Radical Womanhood

An Anticipated Marriage

If you have been reading this blog for the last several years, you have read about the amazing relationship of Ian and Larissa. And after four years of uncertainty and prayer, they are now married! Whay a joyful occasion!

Given their relationship and testimony, it is fitting they had Mark Altrogge read this John Piper quote during his sermon at the wedding. Whether you are married or not, this perspective is one to take to heart:

Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically; it is mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. Knowing Christ is more important than making a living. Treasuring Christ is more important than bearing children. Being united to Christ by faith is a greater source of material success than perfect sex and double-income prosperity.

So it is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, or it may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short. It may have many bright days, or it may be covered with clouds. If we make secondary things primary, we will be embittered at the sorrows we must face. But if we set our face to make of marriage mainly what God designed it to be, no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way. Every one of them will be, not an obstacle to success, but a way to succeed. The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it.

A Shout-Out to the Single Men

This spring, I spoke at a women's conference at Cornerstone Church of Knoxville. At the conclusion, I was invited to attend a special luncheon for the single women that was hosted by the single men of Cornerstone. Not only was I impressed with the food and hospitality, I was exceedingly impressed with the heart behind it. So I asked Casey Holbrook, one of the single men involved, if he would contribute a guest post about how this event was developed. I want it to inspire similar acts of service and appreciation in other churches--and not just for single women!

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This spring our church hosted a ladies’ retreat with Carolyn McCulley as the key speaker. The retreat was open to ladies age 18 and up, so the men in our singles ministry knew that a large number of our sisters would be present at the retreat and that this afforded a unique opportunity to bless them. The goal was simple: we wanted our sisters to have a chance to visit with Carolyn in a smaller setting where they could encourage one another and talk about issues that were specific to their season of life. We also wanted to do this in a way that communicated our respect and love for them. So we commenced with the following plan:

• We arranged for a special luncheon immediately following the retreat and limited the invitees to the ladies in our singles ministry only. 
• Each of the ladies received a hand-written invitation with their name on the front.  
• We decorated the room with fresh-cut flowers and had nice background music playing. 
• We had a tasty selection of finger foods including chicken salad croissants, banana bread, fresh fruit, sweet tea, and an assortment of loose leaf teas for making hot tea. 
• The luncheon started out with a time of visiting and ended with an informal Q&A with Carolyn.

From talking to the ladies, my understanding is that their time with Carolyn was a success! They really enjoyed their visit with Carolyn and were inspired in their faith. They were also blessed by the guys' efforts and enjoyed this simple gesture of our admiration.

As guys, we were very eager to do this as we cherish our sisters and greatly value them and the role they play in our lives. Our society is one in which guys typically only treat girls with appreciation as a means to a selfish end, and one in which even in church settings, the unattached girl often receives little thoughtful praise from guys. We felt that our girls were worthy of the highest praise and were thankful to have the opportunity to express it in a unique and fun way. It was a fun expression of the body of Christ where everyone involved was built up and edified.

Photos: At the luncheon with the Knoxville women; Casey Holbrook.

Ian Says Hi

Literally. Ian Murphy said hi to me today. I called my friend, David Altrogge, who was with Ian at the time and he said, "Do you want to say hi to Ian?" And I heard Ian say hi back to me! 

For those of you who have followed Ian's story over the past few years, you'll realize what a miracle that is, for Ian was once supposed to either die or be in a coma for the rest of his life. But our faithful God has worked so many unexplained healings on Ian's behalf. You can read the full story of Ian's accident under the "What Happened' link on Ian's blog. I also recommend reading his girlfriend's Valentine's Day testimony from two years ago, if you are not already familiar with the incredible Larissa Whiteley. Finally, I want to give praise to our ever-faithful Lord who answered the prayers of many people who asked that Ian be able to speak by this past Christmas. 

