Radical Womanhood

Hidden In My Heart

I will confess: my favorite meditative music is marketed as lullabies. I probably wouldn't have selected them for myself, as I don't have any children to soothe to sleep. But as I received both volumes one and two of Hidden In My Heart: A Lullaby Journey Through Scripture as gifts from an enthusiastic giver, I checked them out. Soon I was a fan, too.

Maybe contexts help. The last time I listened to volume one, I was sitting in the warm sun on a boat, contentedly watching the waves in our wake. The ambient melody of "The Lord is My Shepherd" was the perfect soundtrack for the blissed out view before me, underscoring my gratitude for the gift of that vacation.

The Lord is my shepherd
I shall not be in want
He makes me lie down in green pastures
He leads me beside quiet waters
He restores my soul

The producer of this series, Jay Stocker, says that he wanted to create a cinematic score for these Bible passages, and I think he successfully accomplished this goal. The product tag is "powerfully peaceful music for every age." Not only are you soothed when you listen, you have truth poured into your heart and mind. But what deeply touched me was when Jay said in the video below that he's received letters from parents who said that their children were relieved of their night terrors and nightmares when they listened to these songs.

Check out these videos below to learn more. More importantly, take a few minutes to be encouraged and soothed in your own busy day. I'm sure you'll end up a fan, as well.

By the way, Scripture Lullabies has a great gift-giving idea: scheduled deliveries of downloadable music gifts. What a great idea for baby showers or even labor-and-delivery gifts! And if you go to the Facebook page, you'll get a coupon for the first volume.

A Faithful God to the End

I've decided that one of the most tempting aspects of being the creature and not the Creator is that the fact that we are not omniscient. As in, we don't know what is in the hearts and thoughts of others. We don't know the end from the beginning. We don't know how the present trial will work together for the good of those who love God. We just ... don't know. All we can do is look back and, to paraphrase John Piper, contemplate the growing reservoir of past grace that has flowed through our lives, something we can clearly contemplate as we struggle with believing more grace will come in the future. 

For those who are in that struggle with the unknown, here's an encouraging word from Charles Spurgeon's devotional, Morning and Evening:

"And David said in his heart, I shall now perish one day by the hand of Saul."—1 Samuel 27:1.

The thought of David's heart at this time was a false thought, because he certainly had no ground for thinking that God's anointing him by Samuel was intended to be left as an empty unmeaning act. On no one occasion had the Lord deserted His servant; he had been placed in perilous positions very often, but not one instance had occurred in which divine interposition had not delivered him. The trials to which he had been exposed had been varied; they had not assumed one form only, but many—yet in every case He who sent the trial had also graciously ordained a way of escape. David could not put his finger upon any entry in his diary, and say of it, "Here is evidence that the Lord will forsake me," for the entire tenor of his past life proved the very reverse. He should have argued from what God had done for him, that God would be his defender still. But is it not just in the same way that we doubt God's help? Is it not mistrust without a cause? Have we ever had the shadow of a reason to doubt our Father's goodness? Have not His lovingkindnesses been marvelous? Has He once failed to justify our trust? Ah, no! our God has not left us at any time. We have had dark nights, but the star of love has shone forth amid the blackness; we have been in stern conflicts, but over our head He has held aloft the shield of our defense. We have gone through many trials, but never to our detriment, always to our advantage; and the conclusion from our past experience is, that He who has been with us in six troubles, will not forsake us in the seventh. What we have known of our faithful God, proves that He will keep us to the end. Let us not, then, reason contrary to evidence.

God's faithfulness is something singer/songwriter Heather Williams commented on regarding her song, "Hallelujah." I've been listening to this song a lot in recent days. The open dialogue that David kept with the Lord is what Heather wanted to emulate in her life, especially after the loss of her son. This is a song for those who want to praise God even as they stumble through life. Which is to say, a song for all of us. Because of the Cross, we do know one thing: we are not forsaken.

 

The Water and the Blood

I'm very backlogged in the reviews and recommendations aspect of this blog, so I'm taking the next week or so to catch up on books, CDs, and movies that I think are worth checking out.

