Radical Womanhood

A Labor of Love

Every four years, I find myself giving birth. Unfortunately, not to a child but to a book. So I'm pleased announce I am writing a third book. I'm due at the end of the year but this baby won't appear in public until January 2014 from B&H Publishing. We'll figure out what to call it later on. 

I'm also pleased to announce I'm test-driving some of the material at this weekend's Christian Working Woman conference in Chicago. If you're in the area, check it out. I'd love to meet you. Unfortunately, I won't be able to introduce you to my co-writer, Nora Shank. She'll be at home doing the heavy lifting while I'm running around talking.

So what's the book about? Let me introduce you via the first draft of the preface. Read it and send your questions and comments. Just like with Radical Womanhood, I'll be working out some of the material here with you all, the loyal readers. I look forward to your feedback!

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In the age of science, truth oddly enough became one of its first victims.

Take for example, the idea that the earth is flat. We’ve all been taught that our ancestors believed this because church leaders promoted it. But in fact, the idea of a spherical world had been accepted as early as the 4^th century B.C.[1] Anyone who has watched a boat sail over the edge of the horizon and return could never have believed the earth was flat. So where did this idea come from? Two books in the late 19^th century promoted this idea to stigmatize Christian beliefs and support “scientific” thinking. After their publication, nearly every secondary-school textbook in America featured that “fact,” even if diligent study of historical materials and common sense dictated otherwise.[2]

Truth was squashed to serve an ideological agenda.

As 21^st century women, we also have been handed a number of “flat earth” facts about our lives that we accept without question. Those beliefs are sometimes shared by the men in our lives, which makes this problem ultimately a human one. It can be hard to discern them except for one factor: you can recognize a “flat earth” fact by the one-size-fits-all box that it comes with.

I am passionate about calling out “facts” that are based on one-size-fits-all thinking. Especially when the advice is applied broadly to all women at all times, no matter their circumstances, location, training, gifting, or personal histories. Most importantly, I am passionate about calling out “facts” that don’t line up with the grace, mercy, and freedom offered to us in the gospel of Jesus Christ—especially for those who have never heard that good news! That’s why I wanted to write this book—to help women in many stages of life to think clearly about the God-given gifts and opportunities they have, and how to invest those individual and specific situations in light of the reality of eternity.

You probably picked up this book because you have questions about work/life balance. I’ve been thinking about the topic for decades myself. I grew up in the midst of the women’s liberation movement of the 1960s and 1970s, studied journalism and feminist women’s studies in college, and then became a Bible-believing Christian at 30—which shook up all my prior assumptions about being female. I’ve worked all my life because I had to support myself as a single woman. I have a high view of marriage and motherhood, even though I’ve never had children of my own. And I’ve traveled extensively to other nations, where most of my American ideas and assumptions have been challenged. In other words, I’ve been all around the circle when it comes to the issue of being female and what we “should” be doing as women.

In a way, this book is the third in a trilogy. My first book explored the concept of being a godly, fruitful woman who was unmarried.[3] I wrote it when I realized I was carrying around a silly notion that “real” womanhood was somehow conferred on those who got married and had children. That concept collided with the truth of the Proverbs 31 woman—a passage in the Bible that describes an incredibly competent, financially savvy, generous, hospitable, loving woman who is fruitful and does good “all the days of her life” (Prov. 31:12). That passage is a portrait of wise living in many seasons of a woman’s life, an acrostic that was taught to a young future ruler by his wise mother so that he’d know both his alphabet and what to look for in an unmarried woman who would one day make an excellent wife. In other words, these are virtues that need to be cultivated in every season of a woman’s life, especially the early years. That insight revealed I had been deriving more identity from an adjective (“single”) than a noun (“woman”), which was not the emphasis I saw in the Bible. In studying what Scripture said about being a woman made in the image of God, I was released from my false concept that being single was somehow less feminine. (Less preferred is another matter. That’s where the trusting God theme came in.)

