Radical Womanhood

The Real Mommy Wars

(Desiring God asked me to contribute a post to this week's Mommy Wars series. Here's my contribution...)

As a part of American jargon, the “mommy wars” have raged for more than 20 years. The term was coined in the late 1980s by Child magazine to describe the tension that existed between working and stay-at-home mothers. Since then, numerous books and articles have been published about the so-called mommy wars, feeding the talk show circuit and fueling blogosphere brushfires.

But our history of cultural ambivalence about motherhood is much longer. Allow me a moment for a quick overview.

Shortly after our nation was founded, motherhood hit a high note. As historian Glenna Matthews writes in Just A Housewife, this new political experiment needed mothers:

 There were no precedents for a republic on the scale of the United States. Many people believed that the new nation would require the support of a uniquely public-spirited citizenry. If citizens must learn to place a high value on the public interest, this was a lesson they would need to begin in childhood. Thus the home became crucial to the success of the nation and women—whose education began to be taken much more seriously than ever before—gained the role of ‘Republican Mother.’

Soon the Republican Motherhood concept began to spill out of the home into the public square as women organized benevolent agencies to combat drunkenness, slavery, gambling, and other problems of the age.

But Republican Motherhood met its demise when Charles Darwin released his 1859 publication, On the Origin of Species. Darwin viewed women as lesser beings in the system of evolution. His ideas were immediately embraced by Social Darwinists, who claimed that since men had always fought for survival in the world, they were honed by competition and natural selection. In comparison, women were sheltered from this process because they were at home with the children—thus, they “evolved” more slowly.

With motherhood thus devalued, children became the next targets. Margaret Sanger, who founded what later became Planned Parenthood, believed that most evils stemmed from large families. As she wrote in her 1920 book, Woman and the New Race, “the most merciful thing that a large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it.”

Sanger was a vocal proponent of eugenics—the theory of race improvement that was the cornerstone of Nazi Germany. Her monthly magazine, Woman Rebel, was published under the slogan, “No gods; no masters!” For Sanger, the birth control movement was founded on two goals: limiting the reproduction of the “unfit” and challenging Christian teaching by creating a “new morality.” She campaigned against women who “with staggering rapidity” were breeding “those numberless, undesired children who become the clogs and the destroyers of civilization.” Sanger’s scorched-earth writing left no one guessing about her views. Confidently, she predicted a future that never materialized—and arguably was precisely the opposite in the century that followed.

When motherhood becomes the fruit of a deep yearning, not the result of ignorance or accident, its children will become the foundation of a new race. There will be no killing of babies in the womb by abortion, nor through neglect in foundling homes, nor will there be infanticide. … Child slavery, prostitution, feeblemindedness, physical deterioration, hunger, oppression and war will disappear from the earth. … When the womb becomes fruitful through the desire of an aspiring love, another Newton will come forth to unlock further the secrets of the earth and the stars. There will come a Plato who will be understood, a Socrates who will drink no hemlock, and a Jesus who will not die upon the cross.

On the contrary, there is no hope for “child slavery, prostitution, feeblemindedness, physical deterioration, hunger, oppression and war to disappear from the earth” if the Father’s righteous anger against these terrible sins is not satisfied! Where would justice be in the universe if such sins go overlooked? There is no hope of a new heavens and a new earth, free from the effects of the fall, without the atonement of our sinless Savior. There is no hope for mercy to triumph over judgment unless it be found at the foot of that cross. Our only hope is the cross!

Therefore, the real “mommy wars” are not against other people and their parenting styles, nor even against Darwin, Sanger or those who promote similar ideologies. As Ephesians 6:12 says, “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” The real mommy wars are spiritual. And this conflict began with the very first mother, Eve.

Her initial assignment, along with her husband Adam, was to be “fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” (Gen. 1:28). But after the Fall, childbearing became painful and opposed. When the Lord God cursed the serpent that deceived Eve, He said, “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel” (Gen. 3:15). Ever since, Satan has labored to destroy the offspring of those who are made in the image of God. The real mommy wars are not against flesh and blood, but against the one who seeks to destroy the next generation of those who would rise up to praise God.