I recognize countless numbers of people are suffering and that these are widespread tough times. But I hope you will read these accounts to remind yourself that we serve the God of the Impossible. May He multiply grace, mercy, and peace to you.

Ian says hi.

The Grace to Help Others

A few weeks ago, I met a remarkable young woman who lives with multiple health challenges, and yet with a glowing smile told me all about how God had used her to encourage two other ill girls her age. I loved her passion for helping others and how she feels God may be giving her direction for her future and how to channel her gifts and energies to help similarly ill young people. So I asked her to write up her testimony for the encouragement of my blog readers.

It is with great pleasure that I introduce you today to Elaini Garfield (on the left in the picture). I hope you will find the time to read her whole story because I think it will encourage you not only in how God works through our own limitations and frailties, but also how He can use us to inspire others to support any "God-sized" ventures He puts on our hearts. Here's how her story begins:

This is an example of how faithful and loving our God is.  Our lives truly are like a dance and Christ has predetermined how each individual’s life will weave into the others throughout the steps.  Before I can really share the beauty of what He has done in my life in the last month I must first share briefly how I have come to this place.  My name is Elaini and God has, in His grace, saved me and called me His own.  All my life I have had different health struggles, but in the last four years my life has been drastically different from what I could have ever planned.  My health was so poor that for these four years I have been extremely limited in what I could do and accomplish.  Thankfully I serve a God who is not limited by physical strength.  Instead in His mercy He uses the weak and helpless, and has put in me a love for those that are hurting, especially those with health difficulties.

In February my dad heard about a young lady who had just been diagnosed with leukemia.  Marissa is just seventeen and she is a Christian who loves God with all her heart.  Her family had set up a caringbridge site (similar to a blog) to update their friends and family about the different stages of the sickness that they were experiencing.  I was able to get on and read about her, as well as post a note of encouragement on her guestbook.  The Lord had heavily laid her on my heart and I was sure He had a good reason.  Two days before she went into the hospital to start the intensive part of her treatment, God prompted me to purchase stylish hospital gowns for her.  Yes, hospital gowns.  While browsing the Internet I had come across some very fashionable gowns, and I knew that if I were Marissa I would not want to be wearing an ugly, drab sack of material.  (If you already feel bad it doesn’t help if you look bad as well!) When I discovered the B.Y.O.G. company--bring your own gown--I knew this was going to be good.

 

One idea led to another and very quickly I decided to ask friends to join me in purchasing these “dresses,” as well as writing notes of encouragement to Marissa.  I was blessed and overwhelmed by the response of generosity that started pouring out around me.

Ethiopia: Portraits of Hope

Next week, Lord willing, I take off for an extended trip that includes a visit to Ethiopia. While I'm there, I'll be interviewing Doug Hayes of Covenant Mercies about a new AIDS orphans program that Covenant Mercies has established in conjunction with our church, Covenant Life Church of Addis Ababa. I'm excited to make my first visit to Ethiopia!

Until then, I'm also eager to promote what Covenant Mercies is doing through its Portraits of Hope evening. In celebration of this new Ethiopian program, Covenant Mercies is offering a collection of forty-five limited edition prints featuring the beautiful people of Ethiopia as captured through the lens of award-winning photographer David Sacks. All proceeds from the auction will go directly to support the ministry of Covenant Mercies to needy people around the world. 

Those who live near Philadelphia can enjoy an elegant evening this Friday, April 25th--and the rest of us can participate online.

First, whether or not you are interested in what Covenant Mercies is doing, you can watch an inspiring video of images from Ethiopia set to native music. Sescond, if you'd like to own a print and support the ministry, you can also preview a limited number of the prints and place pre-auction bids.

Finally, I know that Doug would appreciate your prayers for the orphaned children in Addis, as well as the outreach of the church there.