First up is the roots rock-influenced worship album, The Water and the Blood, from Sojourn Music. I've used that genre description loosely, because the variety of styles on this recording could include Americana, Appalachian, blues, indie, and country--but the focus of the lyrics is timeless. The entire album is based on the hymns of Isaac Watts, an 18th-century theologian and pastor who penned the bulk of his hymns in his early 20s. Therefore, I'm not surprised Watts continues to inspire young adults even today.

One of my early favorites is an adaptation of "Early My God." The simple piano melody and plaintive vocals create a personal psalm of worship in a world of trials and afflictions. The last two lines have been ringing in my head since I first heard them:

Early my God without delay
I haste to seek your face
My thirsty spirit faints away
Without your cheering grace

Not all the blessings of a feast
Could fill my soul so well.
As when your richest grace I taste,
and in your presence dwell.

My spirit toils with this lifeʼs gloom
And fights to stay the course
Remind me of that heavenly hour
When you called me yours.

Another early favorite is the bluesy "Death Has Lost Its Sting," a ringing guitar elegy. Overall, I enjoy the musical creativity of this album. It's full of surprises, challenging the expected sound of Christian music. If you like The Civil Wars (another personal favorite!), you are likely to also appreciate Sojourn Music. Check it out in the links below.

 

The Glory of the Son

The first time I heard Starfield's worship song, "The Saving One," I was receiving communion. As my church family went forward to receive the bread and wine, we were all singing these lyrics in joyful procession: "And Heaven can't contain the glory of the Son, Jesus is the Christ, the saving One. His love has made a way, the grave is overcome. Jesus is the Christ, the saving One." Walking back to my seat, holding the communion elements in my hand, and looking at the joyful faces around me, I was profoundly impressed by the image of Christ's glory bursting out of heaven in triumph over sin and death.

That song has been stuck in my head for months, but it keeps coming back as I read my friend, Elyse Fitzpatrick's book, Comforts from the Cross. The women of my community group are studying this book together and it keeps pointing me back to the majesty of the Son and why it is our love for Jesus that propels us into gospel obedience and, consequently, fruitful lives. The book is shaped as a month-long daily devotional that focuses us on different verses that provide comforting truths. On day 11, Elyse focused on Hebrews 10:14: "For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." Unpacking that verse, Elyse wrote this meditation, which I've excerpted:

The book of Hebrews was written primarily to, well, the Hebrews, people who were familiar with the demands, ceremonies, and sacrifices of the Jewish temple system. In that system offerings and sacrifices had to be made over and over again, since the blood of mere animals, though commanded by the Lord, could only cover sin, never remove it. The blood of bulls and goats could not atone for the sin that permeated the heart of the human lawbreaker. ...

You have got to get an idea of the shock the early believers would have felt upon reading those words. Perfected for all time? How could those words be uttered about anyone? They knew full well the sacrifices required to atone for sin: a young bird, a goat, a bull, a spotless lamb. They were well aware that their sins weren't some minor blemish but were serious enough that a living creature had to suffer and die. This wasn't merely a philosophical or theological persuasion. For their unbelief, warm blood streamed onto sticky stone; because of their covetousness, animals cried out in terror. And for those who lived in Jerusalem, there was the smoke that hung continually over the temple mount. Listen to hear the bleating of the soon-silenced lamb; smell the acrid stench of burning hair and flesh; see the white robes of the high priest darkly stained. They knew their imperfections--they were lawbreakers. 

In the the midst of all this, all they could do was hope their efforts were enough to atone for what they'd done, even though they knew it really wasn't enough; the deathly sacrifice would just have to be repeated again and again. Into that bloody, earthy, repetitive system of religion and death came these words: "And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. . . . For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." (Heb. 10:11-12,14)

The early Jewish Christians experienced something that their predecessors had never known: complete freedom from guilt, rest from the law's cruel lash, infinite acceptance before a holy God. Think of their joy and relief. No wonder they turned the world upside down.

Jesus Christ, the ultimate high priest, had accomplished what no other high priest had ever even dared to attempt. On the cross he spilled the blood of God to appease the wrath of God. This blood was so precious, being the very blood of the infinite, incarnate God, that just this one sacrifice was completely sufficient to atone for and bring to perfection all who would believe in it. Just one sacrifice was necessary to perfect them, to perfect you.