You may be a mother and in the thick of rearing children right now. Perhaps it took you several attempts to read this blog post, thanks to the constant interruptions of young children. Your daily life may consist of dozens of repetitive tasks that feel mundane and irrelevant. This is absolutely not true! You are engaged in spiritual warfare. You are standing against those who believe heinous lies, like “the most merciful thing that a large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it.” By bearing and nurturing life, you are reflecting the life-giving characteristics of our holy God! Made in His image, you are reflecting Him when you care for the lives He has created.

This applies to those of us who are childless, too. Whether you are not yet married, or married but not yet pregnant, or past the age of bearing children—whatever season of life you are in, you are still part of the great community of believers who are called to witness to the majesty of God: “One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts” (Psalm 145:4). It may be quite bitter not to have children of your own, but I ask you to be strategic about the battle. Where can you stand against the devil’s schemes and invest in the children God has already put in your life? Where can you reach out? So many hurting children exist and so many are being discarded.

The real “mommy war” needs every believing woman to enlist. The battle is more significant and more costly than we truly perceive.

------------

Carolyn McCulley adapted this blog post from her book, Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World. In addition to being a writer and speaker, Carolyn is also a director/producer and founder of Citygate Films.

Standing Firm in a Changing World

Sorry for the long silence there. We were truly unplugged out in the bush in Uganda. No internet, no TV. But we had some GREAT music. More on that later, as I update you on our trip. While I was missing in action from cyberspace, I didn't know I had the great privilege of being on Revive Our Hearts with my dear friend, Nancy DeMoss. I'm so grateful for Internet archives where I can listen to what was already broadcast on radio. So if you're catching up on things, as I am, check out the last four programs (September 2 to 7) online:

• Standing Firm in a Changing World (September 2), about the pressures young women face today that were unknown to previous generations 
• How to Build a Peaceful Home (September 3), about how the home became a place of consumption--instead of a place of productivity.
• A True Woman Knows Peace (September 4), about the history of Margaret Sanger, eugenics, and the birth control movement
• True Hope for Women (September 7), about modesty and the female raunch culture

Waking Up to Faith

Today is the first day of a three-day series on FamilyLife Today about Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World. Hosts Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine interviewed me last summer, just as my book was going to print, and now these interviews are airing. As I've experienced before with them, we had a great time -- mixing laughter with serious discussion. It's always a privilege to be asked to be on their show.

The program today, "Waking Up to Faith," is described as: "Are men really the problem? That's what Carolyn McCulley wondered as she grappled her way through her Women's Studies courses in college. Today, Carolyn remembers hearing the gospel clearly taught for the first time and tells how it radically changed her life and her beliefs about feminism."

Tuesday's program is "Feminism's Beginnings" and Wednesday's topic is "Feminism's Impact on Marriage and Family."

You can hear these shows on your local radio station or online at FamilyLife Today's site. Full transcripts are also available online by following the links above.

Free Stuff Friday!

It's a conspiracy of friends. Starting mid-morning Friday (Eastern time), Tim Challies is going to run a special offer on his Free Stuff Friday blog post. Why is it special? Because my book gets to be included! Tim will offer a bundle of five -- yes, FIVE -- books to five favored winners! So visit Challies.com to register for a chance to win Do Something (Kevin DeYoung), Get Married (Candice Watters), Start Your Family (Steve & Candice Watters), and Marriage Turnaround (Mitch Temple)--not to mention Radical Womanhood.

Early Views on Marriage

Today I'm a guest-blogger at my friend Candice Watter's site, Women Praying Boldly. Candice asked me to contribute a perspective on what feminism has done to marriage. Here's how I started:

One of the things I loved the most about Candice's book was the bold call to prayer.

I’ve been part of many “prayer circles” by single women who have petitioned the Lord, with thanksgiving, for husbands—and He has provided for numerous women in surprising ways! I’ve seen women of all ages, abilities, shapes, sizes, and ethnicities get married. One thing is for sure: marriage is not just for “certain” people, whatever your definition of the deserving may be.