Ian's Benefit

More blogging friends to connect with while I'm away from the blog this week: Long-time readers of this blog may be familiar with the story of Ian Murphy, his traumatic brain injury, and the faithful ministry of his girlfriend, Larissa Whiteley. If you are a new visitor, I would highly recommend you check out this touching Valentine Day's tribute from Larissa that I posted last year. Here's an excerpt:

Around August of this past year when we returned from our summer internships, Ian began having serious conversations with his dad about the logistics of pursuing marriage. He had known for awhile that I was “the one,” and now it was down to the timing. We both were working two jobs to save money, and Ian was working especially hard, as I found out later, so that he could buy me a ring. Our biggest struggle in thinking about marriage was trying to figure out the when it could all happen. In my mind, the first of the year made the most sense since we would both graduate college in December.

September 30 changed all of our plans.

That morning while Ian was on his way to work, he collided head-on with an SUV. He was life-flighted to a Pittsburgh hospital where he immediately went into surgery. For several hours, we didn’t know how severe the accident was or why he was in surgery. But we soon received what seemed to be the worst possible news. Ian had suffered severe head injury. The following 48 hours would determine whether he would live or not.

My life as I knew it was gone.

Since that blog post, I've heard from many of you that you are praying for Ian and following the updates on his blog. If you haven't been to Ian's blog recently, you might be astounded at the progress the Lord is giving a young man who was once on death's door. At left is a current picture of Ian and Larissa. And, praise the Lord, he's been walking a little bit in physical therapy!

Ian has not yet recovered sufficiently to speak, but I am in faith for the healing work of the Holy Spirit. Last week I was being silly about Leap Year, but on that same day, Ian's friends held a benefit concert for him. Their goal was to raise funds for a portable ramp for Ian's wheelchair so that he can access more places, as well as other physical therapy equipment. (If you are interested in donating, details are here.) That support is commendable! But please also pray for Ian so that he can fully recover from his coma and voice the proposal he was preparing to say to Larissa.

Net Benefits

As many problems as there can be with the Internet, one aspect I truly appreciate is how the web has opened the door to no-cost learning. Lectures from MIT, Reformed Theological Seminary (RTS) and other renowned institutions are available for free on iTunes U. Sermons from large and small churches alike can be downloaded at no cost from their websites. And even some books are available for free download.

What I'm gleaning from right now is a lecture titled "Introduction to Islam" from the World Religions course by Dr. Timothy Tennent on Biblicaltraining.org. Biblical Training "offers the finest in Christian evangelical teaching to the world, for free, forever." Dr. Tennent is Professor of World Missions and Director of Missions Programs at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.

My traffic-clogged commute has faded to the background as I've learned interesting nuggets during this lecture, such as the fact that Muhammed married his first wife, Khadija, when he was 25 and she was 40. She was a wealthy widow who owned many caravans and he was her manager. And why there are different sects in Islam and that signifies. And what historical analogy Muslims would have understood when Saddam Hussein declared "the mother of all wars." Or even which nation has the largest Muslim population in the world. (What's your guess? The answer is Indonesia.)

Now I'm downloading the Church History course from RTS on iTunes U. There are 32 lectures in this course. Suddenly, a month's commute is looking a lot more interesting!

Spreading the Gospel Through Technology

I've been reading The Washington Post nearly my entire life, but it still has the capacity to surprise me. This time, I was pleasantly surprised. On today's front page was a lengthy profile of how various Christian groups are using technology to reach pre-literate people groups around the world. Neither snarky nor suspicious, this straightforward account highlighted the innovative methods Christians are using to get the Word out. When I finished reading it, I broke out into spontaneous thanksgiving and worship, thanking the Lord for the myriad ways He uses His people to glorify Himself. I also took note of the author's name (Mary Jordan, of The Washington Post Foreign Service), and prayed that God would bless her in her work.

"Plugging the Planet Into the Word" begins this way:

RONG DOMRIEX, Cambodia -- Tel Im, a barefoot 13-year-old, sat cross-legged on a bamboo bench, eager for her reading lesson.

