Radical Womanhood

Look Sorrow in the Face

Yesterday I mentioned the need to "preach the gospel" to yourself--and to help others do the same. My friends at the "Of First Importance" blog have created a resource to help us all do that. Each day this blog will provide one quote to help you live in the good of the gospel. For those who are suffering or grieving, here is one quote that ministered to me today in the midst of a heavy burden for a friend:

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb.--John 20:11

“What the Lord expects from us at such seasons is not to abandon ourselves to unreasoning sorrow, but trustingly to look sorrow in the face, to scan its features, to search for the help and hope, which, as surely as God is our Father, must be there. In such trials there can be no comfort for us so long as we stand outside weeping.

If only we will take the courage to fix our gaze deliberately upon the stern countenance of grief, and enter unafraid into the darkest recesses of our trouble, we shall find the terror gone, because the Lord has been there before us, and, coming out again, has left the place transfigured, making of it by the grace of his resurrection a house of life, the very gate of heaven.”

- Geerhardus Vos, Grace & Glory

Hearing Voices

Sometimes it's painfully obvious when God is redirecting your schedule. Last night was such a time.

I had come home early, very tired, but with a full schedule of tasks for the evening. I opened my computer, saw the email about the latest Boundless articles, and clicked through to read the first piece, Kamikaze At My Back. It was a highly descriptive piece about living with depression and the fear of mental illness. I appreciated the vivid imagery and the writer's craft. Then I noticed a link to a related article about helping your suicidal friend. Out of curiosity, I clicked through and read the piece.

A few minutes later, a new and urgent email popped into my inbox. A mutual friend was letting me know that another woman was struggling with suicidal thoughts and was being advised to check into a psychiatric hospital. Could anyone take her?

Ummm....I guess I know who is supposed to go.

When I picked up my friend, she was lucid, relatively light-hearted, packed, and ready to go. We talked and prayed on the way over to the hospital. She seemed anything but suicidal to me. So, knowing her decades-long struggle with mental illness, I asked why she and her doctor thought it was serious enough to go to the hospital. She said the voices were telling her bad things, telling her to take her life. So we talked about God's truth and how to wield the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Doing battle with Scripture can simply be repeating aloud what you've gleaned from the Bible in order to preach to yourself and fill your own ears with truth. She has grown in this spiritual discipline and I could see it from the last time she was hospitalized. I couldn't offer any insight into her medical status or treatment history, but I could remind her of God's steadfast love and offer her evidences of His grace in her life that I could observe and reflect back to her. In her perseverance, she is bringing glory to God.

When we got to the hospital, I was allowed to accompany her to her in-take interview. It was an interesting experience. This staff member then left us in the tiny interview room with the door open. During our wait, I kept pointing out to her the progress she has made in trusting God. I was concerned that she might be identifying more with the label of mental illness than her status as a child of God--which would be understandabe in her present circumstance.

Then I reached in my purse and felt the gooey presence of leaking lip gloss. Without missing a beat, I began to take everything out of my purse and clean it off, lining everything up neatly on the chair next to me. As I did so, we started talking about how God speaks to each of us and how we recognize His voice among our many thoughts. Still wiping and sorting, I suddenly burst into laughter. I realized that if anyone overheard our conversation and walked in to see my purse-cleaning display, they might wonder who was the prospective patient. Fortunately, my friend saw the humor in that, too, and laughed along with me. It was a good sign. We hugged goodbye when the nurse came to take her to her unit and I reminded her that many friends would be praying for her in the coming days.

On the way home, I began to think about the fine line that separates our perception of normal and abnormal. How do you sort out the voice of sin's temptation? The voice of the Enemy who accuses and condemns? The voice of the Holy Spirit who convicts us of sin, but does so redemptively? The Word of God helps us to judge our thoughts by the plumb line of Scripture, spotlighting truth and uncovering lies. But to those without faith in the living God, who have no Bible knowledge, how would they evaluate such a conversation as we had in that tiny room at the hospital? Hearing any other voice than your own is the stuff of delusions in a medical model.