That said, I’m glad I know the power of prayer—because for the last two hundred years, changes in our culture have certainly thrown up barriers to getting and staying married. If you find it frustrating or confusing to understand relationships and marriage today, you have good reason. It’s not just you. It’s our whole culture.

You may be surprised that I said two hundred years, and not just two or three decades. That was one of the things I learned as I collected research for my latest book, Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World. I knew that the women’s liberation movement that arose in my lifetime had downgraded marriage. But I didn’t know that there was a century of history before women’s lib hit in the 1960s. And those changes were very profound.

So I’d like to give you a brief overview of how relationships changed between men and women. Chances are, you may be quite unaware of this information, but you feel its effects every day.

In order to understand the gender confusion of the 21st century, you have to rewind past the girl power movement of the 1990s, the women’s liberation movement of the 1970s, the suburban domesticity of the 1950s, the Rosie-the-Riveter era of World War II, the sexual brazenness of the Jazz Age, and even the 19th-century push for women’s right to vote, right to the founding of our nation.

Read the rest on Candice's blog -- Early Views on Marriage (part one) and The Rise of the Hook-Up Culture (part two). If you leave a comment on her blog, you will also have a chance to win one of five copies of Radical Womanhood.

Link Love

I've been seeing some reviews of Radical Womanhood pop up on various blogs and I have enjoyed reading the feedback. (Google Alerts--such a helpful tool!) Below are some excerpts from recent reviews. However, there's more "link love" to come! My publisher, Moody, has generously agreed to supply a copy of my book to ten bloggers who would like to publish a review. All you have to do is leave a comment requesting the book and I'll follow up to get the book shipped to you. 

Book Nook Club: "This is quite possibly the best book written for Christian women that I've read to date. As someone who prefers classics, saying that about a book that was published in 2008 hopefully says a lot."

Chrysalis: "If you’re ready for a challenging read, and the opportunity to understand the source of confusion surrounding our God-given roles as women, I strongly recommend you get this book. Personally, I've gleaned much from its pages."

Hawley Home: "Lately I've had a difficult time finishing some books on my reading list. However, when I picked up Carolyn McCulley's Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World, I couldn't put the book down."

Reading to Know: "I'm grateful McCulley took the time to sit down and write this all out for my benefit. It's a useful tool and I welcome it!"

Ignorant Historian: "The best book I’ve read so far in 2009 (and I’ve read 20, so I have some room to talk)."

In a Mirror Dimly: "I am reading Radical Womanhood by Carolyn McCulley. This is my second read through this book - yes it’s that good."

Maidens of Worth: "I can't say I enjoyed this book, but it was definitely a good read. I'm glad I read it."

Sandra Peoples: "Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World by Carolyn McCulley is one of the best books I've read on the topic of biblical womanhood. It is academic enough to be used in the classroom, yet readable enough so that any one even casually interested in the topic couldn't help but keep reading."

Literary Lounge: "I recommend this book for all women, Christian or not … Feminist or not … Single or not. It’s an amazing look at the history of women and the current state of where we are today."

I appreciate these encouraging words!

UPDATE: Wow, ladies! Thanks for the enthusiastic reaction to this idea. I am conferring with my publisher and will soon email you directly about your kind offers!

A Conversation with Gary Chapman

I had the privilege of being interviewed by author Gary Chapman, host of the national "Building Relationships" radio program, and the interview aired this weekend. Gary was joined by co-hosts Chris and Andrea Fabry and the four of us had a great time talking about relationships, feminism, the differences between men and women, the history of the home, and much more. If you want to listen to our lengthy conversation, you can download the February 21 program from the show's website. Our conversation begins in segment two.

The Mommy Wars

In the Mommy Wars, every believing woman needs to enlist. That's the point of an excerpt from my book, Radical Womanhood, which is currently featured on Boundless and featured below. UPDATE: Boundless is simultaneously running a podcast interview I recorded last week with host Lisa Anderson, during which we chatted about all things radical.