That project led to further contemplation of the meaning of womanhood and the publication of my second book, which was really the book I wanted to read as a new believer.[4] I wanted someone to explain to me the history of feminism—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and compare it with what I was reading in the Bible. How did our culture end up with so many contrasting definitions and evaluations of femininity?

In doing the research for this book, I was startled to discover I basically knew nothing about the history of the home. I had no idea that my understanding was derived solely from a 20^th-century American experience, where the home was seen as a place to store your stuff and showcase your taste. I had no idea how profoundly the 19^th century had influenced the role, place, and activities of the home. For most of history, the home had been a place of productivity and the small business unit of the local economy. By the 20^th century, it became a center of consumption. The public sphere—the marketplace—was the valued sphere. The private sphere—the place of intangible investment—was the devalued sphere. Yet all the activities of the private sphere were the ones that awaited eternal reward: the cultivation of loving marriages, the rearing and discipling of the next generation, the care for elderly or disabled relatives, and the mission of outreach to neighbors and hospitality for the church.

So what about that public sphere? Having written about biblical womanhood, marriage, motherhood, and the private sphere, I was left with one more area to consider. Ironically, right after the publication of my second book, I plunged headfirst into the world of small-business entrepreneurs by establishing my documentary film company in the depths of the Great Recession. It was a brand-new lesson in trusting God for provision and wisdom to manage others. As I was busy trying to keep my company afloat, my pastor suggested that I consider writing another book, this time on the topic of women and work. Overwhelmed with daily tasks, I laughed at the idea when he brought it up. But it took root and began to grow.

At the same time, I was receiving emails and calls from a friend whose life trajectory was very different from mine, but who had some of the same questions about women and productivity. I had known Nora Shank for a few years while she was single, but now she was a 30-year-old married mother of two with a part-time business living on the opposite side of the country. Whatever Nora found in the news or the blogosphere about work, she forwarded to me. As my inbox grew and our conversations lengthened, I realized our divergent life experiences were a great reason to collaborate. So we began brainstorming about this book.

I think it’s no surprise that far more verses in the Proverbs 31 portrait are about productivity and financial management than relationships. The divide we created in the 19^th century between work and home is an artificial one. In the biblical narrative, work is a co-labor of love. In response to criticism that He healed a sick man on the Sabbath, Jesus said, “My Father is working until now, and I am working” (John 5:17). His work was to glorify His Father and help others. Ours is the same.

Over the years, I’ve talked to many women about whether or not they should pursue a career. My answer is always no. Not because I’m trying to hand someone else another one-size-fits-all box, but because the modern concept of “career” is a selfish one. It’s ultimately about self-fulfillment and self-definition.

What should women do instead? Become good investors. It is God who gives us the relationships, children, time, talents, interests, and tasks that fill our days and years. We can’t force these things to happen nor are these things our true and complete identities. We may be wives or mothers, but as important as these are, they are roles that end in this life. We continue on as children of God and sisters to those who have been rescued by Christ. We may work in highly esteemed professions or we may not be paid for our daily labors. Those roles are not our identities, either. They are opportunities to steward for the glory of God. Whatever God gives us in terms of relationships and opportunities, He wants multiplied for the sake of His kingdom.

What follows is our exploration of how that looks for different women at various stages of life. May you find much encouragement to be a creative, fruitful, and industrious woman in the pages that follow. Join us as we jump into the adventure of co-laboring with our Creator in loving others through our productivity.

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[1] Flat Earth: The History of an Infamous Idea, Christine Garwood, New York: Thomas Dunne Books, St. Martin’s Press, 2007, p. 20.

[2] Stephen Jay Gould, “The Late Birth of a Flat Earth,” Dinosaur in a Haystack: Reflections in Natural History (New York: Crown, 1996), 38–52.

[3] Crossway Books published Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred in 2004.

[4] Moody Publishers released Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World in 2008.

Privacy, Friends and Facebook

I am desperately waiting for a new social network--one that actually values its customers and the reasons they use social media. Until then, I'm stuck with the nation of Facebook. But it's precisely because of Facebook's arrogance in abusing its customers' privacy that I've had to risk offending a few people in my network recently.