Yet, we who follow Jesus know His voice--the Lord promised that we would. The voice that speaks of destruction is the voice of the one who comes to "steal and kill and destroy." The voice that speaks of life and abundance is the voice of the Good Shepherd.

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers." This figure of speech Jesus used with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them.

So Jesus again said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. (John 10:1-16)

I walked away from my friend last night, confident that I would see her again. My confidence does not spring from the fact that she was now hospitalized, however. My confidence is in the Good Shepherd who laid down His life for this sheep, removing the penalty of sin and offering His unblemished righteousness. When her Redeemer speaks, I know she will hear Him. For now, it is a battle to tune out the one who seeks to kill and destroy. But the Good Shepherd has rescued her time and again. I know He will continue to speak to her and lead her out in the way of life everlasting.

(Photo courtesy of Aschwin Prein.)

Tears No More

Sometimes bad news breaks like wave upon wave upon the shore--relentless pounding, one wave engulfing the next. So your prayer list about significant suffering grows longer: Two friends with cancer. A young man in a coma. A burn victim. A little girl with lymphoma. A miscarriage. A car accident.

And the deadliest shooting rampage in U.S. history.

How do you process it? How do you pray? With honesty, yes. But with gospel-centered hope, too. This tsunami of sin and suffering engulfs us all. There is no way out. At least not in our own wisdom or strength. But the good news in suffering and devastation is that it has been redeemed by the Holy One most offended by it all. God's mercies--oh, the bliss of this thought!--never come to an end.

My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is; so I say, "My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the LORD."

Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."

The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man that he bear
the yoke in his youth.

Let him sit alone in silence
when it is laid on him;
let him put his mouth in the dust--
there may yet be hope;
let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,
and let him be filled with insults.

For the Lord will not cast off forever,
but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
for he does not willingly afflict
or grieve the children of men. --Lamentations 3:17-33

The hands that were pierced for the sins of the world are the very hands that will one day wipe the tears from the faces that are turned toward Him in trust and adoration for His salvation. This had been promised long before Jesus ever lived.

He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the LORD has spoken. It will be said on that day, "Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation." --Isaiah 25:8-9

This tender display of heaven's compassion is portrayed twice in the book of Revelation. No more tears, no more death. God will make all things new. Hallelujah!

For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.--Revelation 7:17

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new."--Revelation 21:1-5

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!

(With deepest condolences to the families of the slain Virginia Tech students.)

The Suffering Servant

A good friend of mine is undergoing serious surgery today, and I am understandably distracted in my concern for her. She is the subject of many prayers as she is deeply loved by many.

Her suffering is inexplicable in many ways, but I can testify that God has been using it. One of the most obvious fruits in her life is that she is not identified by her suffering, but rather by her passion for Christ. In fact, sometimes I have to remind myself that she is indeed seriously sick for she does not wear her illness as a badge. Even as she has been in the hospital, she has been thinking about the details of an Easter outreach that she was administrating.

As we pray today, on Good Friday, we are praying to One who has known far more suffering and injustice. Jesus suffered incredible physical torture while being flogged and hung on the cross, nailed through fragile appendages and left to suffocate by the weight of His own body. But that must have paled in comparison to bearing the just punishment from the Father for the sins of those He came to save. The cross is the answer to that question we whisper in the dark night of the soul--"Why, God?" The cross is our justice for the grievous ways we've been sinned against, for God is not an unjust God. Sin will be punished: either it will be visited upon a Savior who was our sinless substitute, or it will be visited upon those who committed the sin. Since we have all sinned and fall short of God's perfect standard, the cross is our glorious and divine rescue. What we could not atone for on our own has been paid for by our Lord Jesus Christ, for those who repent and trust Him for this awesome gift. Because mercy triumphs at the cross, it is also our greatest hope--especially in times of great trials or suffering.

That is my attempt to articulate the reason we celebrate Good Friday and why my friend can be joyful in the midst of tremendous suffering. But I've never found a more heart-wrenching portrait than that found in When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steven Estes. The first time I heard these words, they were read aloud in a sermon by my pastor, C.J. Mahaney. No one was dry-eyed by the end. It is a powerful recounting of what Scripture teaches us. For those of you who know the profound truth of this scene, may you rejoice this Easter weekend in what has been done on your behalf. And if you are suffering, may this account refresh your faith. If, however, you have not yet put your trust in this divine exchange and repented of the sins that separate you from God, I pray that the Lord will open your eyes and heart this Easter weekend, just as He did unexpectedly for me one Easter several years ago.