This article is excerpted from a chapter titled "The Mommy Wars" from the book Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World by Carolyn McCulley. Carolyn describes this book as the one she wishes she had as a new believer — a book that provides the history of the feminist ideology that shaped our culture and then explains the Bible's teaching about women, marriage, sexuality, motherhood, and more. She is especially passionate that young women understand this history, as they are the ones who inherited the seismic fallout of this profound change but often are unaware of what happened.

* * *

"There is something about the phrase, 'Mommy Wars,' that makes me want to gouge out my own eyeballs with a fork, rather than have to read it ever again," wrote one blogger after reading yet another controversial article on the topic.¹

Twenty years of media hype would undoubtedly elicit that reaction. The term was coined in the late 1980s by Child magazine to describe the tension that existed between working and stay-at-home mothers.² Since then, numerous books and articles have been published about the so-called mommy wars, feeding the talk show circuit and fueling blogosphere brushfires.

Why is this such an enduring topic? It's because of our nation's long-standing conflicted attitude toward the importance and function of mothers.

Motherhood has taken a severe blow in terms of respect. But children have actually taken a greater blow, as I will discuss later in this chapter. And neither is a contemporary phenomenon. As we saw in the previous chapter, culturally the roots of the "mommy wars" go back almost two hundred years.

But spiritually, the war goes back to the very first mother, Eve. Her assignment, along with her husband Adam, was to be "fruitful and multiply and fill the earth" (Gen. 1:28). So when the Lord God cursed the serpent that deceived her, He showed how the battle would be fought against this command to be fruitful and multiply. "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel" (Gen. 3:15 NIV).

Ever since, Satan has labored to destroy the offspring of those who are made in the image of God. The real mommy wars are not against flesh and blood — other mothers and their parenting methods — but against the one who seeks to destroy the next generation of those who would rise up to praise God. We can debate all kinds of parenting philosophies, methods, and practices, but the real conflict is not with the proponents of opposite ideas. Most assuredly, there is a war and the price is high. Mothers (and fathers) are called to be strong warriors in this battle. But, as we've explored before in this book, Ephesians 6:12 tells us that our true opponents are not flesh and blood, but the spiritual forces of evil in this present darkness.

And in this battle, the casualties are numerous.

Let's explore why.

"The Clogs and Destroyers of Civilization"

Margaret Sanger was the founder of the modern birth control movement and a vocal proponent of eugenics — the theory of race improvement that was the cornerstone of Nazi Germany. Sanger believed that all evils stemmed from large families, especially large families of those she deemed as unfit. As she wrote in her 1920 book, Woman and the New Race, "The most merciful thing that a large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it."³

I can't even fathom saying such a thing, but Sanger's personal history undoubtedly influenced her thinking. She was born in 1879 in Corning, New York, the sixth of eleven surviving children. Her father was a stonemason and a supporter of radical socialist causes. Sanger's mother succumbed to tuberculosis at forty-nine. Sanger later said the strain of eighteen pregnancies was what broke her mother's health.1⁴

Sanger went on to study nursing and married in 1902. Her first pregnancy was a difficult one that landed her in a sanitarium for her confinement and recovery. But she regained her health and gave birth to two more children. In 1910, she began to work as a midwife and home nurse on the Lower East Side of New York City. A year later, she joined a radical labor movement and participated in several labor strikes.

By 1912, Sanger began writing a series of articles on female sexuality and contraception in the socialist publication, The Call, in bold defiance of then-current laws against the dissemination of information on sexually transmitted diseases and contraception. Two years later, by then separated from her husband whom she would later divorce, she founded the monthly magazine, Woman Rebel, under the slogan, "No gods; no masters!"⁵ In 1914, she fled to Europe after she was indicted for violating U.S. postal obscenity laws. But two years later, having avoided imprisonment, she was back in the U.S. to open the nation's first birth control clinic, in Brooklyn, New York. After ten days of operation, she was arrested and jailed. The trial made her a national figure, and it handed doctors the right to prescribe birth control advice.