"Please turn to Lesson 33," said a woman's voice rising from a Sony cassette player powered by two wires clipped to a car battery. The tape was the closest thing to a school in this village shaded by banana trees, where water buffaloes meander in from the lime-green rice paddies.

Im and her classmates flipped to Page 134 for a passage from the New Testament.

"The title of this story is: 'Jesus Was Crucified,' " said the teacher on the tape, slowly pronouncing the words in Khmer, the local language, as the children followed along with their fingertips.

Six months ago, Im couldn't read a word and had never heard of Jesus. Now, thanks to a literacy program run by the local chapter of an international Bible group, she has a book -- the Bible -- that she can read, and she says she wants to become a Christian.

Using technological devices ranging from simple cassette tapes to solar-powered audio players and an iPod-like gadget called the Bible Stick, Christian groups are spending hundreds of millions of dollars a year to make one of the world's oldest books accessible in remote corners of the planet.

Complete versions of the Bible can now be downloaded onto cellphones in parts of Africa. To reach those who can't read -- nearly one-fifth of the world's population, according to the United Nations -- Christian groups are rapidly increasing production of audio and video versions.

Christian networks from the United States, Europe, Asia and elsewhere are working together, coordinating the efforts of people as diverse as a computer cartographer in Virginia and linguists in the jungles of Papua New Guinea.

Since 2000, the Bible -- or parts of it -- has been translated into 600 more languages, making it more accessible to tens of millions more people, according to the Forum of Bible Agencies International. An additional 1,600 translation projects are underway that will leave only about 3 to 5 percent of the world's population without the best-selling book of all time available in their native language.

Building on generations of work to distribute the printed Bible, Christian missionaries said new multimedia presentations in hundreds of languages are vastly expanding the Bible's audience and spreading the influence of the world's largest religion.

"It's a movement to revitalize religion in the world, and it's huge," said Laurie Westlake of Faith Comes By Hearing, a U.S.-based nonprofit group that works in 92 countries.

I was stunned to read that such quick progress had been made on Bible translations in only seven years! There are many more encouraging facts in the rest of the piece, so I highly encourage you to continue reading how Christians groups are using technology to expand the Bible's audience.

Photo caption: Children in Rong Domriex, Cambodia, learn to read by following along in their books as they listen to a NewTestament passage read on tape. (By Mary Jordan -- The Washington Post)

A Life Lived Well: Madonna Aristorenas

This is how I will always remember my friend, Madonna. She was so happy to show off her ring after her engagement this June. Suspecting that her boyfriend might propose on a trip to New York, I had sent my digital camera with her to capture this special moment. Gene Mercado proposed to her 17 months to the day after they began courting. They were planning for a January 12th wedding and I was going to be a bridesmaid.

But last Friday, Madonna passed away. She had battled breast cancer for six years. Actually, she had more than just battled cancer--she thrived in the midst of it. At her family funeral yesterday, her pastor said that during this time Madonna had been involved in every major outreach ministry of our church. A woman with a vibrant faith and a megawatt smile, she had an incredible passion for evangelism. In addition to all that she did in small group leadership and with our various international and evangelism outreach ministries, Madonna was also my assistant for the last several years of the single women's discipleship group. I don't know how she did it all, but I think one reason was that she resolutely kept her focus outward.

Madonna was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001, shortly after her 33rd birthday. As a single woman, she was tempted to think this would diminish her marriage prospects. But as we all know, our evaluation and understanding is supremely inferior to God's.

Earlier this year, I asked her to share her testimony as the opening illustration for a message I gave titled, "The Walk of Faith." I was pleased then that she was willing to do so--especially as she had only been out of the hospital for a few weeks after serious surgery. Now I'm deeply grateful for it.

Reflecting on her initial diagnosis, Madonna said: "At the time, I was so ashamed of the diagnosis because I knew this would change many things about me. I made a choice to limit who knew about my health. My motives were mixed. I didn't want to be bombarded with questions. And also I was ashamed because I knew I was going to lose all of my hair. Although I had reconstruction, I knew my body was going to look different."