The Savior was now thrown to men quite different fom the eleven. The face that Moses had begged to see--was forbidden to see--was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth's rebellion now twisted around his own brow. His back, buttocks, and the rear of his legs felt the whip--soon they looked like the plowed Judean fields outside the city. . . .

"On your back with you!" One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier's heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner's wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier's life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do "all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the soldier live on--he grants the warrior's continued existence. The man swings. . . .

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being--the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father's eye turns brown with rot.

His Father! He must face his Father like this!

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.

"Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped--murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten--fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk--you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp--buying politicians, practicing extortion, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves--relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, I loathe these things in you! Disgust for everything about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?"

The Father watches as his heart's treasure, the mirror-image of himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah's stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

"Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!"

But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply. Two eternal hearts tear--their intimate friendship shaken to the depths.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished. . . .

This is who asks us to trust him when he calls on us to suffer.

Turning Godward In Trials

I'll be honest--except for the trial of prolonged singleness, I've not suffered very much in my life. Yet. Who knows what the future holds. But as for the present, yes, there is some aspect of suffering. Though singleness is a grace gift (1 Cor 7), that doesn't mean singleness is a bed of roses. Every gift has its refining moments. Even Paul suffered as an apostle and a single man, but that doesn't negate the grace given to him or the good purpose of God's plan for his life. Or for your life. Or for mine.

So how do you lead your life when you are experiencing trials in those circumstances? I think it's important to understand what Scripture says:

Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity. For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God. (1 Corinthians 7:17-24).

A few weeks ago, Robin Boisvert, a pastor in my church, preached on this passage. The message was titled "Leading the Life the Lord Allotted." As Robin stated, what ultimately defines us is not our station in life, but our relationship to Christ. When God saves you, he transforms those circumstances into opportunities for the Gospel to move and to change people. (This does not mean our circumstances won't change or improve. It just means that we need God's perspective to properly view our current circumstances.) This is a refreshing message for anyone who thinks that their life would vastly improve if only something would change.

I have huge respect for those who walk through significant trials but who can still praise God for these disappointments or challenges. I recently watched a short video in wonder as a wife praised her husband for the way he has led their family through exceptionally difficult health crises. Her story starts with the happy news of how she was engaged during her senior year of college. But a month before her wedding, she was diagnosed with a serious autoimmune disorder. This is never in the picture when we daydream about a wedding, is it? Yet, this is only the beginning of the story. Let me say that after I finished this video, I thought to myself, I want to be like this woman one day. I don't mean that I want to endure her trials. I just want to exhibit faith like she does. But I suspect the two go hand-in-hand. That would certainly be the testimony of those Christians who have lived before us. I would encourage you to take a few moments to watch as Mrs. Jeff Hutchison praises her husband for leading their family so well. (This was a tribute video played at The Summit conference for men, a regional Sovereign Grace Ministries conference held in 2006. There are more tribute videos and messages from this conference available online.)

Finally, I received many emails following the Valentine's Day testimony I posted last month from a young woman whose intended fiance is in a coma. For anyone interested in an update, Ian's family is building an addition to bring him home even though there hasn't been a huge amount of progress. If the Lord puts it on your heart to invest in this venture, you can send a check made out to Lord of Life Church, with a notation in the memo for the Ian Murphy Fund. You can mail them to Lord of Life Church, 1220 Wayne Ave., Indiana, PA 15701. Thanks for your interest and prayers for Ian Murphy.

God's Grace and Your Sufferings

Last night in discipleship group, we spent a lot of time praying. The women in this group and those they know and love are suffering various trials. In God's loving providence, the topic that night was about how to wisely evaluate and process our emotions. With trials, emotions are amplified. When our situations and our emotions threaten to engulf us, we need to draw on a reservoir of God's truth that we've deposited in less difficult seasons. As I've often heard from the pulpit, the time to prepare for loss or suffering is before, not during, difficulties.