In 1921, Sanger organized the American Birth Control League, which later became the Planned Parenthood Federation of America. For Sanger, the birth control movement was founded on two goals: limiting the reproduction of the "unfit" and challenging Christian teaching by creating a "new morality." She campaigned against women "with staggering rapidity" breeding "those numberless, undesired children who become the clogs and the destroyers of civilization."⁶ Sanger's scorched-earth writing left no one guessing about her views:

While unknowingly laying the foundations of tyrannies and providing the human tinder for racial conflagrations, woman was also unknowingly creating slums, filling asylums with insane, and institutions with other defectives. She was replenishing the ranks of the prostitutes, furnishing grist for the criminal courts and inmates for prisons. Had she planned deliberately to achieve this tragic total of human waste and misery, she could hardly have done it more effectively.⁷

[T]he most urgent problem to-day is how to limit and discourage the over-fertility of the mentally and physically defective. Possibly drastic and Spartan methods may be forced upon American society if it continues complacently to encourage the chance and chaotic breeding that has resulted from our stupid, cruel sentimentalism.⁸

She was equally as caustic about Christianity and the Bible's teaching on sexuality:

Let it be realized that this creation of new sex ideals is a challenge to the church. Being a challenge to the church, it is also, in less degree, a challenge to the state. The woman who takes a fearless stand for the incoming sex ideals must expect to be assailed by reactionaries of every kind. Imperialists and exploiters will fight hardest in the open, but the ecclesiastic will fight longest in the dark. He understands the situation best of all; he knows what reaction he has to fear from the morals of women who have attained liberty. For, be it repeated, the church has always known and feared the spiritual potentialities of woman's freedom.⁹

When women have raised the standards of sex ideals and purged the human mind of its unclean conception of sex, the fountain of the race will have been cleansed. Mothers will bring forth, in purity and in joy, a race that is morally and spiritually free.¹⁰

I think it's safe to say that with the perspective of nearly a century of hindsight, we have hardly attained a cleansed human race that is morally and spiritually free. To expect this kind of salvation from women is unwise, unbiblical, and downright impossible. As we will see in a following chapter, women did not manage to raise the sex standard — in fact, third-wave feminism gave rise to the feminine "raunch culture" we live in today...

(Read the rest of the excerpt on Boundless.org.)

A Christmas Gift Idea for Mentors

When you write a book published by a Christian company, it's a real thrill to find out that people outside the expected church readership are interested in your book. Lately I've received a handful of emails from women saying that their non-Christian colleagues or commuting friends want to read Radical Womanhood, too. I hoped that would happen, but I still smile with delight to find out that indeed it has!

I also received emails from two friends I met through their staff work for Campus Crusade (shout out here to Diane Martinelli and Heidi Michaelian!), asking about placing a bulk order for Christmas. They want to give a copy to each of the women they are mentoring. That was such a great idea that I asked my publisher, Moody, if they would be willing to arrange a special discount for this purpose. They graciously agreed to do it.

So if you have a women's Bible study or discipleship group and you are interested in doing the same thing, you are welcome to join Diane and Heidi in this venture. Moody is offering a 37% discount off the MSRP for orders of 10 books or more--better than Amazon! Shipping and any applicable taxes apply. This offer is good through December 31, 2008. To place your order, call 1-888-678-8812 or email mporders@moody.edu.

I am also working on a free small-group discussion guide to accompany this book, which I hope to post online in the new year.

Augusta Dean

Years ago, I discovered the family journal that has come down through my father's side of the family. It traces my ancestors through three generations of missionaries to India in the 19th century and on back to some Puritans who founded towns in Massachusetts. It's a fascinating journal and one that impressed upon me the spiritual heritage that I have received.