In the next daily devotion, Elyse focused on the verse from John 14:15: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." This is an excerpt from her commentary on it:

Jesus is lovingly stating a fact, but he's also making a precious promise: love will motivate behavior. He completely knows us, even the inmost thoughts of our hearts. He knows of our desire to obey and our shame and sadness because of our failures. But he also knows this: as our love for him grows, our obedience will grow, too. 

The key to a godly life is not more and more self-generated effort. Instead, Jesus is saying, "Love me and your obedience will flow naturally from that love." The secret to obedience isn't formulaic steps found in a self-help book. It is a relentless pursuit of love for him. How then do I cultivate the sincerity of love that motivates obedience? By focusing more intently on his love for me than on my love for him, more on his obedience than mine, more on his faithfulness than mine, more on his strengths than mine.

As I read these words, I found myself humming "The Saving One." The joy and awe found in our Savior, whose glory cannot be contained by heaven, but bursts forth into our fallen mess of sin and hopelessness -- this is the Saving One. Amen and amen!

Shannon Wexelberg: Change Me

They say attention is the new currency. And I believe it. It's quite possible to hear someone's name for years and still not make the connection to check them out. In this case, I've heard Shannon Wexelberg's name for some time, but had never checked her out until I heard her gorgeous song, "Change Me," at the True Woman conference a few weeks ago. Since then, I've been busy downloading her worship music and enjoying singing along with her as she praises God.

So far, my favorite album of hers is the 2007 album, "Faithful God," from which "Change Me," comes. 

Come and change me, Lord
In the light of the Your glory
Let my heart be known
Father, search me and know me
Come make me Your own
Change me, Lord

It is even more meaningful to me after having read the story of her infertility on her website, which I've excerpted below.

About five years into "trying," I got pregnant. We were elated and in awe! It was an amazing miracle of God and we were astounded! About 10 weeks into my pregnancy my Dr. cleared me to take a ministry trip to Arkansas that had been previously scheduled. Thankfully, Mark was scheduled to go with me, which he often isn't. I ministered at a Women's Conference that morning and did a worship concert the next evening at the church. That evening, after worship, I began to miscarry. I won't go into the details, but I remember where I was and how I felt even as I sit here this moment. We immediately called the Dr. upon arriving at our hotel after service. He said to "lay down and wait it out til morning" that sometimes this is normal and it may not be a miscarriage. So...of course, I did not sleep the entire night, the sobbing and praying got the better of me. In the morning, one of the gals from the church recommended a Dr. in the area and so the dear worship pastor of the church escorted Mark and me to the hospital nearby. After a serious of tests and ultrasounds, they confirmed I had lost the baby. I was a wreck.

For the first time in this five-year journey of infertility, I asked God "why is this happening to me?" And I didn't ask it in a submissive, sweet way. I was angry, confused and heartsick. Because of some complications, I had to stay in Arkansas for a week following the miscarriage. During that week, I don't remember much else except for crying, reading, sitting outside in the sun, and crying some more. Oh, and there was one trip to Wal-Mart in there. Honestly, I could not stop the tears. I loved Him so, but why was this happening? How could He withhold this one thing I desired so much? I was honest, broken and in pain. And what was the point of this whole miscarriage thing? I would've been happier never having gotten pregnant.

A couple weeks passed and I was home. I remember it vividly. I was standing in my kitchen, still able to cry at a moment's notice. And I was still feeling somewhat abandoned by the Lord. Now, my head knew this was not so. My faith was strong. I knew the Word of God. But all my emotions said..."You are being disregarded by Him." David felt that was so often in the Psalms...I was not alone. But in that moment, the Holy Spirit awakened my heart to the garbage I was letting stink up my spirit - the anger, the bitterness, the spoiled-brat attitude. In that moment, I got a picture of the cross in my mind's eye and I sensed the words, "If the cross was all I ever did for you, isn't that enough?" Immediately, without a second thought, I bowed my knees to the Lord in that kitchen and asked His forgiveness for all the pride and self-entitlement I had been carrying. I was a wreck again, but for all the right reasons. I was undone.