For that reason, I am recommending Suffering and the Sovereignty of God. This was originally a national conference hosted by Desiring God. Those messages were then turned into a book by the same name. In my recent devotions, I've been reading David Powlison's chapter, titled "God's Grace and Your Suffering." In this chapter, Dr. Powlison unpacks what this process looks like. Here's how he introduces a biblical panorama on suffering:

How does God meeting you in trouble, loss, disability, and pain? You probably already know the "right answer." He does not immediately intervene to make everything all better. Yet he continually intervenes, according to his gracious purposes, working both in you and in what afflicts you. If you've read Psalms, if you've heard a sermon on the second half of Romans 8, if you've worked through 1 Peter in a Bible study, if you've read the earlier chapters of this book, then you've got the gist already.

How does God's grace engage your sufferings? We may know the right answer. And yet we don't know it. It is a hard answer. But we make it sound like a pat answer. God sets about a long slow answering. But we try to make it a quick fix. His answer insists on being lived out over time and into the particulars. We act as if just saying the right words makes it so. God's answer insists on changing you into a different kind of person. But we act as if some truth, principle, strategy, or perspective might simply be incorporated into who we already are. God personalizes his answer on hearts with uncanny flexibility. But we turn it into a formula: "If you just believe _____. If you just do _____. If you just remember ____." No important truth ever contains the word "just" in the punch line.

How does God's grace meet you in your sufferings? We can make the right answer sound old hat, but I can guarantee this: God will surprise you. He will make you stop. You will struggle. He will bring you up short. You will hurt. He will take his time. You will grow in faith and in love. He will deeply delight you. You will find the process harder than you ever imagined--and better. Goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life (Ps. 23:6). No matter how many times you've heard it, no matter how long you've known it, no matter how well you can say it, God's answer will come to mean something better than you could ever imagine.

I highlighted two sentences in there that I think are priceless for processing our trials: "God's answer insists on changing you into a different kind of person. But we act as if some truth, principle, strategy, or perspective might simply be incorporated into who we already are." That concept can really rock our world. God is changing us, but we typically just want relief.

That also gives us a perspective for helping others in their dark circumstances. I often think how the only thing Job's friends got right was when they sat in silence with him. David Powlison also addresses how "Job's friends" and even well-meaning friends can make our suffering even more pronounced:

Suffering often brings a doubled pain. in the first place, there is "the problem" itself--sickness, poverty, betrayal, bereavement. That is hard enough . . . But it is often compounded by a second problem. Other people, even well-meaning, often don't respond very well to sufferers. Sufferers are often misunderstood, or meddled with, or ignored. These reactions add relational and psychological isolation to "the problem" . . .

Here is another way this happens. People who love you often focus exclusively on "the problem." They ask about "the problem." They pray that God would solve "the problem." They offer advice for solving "the problem." They care for you! These are well-meaning attempts to be helpful. But the effect can become unkind. For example, many significant sufferings have no remedy until the day when all tears are wiped away. Your disease or disability is incurable. The injustice will not be remedied in your lifetime. Your loved one is dead. The marriage is over. The money is gone. There may be partial helps along the way. There may be partial redemptions. There will be no fix. Often the biggest problem for any sufferer is not "the problem." It is the spiritual challenge the problem presents: "How are you doing in the midst of what you are going through? What are you learning? Where are you failing? Where do you need encouragement? Will you learn to live well and wisely within pain, limitation, weakness, and loss? Will suffering define you? Will faith and love grow, or will you shrivel up?" These are life-and-death issues--more important than "the problem" in the final analysis. They take asking, thinking, listening, responding. They take time. Other people are often clumsy and uncomprehending about the most important things, while pouring energy and love into solving what is often insoluble.

This week, we will look at suffering from many different angles. Whether your circumstances today are dark or bright, now is the time to develop a solid understanding of God's redemptive purposes in suffering. I highly recommend Suffering and the Sovereignty of God to you. You can listen to or freely download the messages from Desiring God (thanks to their extraordinary generosity) or you can purchase the book. Or both. This resource will equip you to process your own circumstances and to minister to others who suffer.