One of the main characters, if you will, of this journal is Augusta Dean. She's my triple great-grandmother. I wrote a bit about her story in the concluding chapter of Radical Womanhood. But just a few weeks ago, I discovered we have a photograph of her. This was a priceless discovery to me, which I'm sharing with you. Here's my tribute to her from my book:

I would like to take you back to those heady moments in the 19th century when women were being included in church life and social reform was a pressing matter. As the first wave of feminism was gaining momentum, there were small bands of Christians who looked at injustice, inequity, and poverty and decided to meet these problems head on with the gospel. They were Christians who went out as part of the first American missionary wave to other nations—sent by the fledgling organization, the American Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions (ABCFM).

My ancestors were among them. At age 22, Amos Abbott and Anstice Wilson were married in Wilton, New Hampshire. He was a graduate of Andover Theological Seminary with an assignment to teach at a mission school in Amednugger, India. Eleven days after their wedding, they sailed for India. Their journey from Boston to Bombay required about four months of ocean travel through rough waters. A civil war was in progress when the Abbotts reached India, but they persevered.

For the next twenty years, the Abbotts ministered in India and raised six children. Anstice Abbott started a school for her children and the children of other missionaries, too. Eventually the family returned to America in order to provide their children with a good education and allow Amos to get a medical degree. While they were back home in the United States, Augusta met one of the students her father was tutoring in the Marathi Indian dialect—Samuel Dean. After a brief courtship, Samuel asked Augusta to join him in India to continue the family’s work. Just like her mother, Augusta was married and put out to sea in a matter of days. In those days, families said a final goodbye to each other, not knowing when or if they would see each other again. So her parents wished Augusta goodbye and sent their daughter back to India.

Samuel proved to be an effective preacher and church-planter. In addition to conducting regular preaching services and organizing new churches near his own home, Samuel often journeyed into the remote sections of India where people had never heard the name of Christ—and Augusta often went with him. Sometimes they camped for days, with snakes and bubonic plague an ever-present danger. Eventually this hard work wore down Samuel, and the family returned to America in 1867 so Samuel could recover his health. He went on to be a church-planter in Nebraska for the next dozen or so years before he died.

So in 1889, Augusta found herself a widow in a changing world. Many controversies were shaking the nation and the church, but Augusta decided to go back to India. She wanted to work with her sister, Annie, who ran a home for young widows. Because the girls would marry very young in India, many of the widows were practically children. Since the widows were considered disgraceful in India culture, these young girls were shunned by society and their own families. The home that Annie ran protected these widows, gave them a basic education, and schooled them in a marketable craft. The older widows who attained sufficient proficiency in reading were known as the “Bible Women”—a point of controversy in the Hindu culture.

The Dean and Abbott influence was felt in this section of India. When Augusta returned a second time to India, she was greeted shortly thereafter by an Indian man who had searched for her, hearing that the widow of the great preacher, Samuel Dean, was nearby. He wanted to tell her how fruitful Samuel’s preaching was that day, for now there were several churches in the region that sprung from his preaching. And he wanted to pay his respects to the widow of the great Samuel Dean.

August spent nearly five years working with the “Bible Women” there, before she returned home. In an age when transoceanic travel was hard work, she made the trip to India twice to face down Hindu intimidation and teach important life skills to abandoned widows.

Augusta was a very fruitful woman, spiritually. All of her children became Christians, and she left a rich spiritual heritage to them. She was a fearless helpmate to her husband, working with him to found churches in two nations. She ran her own home, educated many children (including her own), and still served women from another culture who were wrongfully discarded within their own society. Augusta’s letters indicate a bright, headstrong, and outspoken woman. She could have pushed through many things for herself, but she deferred to her husband’s gifting and helped him be as successful as possible.

I often wonder about her, my ancestor and sister in the Lord. She could have been influenced by first-wave feminism, but she chose another path. She saw inequity and injustice in India, and chose to meet that need through the gospel. She could have enjoyed her retirement in relative ease in the U.S., but she chose to give away her life to those who desperately needed it. And when she returned to India, she received the good news of the fruit of her co-labors with her husband. Together, they accomplished much—and by all accounts, stayed true to the glorious gospel.

It’s my joy to honor her memory. Augusta was truly a radical woman, whose feminine expression of faith stood the test of time in a feminist world.