Let me explain. A few months ago, Facebook rolled out facial recognition software and automatically made that option available on all of its customers' profiles--despite any kind of custom privacy levels we had already chosen. Right after that happened, I had a few conversations with some of my local friends (i.e., people I often see in the flesh and not on a screen) about their own preferences in being online. Some don't want to be "Google-able" because of the sensitive nature of their jobs. (There are a lot of those people employed by three-letter agencies in the DC area). Some simply don't want their business known everywhere and don't want to be tagged in photos. And some don't want pictures of their children online. 

That made me think through the impact of my choices on their privacy. Because I am an author, speaker, and filmmaker I have chosen to put myself in a more public position, albeit one that barely blips on the celebrity radar screen. When Facebook got started, there wasn't a very good option to separate your personal network from your professional network. As I recall, you could create a fan page and that seemed awkward to me. I couldn't imagine asking someone to become my "fan" instead of my "friend." Eventually, Facebook allowed people to create public pages for their professional efforts. By that point, I already had a jumbled network of people as Facebook friends, some of whom I had never met, some I'd only briefly met, and some whom I really knew and could recognize their names and faces. And my personal updates and pictures of friends and family went out to all of them.

Procrastination won the day for quite some time because I didn't relish having to sort it all out. But after the latest Facebook blunder, I figured I owed it to my flesh-and-blood relationships to do the hard work of paring down my friend network and setting up a public page. I am still in that process. So far, most people have been very gracious about my notice to defriend them and my invitation to join my public page. I am honored by their initial interest in my activities, so I have been slowly writing personal notes to each and every one of them, explaining my reasons. It's a lot of work, but I hope it minimizes any offense. In the end, I'm sure that most people will find what I post on my public page a lot more relevant than the latest pictures of a cookout, kids playing or something else equally mundane in the course of life.

Having a Facebook public page also means that this blog will continue to be the place where I write longer entries. But my public page is likely to be updated more often with quick links and items of interest. I invite you to join that page if you want to be updated more than once every week to ten days -- or whenever I have a thought longer than 400 characters. 

Oh, and while I'm explaining my views about online networking, let me also clarify that my Twitter account is primarily about film news and updates. So if you want to know more about the world of Citygate Films, please feel free to follow that. But it might bore you if you're not a hardcore film person. I'm also on LinkedIn, but not very active. Since that is a professional network, I really am selective about connections there. I will only accept links to people I have worked with or know fairly well. 

Social media has so many implications for our relationships -- how we use it, when we use it, how it is read, etc. I'd like to hear more from you all how you process these decisions and what biblical concepts have shaped your use of it.

Liberation and the Sabbath

The other day, I sent an email to a client around 9:00 pm. He wrote back right away, even though it was "after hours." 

"After hours." Remember that concept? It used to be that work was contained within certain boundaries. I remember back at the turn of the century if I sent an email "after hours," I was likely to get a response that started with, "What are you doing at work so late?" But now, thanks to smart phones and other devices, our work spills into all sorts of hours and no one seems to notice anymore.

On some level, that's helpful. These tools allow us to be productive at times that serve our personal schedules. But on another level, that means it's hard to turn work off. I find that I carry around my phone and reflexively check it everywhere. With a few quick keystrokes, I can respond to emails and keep the workflow on track. As a small business owner, I need to keep the tasks moving ahead. It's a good day if my inbox is under 100 messages. But as a Christian, I wonder about how it has affected my ability to turn off, rest, and worship. I also wonder how, through these tools and habits, I affect the ability of others to rest and worship.

