason, I am sharing Ian's dramatized testimony. It is a 45-minute film. At about 21 minutes, you'll find the scene I was describing above. At the close, Ian comes on screen to share the biblical references for his experience. I know little else of Ian's life except that he's now a pastor and church-planter, but his testimony and evangelistic message has been consistent for nearly 30 years. So I trust it will also encourage you for your own life, as well as strengthen you as you intercede for others who seem resistant to the gospel.