But that's not the end of the story. This article is titled "A Journey to Parenthood," so I encourage you to read it all. Even as a childless woman myself, I rejoiced to read this story of God's provision and timing -- and His tender work in Shannon's life.

NEXT and a Free Song

What are you doing Memorial Day? If you are a young adult (married or single), you may want to consider attending the NEXT Conference in Baltimore, MD. It's a weekend soaked in the glory of God. The theme of the event is the knowledge of God:

We all base our lives on what we think God is like. We act on what we know—or believe we know—about God. The question is whether what we believe about God is true.

Here's a promo video for NEXT, produced by my friends at Vinegar Hill Picture Works. It features a new song called "Oil Lamp Life," by Caleb Murphy. For long-time readers of this blog, Caleb is Ian Murphy's brother. I had the chance to meet him while he was recording this song. In the past three years, he's lived through his brother's near fatal accident and the loss of his father to brain cancer. Yet out of those experiences, he was able to write this song. As he explains:

It’s really about how life is hard but that we should have faith in God for the future. It’s about how we have no idea what is going to happen at any point in time, we just see what’s in front of us. I remember my dad explaining to me what the phrase “You are a lamp unto my feet” meant. He said that the oil lamps that they had back in the day only showed them their feet and a few feet in front of them. This is walking in faith, trusting that God will lead us and not worrying even though we can’t see far ahead.

And now I have the pleasure of letting you know that you can download the entire song for free. To learn more about the music behind the video, visit the NEXT blog and follow the link there to get the song.

Blessed Is the One

On Saturday, I spoke to the women of Grace Community Church of Ashburn, Virginia, on the topic of being contented or contentious. We began worshiping the Lord in song with one of my favorite worship songs, "Blessed Is the One." I can never get that song out of my head whenever I hear it, so it's been two days now of pondering these wonderful truths:

Blessed is the one whose sins are overcome
Whom God has sheltered deep within His grace
Blessed is the one who trusts in God the Son
His steadfast love the sinner’s hiding place

Jesus, Your blood covers all my sin
Jesus, Your love draws my heart to sing
What a Savior, Jesus

I will always hide at my Savior’s side
I find my refuge in His sovereign care
When the waters rise, God will hear my cries
His steadfast love will hold me safely there

What I love is the poetic emphasis on the steadfast love of Jesus. Without that as our heart's focus, it is nearly impossible to be contented. May that be your focus today, too.

("Blessed is the One" is from the Psalms CD by Sovereign Grace Music. You can listen to the song, download the sheet music, or purchase a CD or MP3 from the Sovereign Grace store.)

In the House of God, Forever

As I leaf through newspapers, absorbing the fear contained therein--faltering economies, wars preying upon civilians, the latest food contaminant--I hear a song bubble up in my heart.

When the world has fallen out from under me
I’ll be found in You, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I’ll be found in You
(Brooke Fraser: "Shadowfeet" from Albertine)

When pride seeps out of my heart, manifesting in my words and deeds; when my anger betrays my secret belief that I should be the one running the world; when worldliness draws me away from worship, I am grateful for the truthful rebuke of another song:

I'm a saint and a sinner
I'm a lover and a fighter
I'm a true believer
With great desire
I'm a preacher of grace,
Prophet of a love, teacher of truth
I've fallen down so many times
And here I stand in front of you
This is who I am
This is who I am
So take me and make me something so much more
This is who I am, this is who I am
So change me and make me someone
Better than before
(Third Day: "This Is Who I Am" from Revelations)

And when I ponder the winter of life and how all creaturely life must disintegrate, another song celebrates a beautiful truth:

And out of the darkness, You pulled me into Your glorious light
Saved from the death I was facing, rejoicing in the future hope that is mine
(Tim Hughes: "Out of the Darkness" from Holding Nothing Back)

Finally, the simple melody of this Psalm 23-infused song is an evening lullaby:

God is my shepherd,
I won't be wanting, I won't be wanting.
He makes me rest in fields of green, with quiet streams.
Even though I walk through the valley of death and dying
I will not fear because You are with me, You are with me
Your shepherd's staff comforts me
You are my feast in the presence of enemies
Surely goodness will follow me, follow me
In the house of God, forever
(Jon Foreman: "House of God, Forever" from Summer)

These are just a few of the songs in heavy rotation on my iPod, both for their lyrics and their memorable melodies. You can preview them in the new music widget in the right sidebar of this blog, too.