Ironically, it was through the Entrepreneurship Initiative (Ei) Forum in New York City that I received a recording from Tim Keller that helped me think through some of these issues. Appropriately titled "Work and Rest," this 2003 message was given before work became omnipresent. I highly recommend that you listen to it. Some of Tim Keller's key points in this message are listed below:

• Examining Luke 6:1-11, we see that Jesus did not abolish the Sabbath, but affirmed it by saying He was Lord of the Sabbath. Which means that Jesus is Lord of rest.
• How can you rest? You rest when you think your work is good and complete. This is modeled for us in Genesis 1, when God creates the world, says it is good, and He who needs it not, rests.
• Why is it hard for us to rest? Because we are always seeking affirmation and identity in our productivity and accomplishments. But the incredible concept of Christianity is that the only One to whom you have to prove yourself has already completed what you cannot do. Jesus is the only One who can truly say, "It is finished." Therefore, it is through the finished work of Jesus that we can rest.
• The Sabbath is an act of liberation. "Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the LORD your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore the LORD your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day." (Dt. 5:15 NIV). If you don't rest, you are a slave -- a slave to your job, to the expectations of others, to your own reputation, whatever. 
• Rest is an act of trust. It says, "I'm not the One who keeps the world running. I am not God."

There's much to mine out of this message. But if there's one concept that really leapt out at me, it was the idea that the Sabbath is an act of liberation. By not taking Sabbath rest seriously, I am keeping myself enslaved when I have already been set free by Christ. And by not taking Sabbath rest seriously at this point of my life, I am also buying into the American concept that rest comes with retirement ... and not before then. But I do not need to be enslaved until some arbitrary age! I have been liberated by Christ Himself. 

Here in midweek, I urge you to listen to this message and plan ahead for ways you can get off the treadmill of emails, housework, scheduled activities, and the like ... and enjoy Sabbath rest. Listen to Tim Keller, glean from the biblical wisdom he presents, and live like people liberated by the King!

(Photo: To me, contemplative rest always needs to include a water view...)

Beatitudes in Business

Here's a provoking piece from Boundless that applies to anyone working in a group context, whether in the marketplace or a volunteer activity. It is about how to grow in Christlikeness in an environment that often is thought to be separate from such concerns. The author is Dr. Bruce Winston, dean of Regent University's School of Global Leadership & Entrepreneurship.

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 How should I live my life?

I had to face this question 15 years ago during a church service at a time in my life when I was teaching management to MBA students. I realized that morning that, while I was an openly Christian professor, I kept the Bible for Bible studies but relied on the traditional textbooks for teaching and for my own management of 20 school employees.

During the sermon the pastor stated the Great Commandment to love God and love people. I was struck by how much "love" was an action word and that it spoke of how I should live my day-to-day life. I was sure I understood how to love God, but I found myself wondering how I could love my employees and my peers in the workplace.

Finding love in all the right places

I decided that if I was going to "love" employees and peers during the work week, then I needed to start with what I had learned on Sunday. I knew of the Greek words typically translated as "love" — Eros, Phileo, and Agape — but none of these seemed applicable in the workplace.

Not seeing a workable solution from the three forms of love, I went back to the New Testament and looked for something else. I found a form of love —Agapao — that surprisingly I hadn't heard of before. It's the most common form of love in the Greek New Testament and seems to emphasize a "moral" love — doing the right things for the right reason at the right time.

I found that Agapao is derived from the same root word as Agape but the modification of the word significantly modifies the meaning. This is similar to the differences between "waterfall" and "waterway" — both have the same root but if you do on a waterfall what you do on a waterway you're in for a problem.

Now that I had discovered the right concept to help me know how to love my neighbor, I went to work trying to figure out how to apply it in the workplace.

The Beatitudes

At about the same time of my insight into Agapao I heard a presentation on the beatitude "Blessed are the meek" and how we all need to be meek. I couldn't imagine telling our MBA students to be meek — we had been teaching them to be aggressive in business, assertive, and so on. I wrestled with the dilemma: If I'm to apply Scripture to my life, then I have to put all of Scripture to all of my live. Including my work as a manager and as a business professor. I wondered if perhaps I didn't rightly understand the Beatitudes.

What I found in the years since I first started studying the Beatitudes, I'm happy to say, showed me how to love others and how I should live my life, regardless of the context. I found the Beatitudes remarkably applicable to how one manages a business, how one manages employees, but also how one walks out life outside of the workplace.

[Read more on Boundless.org.]