After chemotherapy and radiation treatment, Madonna's cancer seemed to be headed toward remission. Then in March, 2005, she found a lump in her other breast, which led to the discovery of metastasized cancer in some of her bones.

"I had hoped that if my cancer were to return, it would be after I was married," she said. "I dreaded the idea of making these decisions alone and to walk through this alone. Also I was ashamed of how my body was going to look afterwards because of the scars. But God taught me once again that He was everything and He gave me the humility to openly share my current health situation. He showed me His care for me and that He would never leave me nor forsake me."

The following January, Gene asked her into a courtship. Though they had been friends for several years, she was surprised by his interest. In fact, many of us were. (Gene, this is just one of the many reasons you are a man worthy of honor!) Just as it seemed that Madonna might beat this recurrence of cancer, her tumor markers went up in November. Two months later, after spending a chunk of time in the hospital, she stood before a group of single women and concluded her testimony with these haunting words:

"My battle with cancer continues. But God continues to astound me with His care. I cannot believe how faithful He has been to me. It is far too vast a list to enumerate all He has done. I often view my circumstances and wonder what this walk would look like without the Lord. Although my circumstances appear bleak and beyond understanding, I am assured of this: I know that my worst problem has been taken care of on the cross. I'm assured that even if the treatment doesn't work, I will be with my Lord and Savior in heaven one day, rejoicing at all He has done."

One of Madonna's final outings was to attend a friend's wedding seven hours away by car. She was weak and in pain, but determined to rejoice with those who rejoice. Her outward focus remained until the end.

Madonna was one of my best friends and I miss her already. I miss joking with her about dating a younger man. I miss our girlie outings for tea, pedicures, and classical concerts. I miss her candid counsel and can-do attitude. I miss worshiping with her in church. I miss bringing her Frosty shakes when she was in the hospital and uninterested in hospital food. I miss her evangelistic enthusiasm--I could always count on her to reach out to new people. I miss singing to '80s music with her. And I miss the way she took to ending our phone conversations over the past month or so: "Love you, Cee Cee."

It was the last thing she ever said to me. I look forward to hearing her say it once again when we are reunited in heaven. Praise be to our Lord Jesus Christ, who took away the penalty for our sins--death--to offer us life everlasting.

(Photos, from top: Madonna showing off her engagement ring; Gene and Madonna in Central Park shortly before he proposed; in January, 2006, after they began courting; the last time I saw Madonna, at a mutual friend's wedding.)

A memorial service will take place next Wednesday, September 12th, at Covenant Life Church, where Madonna had been a faithful member for many years.

Fill Up Your iPod--for Free!

A few weeks ago, a friend asked me where he could find C.J. Mahaney's classic message, "The Main Thing." He wanted to recommend the sermon to another friend and send him the link for a free download. That message was one of many that eventually became part of C.J.'s book, Living the Cross-Centered Life. But at that time, the message wasn't available for a free download.

It is now.

All of the MP3 messages on the Sovereign Grace Store have just been made free to download. You can sort by topic, by event, or by speaker.

Want to check out C.J.'s messages? You just have to sort by his name. You can also find messages by other Sovereign Grace pastors such as Bob Kauflin, Josh Harris, Jeff Purswell, and Dave Harvey. Or you can find messages by guest speakers such as Al Mohler, Wayne Grudem, Mark Dever, Randy Alcorn, John Piper, David Powlison, Ken Sande, R.C. Sproul, Bruce Ware, and more.

You can also find messages from the GirlTalkers: Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, and Janelle Bradshaw.

How about specific topics? If you need messages on bible doctrine--the essential teachings of the Christian faith--you can find them on the store. You can also find messages on a wide range of topics, such as biblical counseling, modesty, finances, marriage, parenting, and much more.

Have fun shopping!