Sing Truth to Your Soul

It was almost two years ago that I wrote about creating a playlist of "Trusting God" songs. These are songs that reinforce to me the truth of God's character and the beauty of the gospel, to be sung in moments of doubt or discouragement. (But I can't believe this was almost two years ago. Pardon me while I have a geezer moment here, but really, two years?! Insert cliche comment here: "Where has the time gone?" Good thing these are timeless truths in these songs!)

Now I have a few more songs to recommend for your iPod.

- "All I Really Need" reminds me that trials do have their sanctifying purpose. Here are a few of the lyrics:

In the darkest hour I must face
I’m counting on Your grace to give me all I need
Sunless days and cheerless nights will pass
And work their work at last to form Your joy in me
For when I am weak
I find that You are strong, and
All I really need is Your grace

This song is by Mark Altrogge and was recorded on the father-son project, In A Little While (Sovereign Grace Music). Right now, you can download it for free from the Sovereign Grace Store.

- "O God of Love" from Lou Fellingham is an older song, but her solo album with this recording, Treasure, was just released last year. I downloaded it from iTunes. My church has been singing this pretty song for at least four years, maybe longer, but it is always a refreshing reminder of God's love in any situation or season of life.

I can't explain all the things I see
But I'll trust in You
In every moment, You are there
Watching over, You hear my prayer
You go before me, You're behind me
Nothing's hidden from You
How good it is to be loved by You

- Finally, "In Whatever (Glorify)" I find lyrics that remind me of the importance of glorifying God in daily life.

In whatever I do
Let it be done with Christ in view
To glorify You, glorify You, Lord
In whatever I say,
Let it be filled with truth and grace
To glorify You, glorify You, Lord

This song was written by Steve & Vikki Cook and is on the Glorify CD, a live recording from Metro Life Church in Orlando, Florida, on Ugg Records.

Three solid songs drenched in truth. Good stuff for the weary soul.

Celebrating the Incarnation

I'm totally caught up in the Christmas whirlwind right now, so I'm sorry this blog has been a bit quiet of late. It's the time of year when I become a domestic machine, cranking out dinner parties, open houses, teas, and various hospitalities. The time I normally would have for blogging is now devoted to hand-washing china that can't be put in the dishwasher. But I'm betting the time you'd normally have for reading blogs is taken up with similar activities, too!

As I've been out and about shopping for groceries or for gifts, I've been marveling at the Christmas music. The carols and hymns I grew up with are still being played on the radio and various retail systems--songs with profound lyrics about the truth of Christmas. In our increasingly anti-Christian culture, Christmas carols in the public square are a bracing shock. But I rejoice every time I hear a radio station play a song like "Joy to the World," because the Gospel is being proclaimed!

In light of that, I'd like to recommend a new Christmas CD. It is the first Christmas project produced by Sovereign Grace Ministries-- Savior: Celebrating the Mystery of God Become Man. These worship songs are centered on the Incarnation, which makes them perfect to sing this time of year. But because those truths are timeless, they are also perfect for the rest of the year. Even better, Savior makes a good outreach gift because the liner notes include a full Gospel presentation.

My favorite songs are the Caedmon's Call-infused "Christ the Lord is Born Today" and the sweet ballad, "Sleep, Jesus, Sleep." You can check out the lyrics, download sheet music, watch some videos about the project, or listen to samples at the Sovereign Grace website. Bonus: You can download a free song on the Sovereign Grace Store--"Hope Has Come."

Other Christmas songs I've recently added to my iPod include:

- "O Come, O Come Emmanuel," "Holy, Holy, Holy," and "Joy to the World" by Sufjan Stevens, who brings his indie folk flavor to these arrangements
- "What Child Is This?" and "Merry Christmas" from Third Day's Christmas Offerings project
- "Magnificat" and "Sleep Well" from the Todd Agnew + Friends Do You See What I See project
- "Who Comes This Night" from James Taylor At Christmas

In the midst of a busy season, I pray the songs you listen to will remind you of the incarnation of the Prince of Peace!